U2 BITS AND PIECES

This is a place where you can contribute bits and pieces all in the name of U2. If you have a story, a poem, jokes, anecdotes, whatever about U2 or relating to U2..I'd love to hear from you! Just email me!. I'll put it up and all credit goes to you - easy innit?

Thanks to Chris from Layton, Ohio, for this

MY U2 STORY.... FOR YOU

I just came to your website to see some cool pictures of the best band in the world, U2!! Anyway you said that you wanted to hear from people with a U2 story, well here's mine. I have been a fan ever since Achtung Baby came out, and my passion for them is getting bigger as the years go by. Anyway I recently got an old U2 tourbook from 1984 off an auction, this book was signed by Bono, The Edge, and Adam Clayton. Larry's sig is missing. Anyway this tops all of my U2 treasures, just thought I'd tell ya.
Chris

Thanks to Eileen Johnson for this

MEETING THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE

I only went to one Popmart concert, in Salt Lake City, I am but a poor struggling college student. But I have never been so excited for anything in my whole life. All I could think about was how much I wanted to meet Bono, it dominated every minute of my life. I was dreaming about him every night.

Finally the day of the concert arrived, and my fanatical friend and I were at Rice Stadium about 8 hours early, we were hoping to hear the band rehearse. So we were just strolling around the stadium, admiring t-shirts, laughing about the condoms, and basically on the biggest high of our lives, when we hear honking behind us.

We turned around to see 4 black Lincoln town cars pulling into the stadium. We recognized hair, hats and clothing, and we began running for the cars. I don't know what we would have done had we reached them, but it wasn't an issue as they pulled into the gates only seconds before we could get our hands on them. I was devastated. I was trying to climb the fence, I wanted to get my hands on Bono so badly, but as a security guard was attempting to restrain me, I saw a familiar black-hooded face walking toward the gates with a big smile on his face. I almost fainted. He walked up to me and my friend, and a few others who had heard me scream, "Oh my gosh, it's BONO!" He shook hands, gave us hugs, signed autographs, and even signed some guy's t-shirt. He was so unbelievably nice. His bodyguard kept telling him it was time to go, and he just kept ignoring him. Some moron called him B-oh-no. Needless to say, Bono didn't like that. It was easily one of the greatest days of my life. I got a great picture of his face, that I blew up to an 8x10 and now hangs framed on my wall.

And that is my meeting Bono story. I hope that it brings a smile to someone's face, because I can't think about it without breaking into the worlds cheesiest grin. How could anybody not love this band?
Eileen Johnson

Thanks to Rachel MacPhisto for this

Rachel's U2 Story

Allright folks, this is my story. When I was a kid, I wasn't into music all that much. Sure I'd heard of U2, I even remember when "Rattle and Hum" came to the local theater. Then it happened. My big brother Daniel brought home "Achtung Baby" and flipped it on his CD player. I was doing my own thing, and then I hear the most beautiful sound in the world. And I asked Dan what the song was called and he said "One". Life has been much different since that glorious day. Yeah it took a while, but the trip has been worth it. "Zooropa" was my first official U2 purchace with my birthday money, and the collection has expanded since then to include posters, books, videos, t-shirts and the lot. PoP Mart was truly an unforgettable experience. June. 19, 1997 Daniel and I drove down to Oakland and were treated to a religious experience. I wanted to fall to my knees and scream "AMEN" when Bono thanked us all for the support and that this was their church. "One" live for the first time was beautiful and I sang with the tears in my eyes. I love U2 dearly and have sworn my eternal devotion come hell or highwater. I await "The Ground Beneath Her Feet" with baited breath, and the comming album, and hopefully a tour... My love and respect to my fellow U2ers out there. God speed their love and music to all of us. PEACE!!!
Rachel MacPhisto of Sacramento
25 March 1999

Here's a twist on the usual U2 Biography. You've all heard how U2 were formed right? Well you have yet to hear my version of the story! I now present to you :

THE REAL U2 STORY

Here's a story about a boy named Laurence. Laurence was a good boy in school. He came home early after school, fed hid dog JJ and did his homework every night. One evening, Laurie's mother did not feel like cooking so they ordered Chinese food to be delivered to their home. In half an hour, the doorbell rang. The food had arrived. Laurence opened the door to pay for the food and was greeted by a smiling old man with a long white beard. The old man said, "Larry, the words don't mean shit, it's all about the drums...," took the money and left.

Laurence was transfixed. He knew what he had to do. That midnight (it's where the day begins) Laurence retrieved the chopsticks they used during dinner from the trash bin and started practicing. He played with sticks like it was an extension of his arms. As the hours passed, Laurence played and played, and his biceps grew and grew. And he became Larry Mullen Jr.

As he came down the stairs the next morning for breakfast, his parents stared at him. Their son ( for whom they had plans to make an accountant ) looked like a member of Herman's Hermits! His mother screamed, "Junior! What happened to you??"

"The name's Larry momma, not Junior, not Sonny Boy, not Daisy! Get it right." And he walked out of the house, head held high and his platform shoes clicking on the cobbled road. He knew his destiny, now he had to look for the other Chosen Ones.

That evening as Larry was walking home from school, he felt like taking another route. He passed by a field and saw a row of dahlias waving lightly in the wind. He wasn't particularly fond of flowers, especially flowers that wave lightly in the wind. He started stomping on the dahlias one by one, when a polite voice inquired from behind, "Excuse me, why are you stepping on my flowers?"

Larry turned around and was greeted by the sight of a teenager in studded jeans. Larry wasn't particularly fond of studded jeans either and said, "Gerrof my back, you egghead. Don't mess with me - I'm a drummer!"

Studded Jeans didn't look too impressed.

"Didn't you hear me? I said I'm a drummer!"

Studded Jeans then said, "Yes I did hear you. I'm sorry if I do not look so impressed. You see, I'm a guitarist. And I had a dream last night, and this old person told me - I'm the best one around. I woke up this morning and my hair started falling out. I guess that's the price I pay for being a genius..."

Larry knew then he had found a kindred spirit in this strange boy. So he said, "Look boy, I don't know you, you don't know the half of it. But I'm starting a band - you want to be in it?"

And the boy said, "Yes please."

The boy later introduced himself as Dave Evans. He also explained that the reason he wore studded jeans was to divert the attention from his thinning hair. Larry thought it was all very silly - he would have worn studded shirts. That way he would be able to show off his newly toned arms.

Anyways, Dave and Larry knew there was supposed to be more of them and started looking for suitable candidates.

The next day in school, Larry and Dave were hanging out together between classes. Just then an apparition of coolness passed by in the hallway. Larry and Dave looked at each other, smiled and knew they had discovered the third member. And they both called out,

"Oy there!"

"Excuse me...!" (No points for guessing who said what)

The third member turned and looked at them with piercing blue eyes.

Larry got closer to him and asked, "Have you seen an old bearded man recently?"

"Yes! How did you know? He was delivering milk to my house when he started talking to me about destiny. It was truly bizarre. He mentioned something about me playing bass guitar for a band. Can you believe that?"

Larry said he could, and introduced himself and Dave. Dave smiled shyly and looked enviously at the new member's bushy blonde hair.

"I'm Adam Clayton," said the face below the bushy blonde hair.

There were now three members in the band. They all knew there was one more member, and he would come to them with the voice of an angel and the face of a demi-god. But for now, all they could do was wait.

And then the elusive one appeared.

Two weeks after the discovery of their bassist, the three lads from Dublin, Ireland were at the bus stop waiting to take a bus to school. Just then, they saw an old bearded man with a walking stick trying to cross the road. All three recognised him as the purveyor of their destiny. They approached him and the old man slowly turned around and smiled.

Adam was the first to speak. "Old man, you have to tell us, who is the missing link that will help us achieve international success and recognition!"

"Yes senior citizen. Who the hell is he?" said Larry.

And Dave politely inquired, "Please sir. We have to know!"

Then the old man spoke.

"It is I."

And he slowly took off his white wig, the fake beard and the plastic skin on his face.

"My name is Hewson. Paul Hewson. But you can call me Paulie."

The three members looked at him in awe. They knew then that they had found their niche. They were to become U2.

As for the Hewson kid - he was relieved that his deceitful masterplan had worked. All his life, he had wanted to front a rock'n'roll band.

Now, he has succeded.

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END

well, more or less...

I need more stuff - help me!!

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