Welcome to another new and exciting feature of the Permanent Smile Home Page. We have been meaning to let you in on some terminology that we use for awhile now. Finally, here it is. The page will expand as we make note of all the terms that we do use. Feel free to use any terms listed below in your everyday speech.

P.M.:

1. primitive (primary) mind, ignorant, lacking common sense. Ex: Jerry Springer

2. prehistoric mammal, clutz, tends to have poor balance and co-ordination; one who is tall and awkward looking (hunchbacked); one who is short and awkward looking (rare). Ex: John Madden

3. praying mantis, one who holds arms in the manner of a mantis or Tyrannasaurus Rex; insect family (praying mantis) or lizard family (T Rex). Ex: Ken Shamrock

4. Freak Boy Syndrome - one who suffers from most of the above plus these additional symptoms: smart at one thing, pmish at another; tends to drool and is easily zoned (aka the freak boy zone); moves in a jagged manner. Ex: See below:

C.M.:

1. noun - chin music; adjective - sweet chin music; Shawn Michael's style kick to the chin

2. noun - chocolate milk; Becker's Chocolate milk (the best)

3. Century Media Records Label - the best music around, best label, we love them, keep the CDs coming

4. JSCM - Jessica Spano Chin Music - refer to the movie Showgirls, a fury of kicks to the face

Stein:

I. greedy, corrupt, cheap, weak, tends to lie, rips off people, likes to control media, self-centered, lawyers, assholes

II. sports term - tennis: No Steining! - 1. ball just barely making it over top of net

- 2. ball rolling on top of net then rolling down opponents side (double stein) Ex: Jim is an expert at pulling the stein and double stein in tennis

P.I.N. Metal:

Stands for Punk, Industrial, Noise. This is the base for PIN. When you add metal to that, you combine the already mentioned with all types of metal. This covers many types of music. Permanent Smile likes to combine all of these plus some other musical elements as well. Another group that tries at this, but fails miserably is Powerman 5000.

Glam Boy:

1. one who still listens to Motley Crue, Winger, Dokken, as though they are still the most popular in the metal category; one who attends Vince Neal, Slaughter, Bon Jovi, etc. concerts.

2. one who has the glam hairdo. Ex: Jadomir Jagr.

3. one who likes to play glam style on the guitar, the glam stroke - strumming the strings, continuing outward and holding the pose

4. one who plays the drums like a glam drummer, twirling the stick and pointing while playing, staring at the cameras in a video. Ex: look at the drummers for Kiss and Guns N Roses.

mild example:

Girth:

Girth is the circumference of something. It is also a strap that is secured around an animal's body to hold something else, such as a saddle. In Permanent Smile terms "girth" is the act of strapping it on and getting someone from behind. The most common use of this term is to say "strap it on and girth me baby!". Why do guys think they have to have another guy to take them from behind for them to get anal pleasure. All you have to do is have your girlfriend get behind you and girth you!

Corruption:

This is a term we like to use a lot. It is quite obvious to most, but we like to take it one step further. Girls, this coming from a group of guys, be on the lookout for men who are like the following. The first sign is the mustache. If a guy has a mustache, but no beard, more often than not, he is corrupt. The second sign is to see him drinking Coors Light beer. Obviously the guy wants to get you drunk while he consumes a lower percentage beer. The final thing to look for is the cheap come on lines like: "Hello Baby!", "Hey there beautiful", etc and watch out for the kiss to the hand trick. Believe me, I have seen it done and done successfully. Some of my roommates are as corrupt as they come. These type of people want one thing and that is sex. If you are a girl who wants this too, then hey, go for it; if not, then watch your back.

Weakness:

1. One who can not handle eating food; one who can not eat a lot of food; one who has no business being in a mow fest competition. Do not say how much you can eat of one particular type of food because when you show a weak performance you are made fun of.

2. One who can not handle the grueling activity involved with sports; one who plays sports with a minimum effort; one who cries everytime he gets hit or injured during a game or sporting event.

3. One who listens to weak music (powerman 5000, silverchair, bush, etc.) and thinks it is superior to all other types.

4. One who is lazy; one who sleeps when he should be playing sports; one who constantly makes excuses to get out of playing sports.

Bush Boy:

One who supports the Bush hairdo. This is where your hair is about shoulder length and thick looking. It is termed Bush Boy because the band Bush supports this hairdo. Other examples would be Moist and Pearl Jam. Note: you do not have to listen to Bush to be a Bush Boy.

Sloth:

This is a bummy look. You see these types hanging around in the malls and usually these are teenage kids. These people obviously don't care what they look like. Usually they will have Bush Boy hair and wear grubby jeans, maybe overalls, and some worn out t-shirt. Most often they appear to have not had a shower in a month.

Scissor:

This is a sexual position that we believe lesbians engage in. If you are a lesbian could you please confirm this belief. The scissor is when two females lay with their heads at opposite ends and cross over their legs. Vision it as two scissors coming together at the inner "V". We believe that women who engage in the scissor ram their genitals together extremely hard to produce a very sexually stimulating experience.

Shitting:

Well, this may seem disgusting to most so skip the definition for this term. This is the act of one partner in sex squatting over the other partner and shitting on their face or in their mouth. This seems to be very pleasing to a lot of people when engaging in sexual activities. I couldn't picture myself being involved in this activity.

Paul Bearer:

Paul Bearer is the lead singer of the New York Punk style band Sheer Terror. To be a Paul Bearer, one must constantly be taking smoke breaks. Sometimes these people will sneak into the bathroom of their friend's house and smoke away, trying to hide it. Paul Bearers can not go too long without a cigarette.

Goat Boy:

1. One who looks like a goat.

2. One who eats like a goat.

3. One who is "goat-like" and takes food from you. Our friend Matt Hellens is like this. He qualifies for all three of the definitions. He was always coming to our houses and just helping himself to our food. One time he came to my house and whined because we didn't have any chips.

Ethi:

One who enjoys listening in on other people's conversations. Don't do this. If you get caught you quickly lose your reputation.

Kerrang:

This is our term for raping. If you get accused of kerranging, then you know you have done something very corrupt. This term is based on the last name of someone who got caught raping in our hometown. I am living with 2 people who are now known as the Kerrang Brothers. If you need sex that bad go hire a prostitute. You don't need to commit a violent act such as this!

Neuter:

One who has no penis and no vagina; one who is of no sex. There are only five neuters in North America (to my knowledge). This is an unfortunate thing to be born with I would assume. I wonder if they even have sexual feelings.

Korning:

One who loves to play the guitar like Korn; one who likes to make annoying noises on the guitar like Korn; one who is plainly obsessed with the trashy band known as "Korn". Korn is a disgrace to the music industry. I saw them in concert and when I saw them or rather had to listen to the ten minutes of pure noise that was when I labelled them as a "Shitty" band. That's if you even want to call them a band. Also when I saw their singer humping the stage and singing "I'm a fag!"... well enough said. Fuck you Korn!

Jeffrey:

Well for those of you who saw the movie Jeffrey you will know where we got this term from. This is our modern day term for homo, queer, faggot, etc. Please, be kind and call them Jeffreys.

Mow Fest:

This is a festival of eating as much food as you can. We have had two official mow fests so far. The first one we did not clearly have a winner and the second one we just mowed for the heck of it. Of course there are other times when we have mowed, but not in this fashion. We were hoping to have pictures of the first annual summer mow fest, but unfortunately the camera we used did not work. We do have some mowing pictures though and they will go up soon.

Billy and Kerry:

These are the names we use for pedaphile victims. We wrote a song called "My Sexy Keyboard" which was based on the criminal acts of a rude pedaphile. It must also be noted that we used the phrase: "OH Billy!" long before that thief Jim Carrey in the movie "The Cable Guy". I did find it funny that a phrase that we used made it into a movie.

Gorno:

This is actually a Freak Boy term. It is the rude combination of a porno and a blood and guts horror movie. I actually found a picture about a year ago on the net that depicted such an event. Freak Boy actually was writing some gorno scripts when last we saw him.

Phoniality:

This is a disgusting habbit. We have no experience in such matter but we believe that Freak Boy did. Members of our band have claimed that an aweful stench came from the receiver on Freak Boy's phone. We believe that he was indeed sexxing (see below) with his phone. This is a crude act. Some girls may actually place the phone receiver inside of them. Phoniality is just one example of an "iality". You see, you can add "iality" to almost any word. Some examples would be pillowality (sometimes you drop the i), chairiality, beastiality, clothiality. Just use your imagination. There are many disgusting people out there. Trust me, we know a few of them ourselves.

Sexxing:

This is another term for fucking. Well, in a way it is. This is the term used for the whole process. This includes talking, foreplay, sex, etc.

Another 4 degrees (6 degrees):

This is the distance that a lot of people think is between the vagina and the anus. Thus when you go to UTAH (check out this term below), or sodomize with someone, you can say you went another 4 degrees. The 6 degrees comes into play when you commit an act of beastiality. Don't ask me why we use 6 degrees. Freak Boy always said this. I guess he just figured since sodomy was 4 degrees, beasiality was 6. I think it is just a figure of speech.

Muff Diving:

This is a term used by a lot of people including some members of PS. This is a term used in place of oral sex, eating a girl out, etc.

Dicking:

This is what Jim believes guys do when they have gay sex. (Maybe he has some experience.... hmmm) From what he says, the two guys face each other and ram there penises together at the heads. Jim says to master true dicking you must cum at the same time.

Troll boy:

The troll boy is similar to a sloth. The difference is he is short with long grubby hair. There is a troll boy that we know in Sarnia. His name will not be mentioned but you probably know who you are. There are troll boys all over the world. They look like they come from some realm in mythological legends. Whatever they are, they sure are ugly looking.

Nicotine Bitch:

This is usually an older woman who is grouchy and just all out smokes cigarettes to get through life, every minute of the day. Characteristics are always thin looking and, shaking hands, orange looking skin, ruined teeth, deterioration of the face from dented skin and wrinkles and decayed looking overall. ( could be another type of race of people like troll boys)

Mow Bitch:

One who is prepared to mow anything food in site, like wings, subs, donuts. Mowbitchin is used as a term when preparing for a mowfest and mow bitch evolves from the fact that a typical bitch can mow like crazy when in a mood, so beware.

Pizza Ass:

One who gets prepared for a date for themselves by ordering a large pizza with only cheese and getting naked to fuck half of the pizza and then eating the other half. Its supposed to be close to the real thing.

UTAH:

UTAH is but one of many acronyms that I like to use for short, usually with things that involve sex. UTAH is not the state... it stands for Up The AssHole. So instead of saying anal sex or sodomy you can nicely put it by saying I went to UTAH. Therefore you can say it in public and most people won't know what the hell you are talking about. They'll think you actually went to the state Utah.

Permanent Smile Phrases

Spread the Pink (Purp)!

This should be obvious. This is what you say to a girl when you want to get right in there. The pink, or purp, is the vagina. Jim likes to see it spread nice and wide. He is anxiously awaiting his chance to get a girl to spread the pink for him. trust me Jim, you'll like it. Go get some pink!

All the way!

Jim likes this phrase as well. He likes people to go all the way. Actually he likes everything to go all the way. I think he is usually talking sexually like going another 4 degrees or something.

No Glue for you Jew!

This one Freak Boy liked to say quite often. We think freak boy was a racist, but rest assured the remaining members of Permanent Smile are not. This term was used in a spoof movie that we made in OAC Writer's Craft called "2011: A Space Barbeque". We had some space punks in the movie who liked sniffing glue. When someone who tried to snatch the glue and sniff it, who wasn't supposed to, the other person would sometimes say "No glue for you jew!". I think because jew and glue rhymed that is why it was said like that. Of course there could be other meanings. What do you think?

More to Come!....

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