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Be advised: the following news may strike you as shocking: I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies aside from Phantom Menace and this one.
Okay, now that you're finished fainting, you can choose to read the rest of my review, bearing in mind this obvious handicap. Or, if you prefer, you can send me e-mail flames about this vagrant lack of movie-viewing experience. It's up to you.
If you've made it this far, I'm going to assume you've forgiven me and have chosen to keep reading. So here goes. Attack of the Clones was not the most horrible movie I've ever seen. Far from it. In terms of mindless entertainment, it was actually a lot of fun, and it had lots of cool special effects like monsters with big teeth and talking robots, and of course, fight scenes involving clones. What could possibly be wrong with that?
However, if you're a stickler for minor things like, oh, say, PLOT, then you might have a few problems with this one. Firstly, are we supposed to believe that Natalie Portman's Queen - er - Senator Amidala hasn't aged a day, but Anakin Skywalker has grown up maybe ten years, enough to turn this into a romance between them? Yeah RIGHT!
Speaking of Anakin Skywalker, the only thing worse than Hayden Christinasen's acting was his hair extension. I mean, I realize his character was supposed to be a whiny brat, but, well, that gets extremely annoying to watch after two hours. And the stupid robot one-liners made everyone in the theatre groan out loud. I mean, "I'm beside myself"? Come ON!
Redeeming qualities? There are quite a few. The special effects are cool. The fight scenes are fun. Natalie Portman is charming as Amidala, and Samuel Jackson and Ewen McGregor deliver solid performances. And Yoda. Yoda. Yoda. Yoda. It's all about Yoda. (Oh, and did I mention Yoda?)
The bottom line is that it was better than the Phantom Menace. As if that's saying much.
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