****************THE VOICE OF HERITAGE ***********************************
Dec. 22 1998 From the Independent Republic of Aquavelva

MRS. ROD'S MIDNIGHT ABORT-ATHONS

What was once a thin trickle of sordid details about the goings-on behind the 
walls of the Clinton crash-pad has now become a spewing gusher. The latest details 
would shock even socialists like Newt Gingrich. The fact that Hillary Rodman 
Clinton is a dildo-ramming bull-dyke is no secret to readers of the Voice of Heritage 
both within and without our fine Republic. However, that is just the tip of the bullet-bra 
shaped iceberg. That Hillary is involved in Satan-worship will not be news either, but 
new details have come out about Hillary and Janet Reno's Midnight "Abortion Parties" Held 
in the West wing of the white house. Hillary belongs to a radical feminist organization 
called Choice or Bust which trains laypeople to perform "clean and safe" amateur 
abortions should Roe V. Wade ever be overturned.An eyewitness report from the night of 
August 12, 1998 reveals an "Abortion Party" in squalid detail: A young woman from Arkansas
was flown in on the presidential jet at 7:30 PM Eastern Time. She was put on the couch and 
"readied up" by Janet Reno. (Reno rubbed a tub of organic soy butter all over the womans 
private area- this took 45 minutes). Then Mrs. Rod entered the room. Using crude kitchen 
tools and a rusty diaphram left over from her free-love orgy days with Bill, she ripped 
the innocent, special little baby out as it silently screamed. She then walked into the 
main room and held the fetus up by one leg and shook it saying "Amumbaba Abitas! Amumbaba 
Abitas!" which our expert researchers have 
told us is Wiccan for "Her satanic majesty has cleansed this
woman's womb of penile waste-product!! Rejoice! Rejoice!"The all-woman entourage then 
played catch with the fetus for several minutes while engaging in "lesbian dancing". It was 
then prepared for cooking. 

AQUAVELVA POLICE BEAT ************************************

"Titfeel Disco" Closed Down
Several Aquavelva teens are being held in detention for spiritual counselling after security 
forces raided a garage in South Leviticusville where lascivious behavior was reported.
Approximately 10 male and female teens met there regularly for what was called the "Titfeel Disco" 
where they would turn off all the lights and play banned records by Debby Boone, Olivia Newton John, 
Sheena Easton and Amy Grant and "feel each others nipples." "There's nothing in the Bible 
against that" said one deeply confused teen. "We totally oppose sex before marriage, we are
deeply committed to Christ. This is our way of expressing ourselves" another teen
desperately rationalized. Clearly it is time for a rigorous program of spiritual cleansing 
for the youth of Aquavelva.

Larry Gatlin Solo Album Confiscated
At 3:00 AM the home of West HolyspiritInfilling resident Jennifer Bucketbag was searched 
following a report that she owned a recording by secular humanist "country" singer
Larry Gatlin of the infamous "Gatlin Boys" who once gang-raped a young girl named Becky 
Rogers in the early eighties. The item was found in the lower droor of a dresser in 
the attic. "That was from before I was saved! I totally forgot about it!" protested
Mrs. Bucketbag. Investigations into Mrs Bucketbag's personal
lifestyle are pending.