Welcome to the holiday season. Where we all spend ourselves into debt to prove that we love people. Let's celebrate the birth of a religious icon by buying things for people that most of the time we don't even really like. Celebration through greed. Only in America. So we have invented a new icon that teaches our children to be greedy and selfish. And make this icon look like a big drunk. Sounds great. This old alcoholic man brings gifts to our children, but first they have to go and sit on his lap at a mall. Which he profoundly enjoys. So we have invented a drunk pedophile to teach our kids about one of the most despicable human traits, greed. Sounds like the great American dream. And to top it all off, we go cut a fucking tree down and stand it in our houses to commemorate the glorious occasion, completing the cycle of our desecration. Why don't you just save yourself some time. Tell your kids to take presents from strangers, drop them off in the sexual offender section of a prison, and start a forest fire. What a happy occasion. The best parts of the human spirit really do come out this time of year. Have a merry Christmas.