While watching the Olympics, NBC took every available moment to go to commercials. Some of you may have seen these, but the J. Hancock insurance agency was running a series of reality commercials, and they are just about the most depressing things I've ever seen on television. The one that I remember most vividly shows two adults talking. The woman says something like, "It's going to be another four years." The man says, "What are we going to do about money." She replies, "It's not about money." Okay, there's the Olympic connection. I'm still following it. Then he goes, "I'm going to California with Billy." They just lost me. There's is a moment of dramatic silence. "You're going to have to tell him," she says, "I'm not going to tell him." The a picture flashes up with different insurance policy names. By now, I've figured out that it is two married people fighting about the woman's Olympic dream, and their struggle to get by without her income while she trains. Then the commercial ends. That was the most depressing thing that I have ever seen. You go from the supposedly inspirational Olympics, to a married couple fighting. What a fucking bummer. I'm sure there are many people out there that are having similar problems, and that's the last fucking thing that they want to see. But all of that aside, I have one major question. WHAT THE FUCK DID THAT HAVE TO DO WITH INSURANCE?
Bill Maher: "Women can not complain about men
anymore until they start showing better taste in them." I couldn't
say it better myself.
I am a big fan of Taco Bell, as are millions
of other people, because there's one on every other street corner. I
stopped by there the other day, and ordered a Taco Supreme with no tomatoes.
The lady taking my order interrupts me. "We call them Picos here."
What? "Picos." Listen lady, this is the United States and
we call them tomatoes here. I don't give a shit what you call them,
just don't put them on my taco. "Sir, there's no need for the profanity."
Alright, whatever. I'll have a Taco Supreme with no picos or
tomatoes or whatever the fuck you guys want to call them. "Sir, I'm
going to have to ask you to leave." Fuck it. I didn't know I
needed a translator to order a fucking taco.
I made a small observation the other day.
Is it just me, or does it seem like rock bands have much more creative
names than rappers? The name always seems to convey the emotion the
band brings, as opposed to completely retarded names that some rappers have.
For example, Rage Against the Machine. Great band, great name,
perfect description of the emotion that the band wants to convey. Nirvana,
Staind, Metallica, the same story. Now rap. DMX? RZA?
Notorious BIG? Jay Z? Can these guys even spell? What
the hell do the letters represent? At least NWA stood for something.
But then again, that was when rap was about having fun and not about
how big your dick is.
One thing that really bothers me is fat
people who wear makeup. There's no way to make fat look pretty. If
instead, they used the time they take putting on makeup to exercise, they
would end up much better looking, and they wouldn't need to use makeup.
Picking through my Gladiator DVD really inspired me.
I have a newfound fascination with the Roman Empire and it's workings.
One little fact that was in the deleted scenes made me remember some
of my old history lessons, and got me to thinking. The scene was of
Christians being fed to lions in the coliseum. It flicked that little
lighter in my head, and knocked some of the dust off of my grey matter.
I've always looked for different ways that Christians are hypocritical.
It fuels the dinner table discussions at Thanksgiving, you could say.
The predominant Christian denomination in the world is Roman Catholicism.
The headquarters of the Roman Catholic Universe is in the Vatican City.
The Vatican City is located inside of the city of Rome. So that
means that the headquarters of one of the strongest religions in the world
is located in a place where the used to use Christians as pet food. Does
this seem a little fucked up or what? What a way to spit on your ancestors.
Sorry that you were eaten for entertainment, but, um, we're gonna set
up the highest order of our religion in the very city that killed you for
fun!
Whoever it is that controls the rights to Jimi Hendrix's music deserves to
be shot. I am so fucking sick and tired of hearing his songs soiled
by using them in fucking car commercials it makes me fucking sick. They
are figuring on selling more cars by playing songs by a man that died of
a drug overdose, in a country where drug users are persecuted as criminals.
I am convinced that Christina Aguilera is an alien. After listening
to that emotionless drone time after time on MTV, she seems like a more like
a programmed robot than a human. Just a theory. Maybe I've watched
Men In Black too many times on HBO, but even ET showed more fucking emotion
than that cocksucking whore.
We've started to bomb the towelheads. Like most people, I'm highly
conflicted on the entire affair. I've had some time to think about
the entire thing now, and I'm being pulled in two different directions. On
one hand, I don't want this to turn into another Iraq, where we're shooting
fish in a barrel. On the other hand, somebody obviously has to pay
for the bombings. I don't trust the American government. I think
that we are routinely lied to, and it has become second nature for me to
question every statement that they make without evidence to back it up.
The Bin Laden connection to this entire thing really hasn't been solidly
proven to me yet. If they can give me hard evidence, I'll roll with
the entire thing. All we've really gotten is so far is the president
telling us we have evidence. I don't trust him, and I didn't fucking
vote for him. Regardless of my feelings, we are bombing Afghanistan.
The country has an air force of forty planes, and a ground force of
around one hundred tanks. The only significant weapons that they have
are around two hundred Stinger surface to air missiles that, following Bill
Hicks-ish logic, we gave them years ago. At this point, us fighting
them is like pitting Mike Tyson against an eight year old. Even though
they have the home turf advantage, this isn't Vietnam. We've got much
better shit now, and some itchy-ass trigger fingers.
All told, from what I've seen, is we are picking on a much smaller opponent once more. I've seen news interviews with Taliban officials, and they're saying that this is an attack on Islam. So apparently, they're not just outgunned, they're FUCKING IDIOTS. If we were attacking Islam, we'd be bombing Saudi Arabia, the center of the fucking religion, not some fucking towelhead hillbillies. I'm not a racist, I have no problem with foreign cultures, and I know some Muslim people personally. The Taliban are refusing to turn over Bin Laden not for some political cause, but because they're just dumb. It's like giving a hitman the finger while he's got a gun to your head. So my major conclusion through this thing so far is that if we kill a bunch of morons, the world is a better place.