I vowed to myself that I wouldn't do any Y2K bits.  But it's just too easy.  I can't help myself.  I was watching the news today, and they reported that gun sales are up 15% due to the millennium.  People are buying guns to ring in the new year.  This got me thinking, "Why would anyone buy a gun because of Y2K?"  Why do most people buy guns?  For protection.  So if you put two and two together, it means people are buying guns to protect themselves from Y2K.  Let's think about this.  What could occur on New Year's that would cause people to worry?  Worst case scenario: all structure breaks down causing absolute chaos and looting.  You'd have to be a complete moron to think that this would ever happen.  People have known about the possibility of a problem with 2K for the last five years.  So despite our muddled government, they have had at least five years, probably longer, to fix any potential problems or update their current systems.  But still people are buying guns.  So lets stretch their theory.  Structure collapses and chaos ensues.  People want to protect their shit from riots and looters.  First off, anyone stupid enough to loot probably has a gun, and because you have a gun, someone winds up dead, everybody loses.  Secondly, and most importantly, the odds of your home being looted is next to nothing.  The looters will go for businesses where they have lots and lots of cool shit, unlike you, where you only have a little bit of cool shit.  I have a solution for everyone.  Buy some fucking insurance.  That's what's it's for.  Somebody steals or wrecks your stuff, you get new stuff.  Pretty simple.  And now that you have insurance, go out and fucking party.  The biggest goddamn party ever is about to go down.  I plan on getting completely hammered to a point where most of the night is a blur.  That's the best way to remember a once in a lifetime event is to celebrate.  When else will the entire world unite in celebration?

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