Chapter 19





Dear Journal, 12/24/99

Here it is, the day before Christmas, and I am all alone. I miss Taylor so much!! Christina called and comforted me, and she plans to come visit me next week. My aunt and uncle haven't bothered to wish me a Merry Christmas, and neither have my parents. Taylor called, if that means anything. I've been thinking alot about me and him. I'm beginning to think that maybe we should break it off. He has his career, and I'm just getting in the way. The last thing I want to do is hold him back. I would hate to lose him because he is really the only person that understands me and cares for me. I just love him so much and I don't think I could bear to lose him. He has been so understanding and compassionate. But, lately, I haven't seen much of him, which hurts me too. It looks like either way I'm going to get hurt. What will happen when I go back to New York? Will he forget about me like everyone else has? I am just so confused right now. I'm trying to think about Taylor and what's best for him, but the thought of losing him hurts me too much.

Jessi threw her pen and journal across the room in frustration. She got up and paced back and forth, trying to think of what to do. After an hour, she realized there was nothing she could do until Taylor came back. She walked to her bedroom and slipped on her pajamas. As she climbed into bed, she clicked on her radio. "Merry Christmas, Baby" was playing. Jessi cried herself to sleep.



Chapter 20

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