If you've got any gossip you like to spread - like the proverbial wild oats - far and wide across seething ocean of chaos that is the internet, either Email me or post it up on the Guestbook. If it's any good, I'll put it in here and you'll get the credit. If it's really good, you might even get decorated for your efforts!
According to the current Melody Maker, Get In will be released on August 10th.
Melody Maker, 13th June.
It's possible that the single after that next will be Physic Defence - possibly featuring remixes by Arab Strap and Mogwai. This is all conjecture, however based on my interview with Pete X at the Electric Ballroom and Lauren's last signing of my guestbook (entry 108), so don't sue me if I turn out to be wrong or the band change their minds or something... Ok?
Lauren Laverne, via my guestbook, 15th April.
Johnny X, 3rd June.
The next single will be "Stay In The Sun" to be released on July 27th. B-sides will be "Hooray for Everything2 and "Kisses for me," plus remixes by Fridge and Maxwell Implosion. Presumably we'll be getting the two CD set treatment again.
BSX at KFC Newspage,
Lauren Laverne via Spiritual Home of Kenickie Guestbook,
Kenickie will be performing an extra, secret warm up gig at the Reading Alleycat on sunday 24th May. Reading's not too difficult to reach from Hatfield, so I shall be there - probably dressed in black.
KFC Messageboard, 22nd May.
Lauren complains Kenickie groupies are too young shock!
According to Lauren on when she appeared on the Jo Whiley show, most Kenickie Groupies are about 15. This severely reduces apres gig fun and frollics, 'cos basically it's "'Sign your chest?' they you go, now go home..." I sympathises, which is why myself and my hairy eco-terrorist mate Alex will be forming a small merry band of 20+ groupies at the Ballroom, you are all welcome to join so long as you can prove (by fair means or foul) that you are post-teen. Lauren didn't get to say a lot else on the show, however, 'cos this ugly music biz jerk kept on talking all the time and wouldn't shut up. Boy George was alright though...
The Jo Whiley Show, 20th May.
Two new members of Kenickie have been confirmed. They are Graham Christie on drums (qv) and Dot Allen on Keyboards. Both have reputations. Both are supposed to be good - at least that's what I've heard, and both are Scottish. Make of that what you will.
KFC Messageboard, 20th May.
I'm not giving you much warning here, but Lauren will be appearing on the Jo Whiley show, C4 at 11pm on Wednesday the 20th May, ie. tommorow night. Enjoy. I admit I've know this for ages but I was just too damn lazy to put it up until now.
KFC Messageboard, 19th May.
I really should have mentioned this earlier, but the 'Nicks will be featuring on Radio 1's Evening Session between the 18th and 21st of May, If you rush to your radio's right now, you should just be in time to hear the first program...
KFC Messageboard, 18th May.
With an intsy wintsy bit of luck, the video to I Would Fix You will be screened for the first time on the Chart Show on Saturday 16th. Yes, that's right, tomorrow. I, for one, won't be watching it as I will probably be in bed with a stonking great hangover. I'm sure the 'Nicks would approve...
Marie Du Santiago, via KFC Guestbook, 15th May.
It would seem that the release date for I Would Fix You has been put back a week to the 25th May.
I got that card from Lauren today. It does indeed have ducks on it. two of them in fact. They are fluffy and rather sweet, they remind me of the live neural response to chemical stimuli experiments I'm doing in my physiology and pharmacology degree. But that's a different story. Not an awful lot of gossip here other than I won't be getting a copy of catsuit City after all - oh well, shit happens as they say, but never mind - and apparently Lauren got squashed into some kind of shell in the video to I Would Fix You whilst the director shouted baby a lot.
More significantly, appearances with Jamie Theakston are in the offing, as is a duet with Kevin Rowland.
I'll transcribe the letter if enough of you twist my arm, but there isn't much more of earth staggering interest to you lot in it.
Lauren Laverne, via Matt's Letterbox, 7th May.
Now that Johnny X is taking over from Lauren on guitar, you might have wondered who will be replacing him on the drums. Well, my spies inform me that the answer to that question is one Graham Christie. Exactly who this is I do not know, but my informant states that he is quite close to the man in question, so he should know.
Stewart, The Soapbox, 7th May
Apparently I Would Fix You has been put on the Radio 1 A list, which assures us 15-21 broadcasts in daylight hours, which is nice. A list tracks have a previous habit of going top ten. Fingers crossed.
Simon Tyers, KFC Message Board, 1st May
Lauren has hit my page again. Bully for me. It's guestbook entry number 108 if you want to go and read it. Otherwise, in summary she has said:
1)She is going to send me a card with Ducks on it.
2)Marie's hair is now Black and Pink.
3)I Would Fix You will be out on the 18th May.
4)Also the contents of said single, but I can't remember that right now.
Enlightening stuff, I'm sure you'll agree. Oh yeah, Marie hit App's page, I'll be setting up a link in my personal bit of the page shortly
Lauren Laverne, my Guestbook, 15th April
Lauren Laverne admits to childhood fear of the Vapours Shock!
Yes indeed, skeletons positively flew out from the cupboard when Lauren admitted on NMTB that her elder bro (the X man himself?) used to torture her in the back of the car by pulling his face into a warped parody of a mongoloid face - alledgedly making him look like the baby out of Terrahawks, not that I'd know 'cos I never used to watch Terrahawks myself - and sing "Turning Japanese in a demonic voice. Scary!
I always used to rather like that song myself...
Lauren Laverne, via Matt's Television, 3rd April
Lauren Laverne should be appearing on NMTB next friday (April 3rd). I look forward to it with a certain amount of glee...
Planet Kenickie Message Board
"One of Matt's predictions comes true" shock!
The forthcoming single will indeed neither be 'Sixties Bitch' nor 'Run Me Over,' but will instead be 'I Would Fix You.' This is a good thing as it means I've already got the lyrics and will only have to transcribe the b-sides. It also means that one of the great undetectable 'Nick tracks will be released for us all to hear, which is nice. Release dates are still unclear, but we seem set for May as predicted.
Before I leave you, I'd better give some credit to Spanners via Cherry, 'cos they seem to be the source of this tip-off, although I picked it up from Planet Kenickie.
Anne, Planet Kenickie Message Board, 14th March
Shock horror! Terrible news! It would seem that the scary fan about which Lauren was refering was none other than I. How can this be? I've always thought of myself as a rather humble fan actually. Just because I own nearly all their records, constantly express my unending adoration of the band in general to all and sundry on this page, and furtle regularly with a lifesize cardboard cutout of Lauren - it doesn't mean I'm scary. Does it?
Anyway, go to the KFC Guestbook and read all about it in Lauren's latest communication to her adoring fans. (PS, the furtling bit was a joke).
Lauren Laverne, via KFC Guestbook, 10th March
Lauren was on C4's Light Lunch on friday 27th Feb, but I didn't know so I missed it. Doh! She descibed Net fans as scary - which is fair enough, and j03 reckons she looked hungover. Then again, I look hungover most friday mornings too.
j03, My Guestbook, 1st March
Hurrah, this time Lauren hit ME. but rather than sign my guestbook (which apparently didn't work - what a stroke of pure blind good fortune!) she e-mailed me. Rather than try and eek all the little crumbs of gossip out of the letter and turn them into nice, soundbite sized, digestable lumps - which is what I normally do - I've just installed a link here so you can go and read it yourself. This news is a couple of weeks out of date, but I couldn't be arsed to update the gossip page any sooner.
Matt, 1st March
The phantom signatory that is Lauren Laverene has struck again, this time in the Kenix TV Guestbook (but why not mine?), so I have lots of lovely news to bring you staight from the horses mouth (so to speak, not implying that Lauren is a horse or anything). For starters, EMIDisc are busy arguing over which single to release. Lauren wants it to be either 'Run Me Over' or 'Sixties Bitch' but my cunning guess is it may well be neither. On the subject of releases, Lauren says "Sorry that the album is taking so long, we have finished it and if I had my way we'd release it tommorrow. [Hurrah!] It'll probably come out around May [Booo!] (I know - MAY!) but there will be singles and gigs before that so it won't be too bad." Well, fair enough. While we're on the subject of music, X is now playing Guitar as Lauren claims to be sick of it, Lauren should be appearing on NMTB once again in the not too distant future and Lauren also gave us sly warning that they might be recording a few songs with Ant and Dec. Hmmm...
Lauren Laverne, via Kenix TV Guestbook, 8th Feb
Also from Lauren, she has apparently spent three weeks on the trot out on the piss, what's more "...[I] only went to casualty once! Good eh?" Well, I could do that, but I always seem to run out of MONEY by the beginning of the second week. Not satisfied with reminding us what a damnably rich good time girl she is (do I sound jealous? I do? shame on me!), Lauren would also seem to reckon herself to be a bit of all right at bowling. Indeed she says, "I have discovered that I am the queen of bowling. We went out with some lads and us three kicked arse..! ...My technique is unusual, though. I kind of throw the ball up into the air and then it lands hard and rolls. It works but you get a bad shoulder." Well, I've heard that one before and hearby announce that I wish to CHALLENGE Lauren and (of course) the rest of the 'Nicks to three frames down at the Pentagon Bowling Centre in Chatham (or the one in Hertford if I can ever find it). I'm supposed to be quite good at bowling, but I'm sure my meagre talents will pale to insignificance next to those of the Queen of bowling. She can pay.
Lauren Laverne, via Kenix TV Guestbook, 8th Feb
Lauren tells us that Marie is ill, my guess is that it's a cold or maybe flu 'cos there's a lot of it about at the mo. Well, whatever way, all at Matt's Kenickie Webpage (ie, me) would like to wish Marie all the best and...
More general acclaim. Lauren was voted 5th sexiest woman in the MM end of year polls. She was also voted 3rd in the woman of the year poll, in which Marie came 10th. Marie, however, did not make it onto the "SEX" poll. Presumably she doesn't make pre-pubescent tykes' dicks flutter in the way Lauren does. At The Club was voted 10th best album of the year. It may be apparent that I don't think much of MM or a good proportion of it's readers - but that's ok 'cos I don't like NME much either - but this time they seem to have got something right.
Kenix TV News Page, 18th Jan
With a bit of luck, the next single will be out in may. (Swift double take...) MAY!? How am I supposed to wait that long? Oh God, this is hellish!
This info got here by a rather convoluted route, involving Cherry and Spanners, so I'm not quite sure who deserves credit.
Spanners, via Cherry, 18th Jan
According to NME, the new album "Get In" (qv) will be released in the summer. Not much I grant you, but it's the best my spies can do.
Acetone Gossip Page, 11th Jan
At The Club was put at number three in Andrew Mueller of the Independent's top ten albums of the year which he would most like to take on a voyage to find somebody yellow in Timbuktu (a reference to the frankly baffling line "Yellow man in Timbuktu" from the Spice Sluts' single "Spice up your life." Apparently, the tarts - as well as believing they are talented and sexy - are labouring under the impression that Timbuktu is in East Asia rather than in Mali in the southern Sahara. That or they are talking about some poor sod suffering from jaudice, which I consider to be in rather bad taste... But I digress). The 'Nicks fought thought such stiff and varied opposition as Blur's eponymous album, U2's Pop, Farther by Geneva and the Wu-Tang Clan's Wu-Tang Forever, only to be second bested Radiohead's Ok Computer and The Boatman's Call by Nick Cave and the Badseeds. Never mind, more critical acclaim is good critical acclaim - so mucho respecto to all Kenix fans out there in pop-critic world.
Matt, 5th Jan