Swingin George the Third was the King of England.

He was one 'a them kind a cats that's ballin' up a breeze all the time, see what I mean.

Them court chicks was real pretty, and the music was jumpin', and the juice was flyin', and King George, Swingin' George the Third, he the kind a cat say, he say, "Ya see that Duke of Libbibidee?"

The cat say, "Yeah."

He say, "Give that cat a castle. He look pretty good today in his new armor. Heshinin' up pretty solid."

Say, "You ain't, you ain't, you all outa castles, Swingin' George."

He say, "Build the cat one, whatsa matter witch you?"

He say, "Well, alright, solid."

He was that way, you see what I mean?

George wanted everyone to have a good time.

He got swingin' sohard, so solid, and so wild, and so stormy, that he done run outa loot.

And when he started to run outa loot, and he started to look around somewhere heres, say, "We gotta get us some gold."

He call his minister cats in, say, "Whatcha gonna do, George, Swingy?"

Swingin' George say, "Well, ya know there's only one thing to do. You know them square colony cats over there," he say, "we just knock a little tax on them," say, "They ain't gonna mind it. They don't know the score anyway."

They havin' a peaceful and prosperous life, these colony cats, you see.

They's carryin' on cool and fine over there, you see.

They wanted to decide WHAT should be taxed.

If they gonna put it down they want to know what they gonna put it down on.

They laid a little sayin' said, "No gold shall show if we can't blow!"

That was the watchword, ya see what I mean.

And the Stamp Cats hired by Swingin' George, cut out 'cause they didn't dig the drag that the colony cats was puttin' on them.

Now there's a cat by the name 'a Sammy Adams, he was a real swingin' cat.

He's the kingpin in Massachussetts.

He set up a meetin' in New York City for all the colonists to protest.

Was puttin' down this bad tax jazz, didn't dig it no way.

It was also arranged to have an underground Western Union goin' between the colony cats, ya see what I mean.

And this real swingin' cat, this stud by the name of Pat Henry, he was a goin' man.

He was with it, he was bound with it, and wouldn't quit it.

He was a big shot in the South, South Virginia.

He said "Caesar had his Brutus, Charles the First done had his Cromwell, and George "Swingin'" the Third must cool and not play the fool.

Well, he got many kudos and bravos for that bit.

Now there's another cat by the name of Ben Franklin.

He was a wailin' cat, he was wid it all da time.

He was sent to England to protest cause he was a cold cat, you know what I mean.

He come on real strong dis here hip cat Bennedy Franklin, he been wid it all the way.

He done spied it out, had rings on da fingers, and jumpin'and goin', and he, he swung Philadelphia.

He had the streets paved, they lit 'em up, and he proved the fuzz force, the firecats, an founded da U. P., an started da foist library, an' published da Penn Gazzette an' Poor Richard's Almanac
an it was filled wid jazz like:"If you're up wid de early bright your kite will fly right!"

Cool!

Now, like I say, he's a cat has lots of sayin's an all, he wailin' all the time, he wanted to build some solid swing between England and America.

And he went to Parliament every day to try to hip da cats to call off da stamps.

Well, da British merchant men, dey was complainin' cause business was bad.

The American cats weren't buyin' nothin' due to dis and Benny's put down.

George let up, done rang da bell, called in da call and re-pealed da tax.

Now when da cats in America done got hip to dis, dey flipped!

Dey build bonfires, bells rang, flags went up, and everybody danced and got juiced.

Some time went by again, and George got short 'a loot.

He's puttin' on "Swingin' George," you know, if you're a swingin' king, you've got to swing, you know, you can't swing anyway,

George is swingin' completely out of dis world.

He done run short 'a loot.

And he decided to stamp dem cats again.

He say, "Dey alright. Dey jumped solid dat time, but dey be cool dis time. Wadda ya say we just stamp a few things, you know what I mean, like da coffee and da tea, you know, make it cool on da cats."

Well, when da cats heard about this, they jumped salty all over the place.

There's riots, and the Red Coats and the Pink Coats, and all dat jazz, and the Americans, the cats were laid out stiff and stark before Captain Pressmen of the Royal Guards cool the situlation.

Now George, "Swingin'" George the Third, he's got his ear to the wire. He hear about all dis jazz.

He decided to re-peal da tax once mo.

He ain't gonna tax em fo da coffee, but he gonna put da stomp on da tea.

Well, da colony cats were overjoyed, but dey didn't dig da tea situlation.

Bein' all former English cats dey dug da tea but dey wouldn't buy or drink it cause dey wanted to put George down for stompin' da tax on it.

Now the East "Swingin'" India Company, who was handlin' shippin' da tea to America, was flippin' 'cause dey couldn't push da tea onto da colony cats.

Bankruptcy was in sight.

The East India Company cut the price of the tea, but the colony cats still refused to deal.

The colony cats were flippin' inside, dey really dug da tea.

Dey're wiggin' to the extent of goin' out into the country lookin for a substitute.

Dey found one.

It's consistin' of a mixture of dried up leaves, raspberry bushes, and some ground-up herbs.

It came close, but they still pined for the mother tea.

Now the Peggy Stuart was among the many ships of England bound for America with her cargo holds bulgin' with Orange Pekoe.

When she arrived at Annapolis, Maryland, a bunch of da studs held a meetin' and decided that due to the tax that was still on da tea dey weren't a gonna allow da tea to land, and the populace wigged harder den dat.

Dey decided to burn da cargo and da ship.

But before dey got dere de owner of da ship, Mister Anthony Stuart, the cat dat was da captain, he got so nervous and goofed off cause he couldn't stick his head out of a port hole widout some cat, boom, wangin' him wida gun.

He got so noivous and so upset and so unsettled and so shook he done burned his own ship wid da tea and all!

Hee, hee!

But da Dartmouth, dat's another ship dat George, dat "Swingin" George, like I say, he's sendin' them ships out all da time, you see what I mean, arrived in Boston on the early Sunday, November the twenty-eighth, 1773, and two days later, de Eleanor and the Beaver arrived, that's two more swingin' ships, loaded wid da tender leaf.

Well de English taxers refuse to let the ships out 'til dey dump de cargoes.

De colony cats tried every which way to send the ships back.

As a final ultimatum dey gave da captain twenty days to split, or else.

Well, Sammy Adams, like I 'splained to ya, a real hard, swingin', cat, held a meetin' at the end of dese twenty days at the Old South Church in Boston.

He got up and he spoke ten words, which were: "Dis Meetin' can do nothin' more to save the country."

Just as he finished some cat in the rear of the church got up in his seat, blew a chorus of "Redwing" in B flat, and about fiftycats boom boodely, boom bah, boom boodely bum bum, buddly, bum bum bee, bee um ba all dressed up in grease paint and feathers got up and started jumpin', and swingin', an whoopin', an just then another cat jumps up and does a chorus of "Boston Harbor is Gonna be a Swingin' Teapot Tonight!"

Den another cat hollers out, "Down to Joe Griffin's wharf!"

And fifty Indian studs cut out for the docks with the populace right behind 'em

Dey boarded de Dartmouth, the Eleanor, and the Beaver, and proceeded to rip open the hatches wid dere hatchets.

And these cats wailed for three hours.

And in three hours they made thirty thousand tea balls out of three hundred chests of tea, but cooled the issue.

Now you get hip wid history you know a cat can't cross ya, cause I'm gonna straighten ya all de way.

Got it?

Solid!

From Hipsters, Flipsters, and Finger-Poppin' Daddies, Knock Me Your Lobes, RCA Victor, 1955