When did you first find out your Dad was ill?
I was living in Orlando, America, working at Walt Disney World, when my mom, dad and two older brothers came down for a vacation. We had a really good time, but as soon as the vaction was over my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. I was 19, so it was five years ago.

How did you react to his diagnosis?
Well I didn't know he was ill at first. He didn't want to worry me. My dad had surgery to remove the tumour straight away - with immediate treatment the survival rate is normally pretty good. Then the cancer came back. It had already spread through his body. When was told, I was devastated. I moved back home to Kentucky to be with him. He lived for ten months after his diagnosis.

So you saw all the stages of his illness?
Yes. He was taken to hospital, and after a while he was able to come home. Then the chemotherapy caused clots in his blood. He had a stroke, which affected his heart, so they put him back in hospital. The doctors thought it was over, but he lived through that too. Through it all, I never thought my dad would actually die. I never thought something like this could happen to my family.

What was your dad like?
He was a big man, as tall as I am - about six foot one - and a lot more muscley. He was an outdoors man and a handyman who could fix anything in the house. He played American football when he was younger and he came to me and my brothers' football games, cheering us on. He was dependable, always there for us. And my father would never complain if he'd hurt himself or if he was sick.

What happened to your family when your dad died?
We've always been close, so we were all very supportive of each other. My eldest brother, who was a model in Dallas, moved home too. I'm so proud of the way my mom handled it. She and my father were high-school sweethearts. My mom was - has been - so strong.

What emotions did you go through?
I was very angry. I felt my father had been cheated of his golden years. My brothers and I were growing up, sorting out our own lives. He should finally have been able to sit back, get ready to retire and do what he wanted. But he was taken away. He was only 49.

How did that affect your faith in God?
I felt very angry with God. I doubted him. I still haven't got over the anger, but eventually I realised my family is not unique. With all the illnesses around, such as cancer and Aids-related diseases, people go through a lot of pain. It helps me to understand that I'm not the only one. I just have to go on.

Do you still miss him, five years later?
Definitely. I miss his advice. I talked to him about what I wanted to do with my life. I was gonna join the air force when I left high school. That was the logical thing, my brain told me to do that, whereas my heart told me to pursue my music and my dad agreed. He told me to do whatever I wanted. Not long after that we had that conversation, my best friend and I moved to Orlando.

When is the hardest time for you?
Christmas and Thanksgiving. Whenever I hear Christmas music, it brings back all the memories, of our times with him when I was growing up. We used to collect the Christmas tree together, shovel snow off the driveway - all the perfect Christmas things.

Has being away from home, not surrounded by memories, helped?
Things still remind me. What gets me is when we meet terminally ill children. If I see a child who I know isn't going to have a chance to live life, it tears me up inside. I have to leave the room sometimes.

You mentioned your dad at the MTV Awards?
Brian did that. He said, 'To our family and friends, whether you're watching at home or up above, thank you.' I knew if I said something too I'd get emotional. But if I have the chance again, I'll mention him. I love my father and I want him to be remembered.

Is there one thought that's helped you?
I want to live my life in a way that would make him proud. I think he'd be pleased that I worked at the band. As long as I do what makes me happy, without sacrificing my morals, and follow what I was brought up to believe, he'll be proud.