October 11, 1998
Lately, everything is way, way downhill. I don't know if this is just a temporary thing or if I sliding down the downward spiral. I don't get this, Lacy lied to me and then lied about lying to me and then begged for forgiveness. Does this make any sense? Why waste my time on someone like her when I have plenty of friends who don't lie to me or talk behind my back? It just pisses me off that she would do something like this. Then again, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. But then again, who ever said I was??? Here I am, listening to Live, going on about Lacy again. When will it ever end? Like, when she moves, I suppose. Anyways, the other night I got a phone call from Elizabeth(Laura's sister) saying that Laura missed me. I told her to tell Laura that I missed her and that I wished she come back. It turns out that Elizabeth is living here now and working at C-Mart. She told me I could stop by anytime I liked. Cool. Last night Becca stayed over and we watched South Park and Half Baked. It was cool. Weeel, I gotta go back to sleep now. See ya.
Shit I'm tired!!! I stayed up until 3:30 last night. Angel "the perfect little angel" stayed overnight. We watched part of Natural Born Killers and then decided it was "overly trippy" for us. Well, I actually heard from Mark yesterday. It was nice hearing from him. At least I know he hasn't died or anything!!!! Tomorrow I don't have school. I'm really happy about that. I won't have to face the stupid fuckin Kansan idiots that I have to live with everyday. It seems like these days everyones against me because I can't get rid of Lacy(so to speak). It pisses me off that she won't leave me alone. I can see why no one else would hang around her. She's a f---ing fat liar. I hate her so much now. I hate Jackie and Kris even worse though. Maybe if Lacy changed her ways she would still have some friends. I've gotta go now.
September 12, 1998
Things have been chillin' lately. I'm so tired!!! Last night I stayed up until at least 4:00 or something like that. I spent the night at Laura's house and we were watching movies and stuff. I am so bored right now! Since Lacy moved I really don't have anyone to talk to. Laura went back to Horton today, so I won't have anyone to talk to. Tonight I might have Angela stay. There are only two things that calm me down these days: 311 and drawing. But lots of times 311 will make me so fucking hyper!!! It's awesome. I gotta go catch some ZZZzzZZZ now. See ya.
September 6, 1998
Everything sucks. It seems like I'm losing some of my best friends over stupid things. But then I start to ask myself "Have they been as great of friend as they should have been?", and realize that maybe they haven't. What real friend would pressure you into doing something that you've refused to? What real friend would talk behind your back and tell everyone your innermost secrets? What real friend would put you down to your face? And what real friend would blame everything that they've done on you? There is only one answer to the question: My friends. Of course, I do have those few friends are extremely loyal to me and never do any of the above(if they do, I sure as hell don't know about it!!!). Let's get off of this sucky subject. I just feel like lashing out with my bass guitar shouting the lyrics to "Platypus" by Green Day. Maybe I will. Well, I've gotta go. More insight from my heart tomorrow.
September 1, 1998
School hasn't been sucking lately. The other day this kid in my class stuck a pencil clear thru his hand. It was totally awesome. It was a little gross, but nothing life-traumetizing. In technology, it's kind of boring, but I'm learning about two of the things I do best (no, not what you're thinking!!!) drawing, and playing around with the computer. Therefore, I get to draw on the computer. I've been doing extremely well in Science lately. I've been getting lots of A+'s. An update on the me and Lacy thing.. we've been getting along a lot better ever since Monday. She was going to see if she could have me stay out there this weekend until Monday, but my mom said no even before Lacy asked her mother!!! What a cow! Maybe someday I'll actually appreciate that though. Then again, if I'm super well-behaved maybe she'll let me go. Highly doubtful, though. Life is just sucky sometimes.
August 28, 1998
Today I didn't go to school. I'm having a nervous breakdown and I have the flu!!! Is it even possible to be 13 and having a nervous breakdown??? Lacy and I had another fight. It was all 'cuz of me and I guess I shouldn't have done what I did. It's all in the past now though. All I'm gonna do today is sit around the house, get fat, listen to Nirvana, write, and watch TV. Sound interesting don't it? I really think that Lacy and I need some major time apart. We've spent so much time together that now, we're completely sick of each other. We got into a fight over some of the stupidest stuff. But, I'm getting all the blame for it. So, I might as well take the blame. Why do I do the things I do? "You're a little late, I'm already torn".
Today was the first day of school. I'm going to absolutely hate the eigth grade. I got all the skanks that I hate in my class. I like a couple of people in my class but, the feeling isn't exactly mutual if you know what I mean. It's starting to piss me off (surprise!). This year I won't put up with anyone's crap. I'll take them out with just a flick of my wrist. Gotta go..
August 18, 1998
Sorry that I haven't wrote in such a long time. Well, I am lead singer of the band again. That makes me extremely over-joyed. Things haven't been going well between me and Lacy. We were in a huge fight, but now we seem to be getting along a little better. I was extremely mad at her because she cheated on Travis for Kyle. Kyle is her new guy. Then when I told her what was wrong (since she was bugging me about it), she told me not to stick my nose in her business. She said that what she does in her life is none of my business. I could understand that. I had already taken thought that I shouldn't care what she does because it's her life, but I've been a part of her life for about 8 or 9 months now, and suddenly she doesn't want me to be a part of it anymore. Tomorrow school starts. I hate school so much it's not even funny. I'm not even trying to think about it anymore. I know that there must be other things to think about than the thing I dread the most. Another thing that makes me mad, is that Lacy told my mom that I haven't been taking my heart medicine, and I have!!!! I cannot stand this much anymore. It's the last day of summer and I'm miserable. Well, Mark started talking to me again. But, he left for a friends' cottage on Thursday. He was supposed to be back yesterday but I haven't heard anything from him yet. I could wait forever though. And I swear if I hear one more person say something about me looking like Gwen Stefani, I will just die. I'm gonna shut up now.
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