You might not be aware of this, but amongst us, living right here on this very planet, are creatures from outer space. Abandoned here by a cruel twist of fate which saw their spaceship crash into the trailer-park infested wastelands of Alabama, aliens are alive and well and masquerading under the name of... Man or Astroman?. In the interests of security, I shall not reveal the true name of my informer. Suffice to say, he is a member of this aforementioned alien invasion that masquerade as a band while they search for the parts needed to repair their spaceship. Until they succeed, they will continue to bring joy to many Earthlings through their infectious surf-punkÉ

First of all, let us explore the reasons for their landing here on earth. Why on Earth would any sensible alien race choose to remain in Alabama? "We crashed!...You know, people don't usually pick where they crash. I don't think that airplane in Florida really wanted to land in the Everglades but it did, so it's kind of a similar story. Ours is a little more tragic - at least they stayed on the Earth, we're nowhere near where we started. Alabama is pretty bleak - I'll tell you that. But, we've moved on and set up research facilities...we've got tons of work going on in that region of the country and most of the rednecks don't have any idea what's going on!"

Speaking of the plane, conversing to visitors from another world makes you wonder what really did happen out there in the Everglades. Bands of marauding crocodiles? A full scale alien abduction? "It crashed! Actually...we've been very busy here in the labs so we haven't had time to investigate...It's probably one of those things...despite your pretty good dealings with it, you still haven't mastered the gravity thing. I would assume it had something to do with gravity." Smart guys these space dudes eh?

Well, perhaps they're not as dumb as they would like us to think. After all, they managed to travel around space for quite a considerable amount of time before finding their way (albeit accidentally) to Earth. Take this next phase thing Man or Astroman? are always banging on about. What is it? And if they can't tell anybody what exactly it will consist of, why bother mentioning it in the first place?

"Well, it's one of those great sort of smokescreen things. We can tell you these sorts of things and tell you that they're dangerous and then in fact you'll go around telling people that they're dangerous but then no one will believe you and take it seriously so it'll be just like you never told them in the first place and that actually works out good. It's one of those deals. Kinda like the whole fact that...if you go around ranting and raving that you're from outer space nobody's gonna believe you so instead of trying to hide the fact we just accentuate the fact that we're from outer space and everybody thinks we're a bunch of dorks from Alabama. See? Works out real good."

One of the things that baffles me the most about Man or Astroman? is their choice of careers here on Earth. Take their music for example. Owing more to the sounds of surf punk bands of the 60s and the likes of Shadowy Men than the sounds of space, Man or Astroman? seem to have picked a very earthy type of music to treat us to. Then there's the fact that to men from space, our recording technology must be very outdated indeed. Why not a career with NASA?

Well, turns out that Man or Astroman? don't actually record. In fact, "the records are by-products from the lab and the lab experience and stuff. We don't actually sit down and record records. We actually get to work in the lab and we end up with buckets and buckets and buckets and bucketfulls of this stuff that can be easily manufactured into records...it's really pretty convenient because you guys have got a big problem here on this planet with your waste disposal and all that kind of stuff. We just sell it. Market it as records, pretend we're in a band and next thing you know...there you go!"

Interesting. But what about this thing Man or Astroman? have about singing? In previous interviews they have explained that they use frequencies far too dangerous for the human ear, which rules out singing on most of their songs. So have they ever exposed humans to any real danger? Being from other worlds, surely there is some risk to Earthlings. "As a matter of fact we had to play a series of shows in the United States. Not only were we a little bit...susceptible to Earth bacteria present in the lower SE region of the United States, we were also in reaction to that in sorta our automatic defense mechanism exuding something toxic to Earth life so we had to actually play in a viral containment chamber. We did our best but there were a few leaks..."

I get the feeling from talking to these guys that they actually enjoy life here on Earth. But what about when they do find those vital parts for the ship and they depart from this planet? Will they take any of us with them so we too can experience life on other planets? "I don't know...t's going to be one of those interesting sort of things. As far as companionship and that kind of thing then maybe, possibly. Even something that you might call friends we can probably replicate and just take the replications with us. As far as taking actual humans - I guess it would be more up to the humans than up to us because, you know, we've got plenty of room if we can get the thing runningÉand of course we're very compassionate space beings in case you haven't found out yet. Despite the fact that we're conquering your planet."

Finally, I figured that since time travel is within their grasp, I'd ask our friends for some top tips for the future, just in case somebody fancied placing a bet. "You can invest in anything that has to do with Man or Astroman? because it's gonna be the only way to go. Not only will it be the only way to go - it will probably secure your place whenever we decide whatever we decide when we rule. Not only are we going to climb to the top of the Periodic Charts, but we will be in fact in charge of everything here. But it'll be a subtle takeover and you might not even notice as many differences as you would suspect. But if you stick with us you'll be in good hands."

Somehow, I don't doubt that for a second.

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