Taylor's spirits lifted greatly once he had his girlfriend back and his sickness quickly faded. As the pair showed no sign of breaking up, it had been announced officially that Taylor had a girlfriend. And although Taylor had been quite eager to release her identity, Coralee wished to remain anonymous. She didn't think the world could possibly understand her relationship with Taylor. They wouldn't feel happy for her. She would just get hated by millions of 'heart broken' Hanson fans all over the world. And for that reason, Coralee stayed as low profile as she possibly could. But since they went out together almost every day, it was unavoidable that some people would notice her hand in hand with Taylor. She had been given the evil eye many times, but then again, she had also signed autographs for people. It was a strange position to be in, but every time Coralee looked into Taylor's sapphire eyes she knew it was all worthwhile.
Christmas came and went. Coralee spent most of her time at Hanson's house, for she had never known a happier place to celebrate Christmas in her entire life. The rooms were lined with coloured lights and sparkling gold and silver tinsel. Warm and friendly Christmas music was constantly playing, occasionally accompanied by Hanson's cheerful voices. A magnificent Christmas tree stood in the main room, heavily lain with ornaments and sparkling rainbow lights. At its peak was a divine Silver Star. Taylor had assembled a piece of mistletoe in his doorway, and many a kiss was shared under its deep green leaves. Coralee's Christmas gift to Hanson was to secretly stick hundreds of glow in the dark stars on their bedroom walls and roof, which they didn't discover until they turned out the lights that night. Taylor gave Coralee a tiny silver locket, with the Hanson symbol and the words 'Lots of love, Taylor' engraved inside. Coralee and Taylor spent the last moments of Christmas day in the snow-covered tree house,
watching the crimson sun set in the pale azure sky.
One week later, they found themselves farewelling 1998 and welcoming 1999. Coralee's family had been invited to Hanson's massive New Years Eve party held at their house. And thankfully, Lleyton had been invited elsewhere, and was unable to attend. At first, Coralee didn't leave Taylor's side, since she didn't know anyone else. She met all Hanson's assorted friends, ranging in ages from 12 to 50, including managers and executives as well as Tulsa based friends, which they had made before they became stars. Midnight passed, accompanied by excited singing and streamer throwing and yelling. The dancing and eating and drinking and singing carried on late into the night, and by the time it was 6:30am, people were finally starting to leave. Coralee yawned, and gazed dreamily out the window. The sun was rising in the clear, cloudless sky. She gazed across at Taylor, lying beside her, and smiled. It was the first day of the year, and she couldn't be spending it with a more beautiful person.
Taylor sighed, and stretched lazily.
"I'm going to get a drink, ok."
"Ok." Coralee smiled.
Taylor got up and left the room. Coralee closed her eyes for a second, and when she opened them was surprised to see that someone had taken Taylor's place beside her on the couch. The boy was about 17, and he grinned.
"Hi, I'm Justin."
"Uh, hi!!" She answered. Coralee remembered seeing him earlier, the son of one of Hanson's executives. Taylor didn't know him that well.
"Did you like the party?" He asked
"Um, yeah it was cool!!"
"Your eyes are amazing."
Coralee smiled. She had 'cats eyes' tonight, and when she arrived everyone had been staring in wonder.
"Thanks."
Justin leant forward, and indicated for her to come closer.
"Come here, I wanna tell you something."
Coralee leaned in, and Justin grabbed her waist roughly. He pulled her close to him and pressed his lips to hers. Coralee squirmed in horror in his strong arms, but he held her hopelessly still. She could smell and taste the alcohol on his breath and felt so dirty and sickened that she wanted to throw up, not to mention the fact that she was scared out of her mind of what he could do to her. Then, that horrific moment was made one million times worse. Taylor opened the door. Justin pushed Coralee away in a hurry as the door opened, but Taylor had seen enough. He stood stunned in the doorway, mouth dropped open. Coralee gaped back into his hurt and confused eyes, too startled to know what to say.
Taylor shook his head in shocked disbelief, and ran from the room.
"No Tay." Coralee cried, and rushed after him.
She didn't even think about abusing Justin for what he had done. All she could think about was how much she had just hurt Taylor. She followed him to his room, where he slammed the door in her face. Coralee opened it.
"Just leave me alone." Taylor whispered, looking away from her and out the window at the stars. The stars which had betrayed him.
"Taylor, oh please it wasn't my fault." Coralee exclaimed, dropping to her knees beside him.
Taylor ran his hands through his hair in pain and confusion.
"Oh God Coree..." He cried softly, and closed his eyes.
"Taylor please listen. He grabbed me and forced his lips to mine. For goodness sake, he was still semi drunk, who knows what he would have tried to do. I like you so much Taylor and I would never…"
Coralee went to hug him, but he pushed her arm away and turned to face the window again.
"Coralee, I just... I don't know what to think."
"Oh please Taylor. I know it seems lame but you have to believe me. You know me Tay. You have to understand. I wouldn't do that to you. You mean too much to me, and…Justin was…I mean I don't even know who he is. I don't know him, but I hate him Taylor. He scared me to death and I hate him."
Taylor looked down at his feet, not daring to look into her eyes. If he did, he was scared he might not be able to handle this situation any longer.
"I just need some time to think ok?"
"Taylor please, I know what you saw but..."
"Please Coree, maybe you should just go." He said softly, pulling at his rat's tail uncomfortably.
"Oh please don't do this Tay. You have to believe me."
"I...I do, kind of. I mean...I just...look, maybe we need some time apart ok?"
"Taylor I..."
"No, just...um...I'll call you later maybe ok?"
Coralee was silent with shock.
"Um...ok." She said softly.
"Bye."
"Um, bye."
Coralee backed out of Taylor's room, grabbed her bag, and ran from the Hanson household as fast as she could, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. It was the first day of the year, and she had managed to lose the person she cared about most in her entire life.
Coralee stared at the photo of herself and Taylor blankly. The only photo she had. She gazed at their expressions, she defined every little emotion that was visible in their happy eyes. What had happened? A few mistakes. A few accidents. A few unfortunate circumstances. Why should such dodgy circumstancial incidents effect what was a perfect relationship?
"...when everything feels like the movies,
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive..."
Coralee's relationship with Taylor had dulled to almost non-existent since the New Year's eve party. They hadn't seen each other since then, and only talked on the phone a few times. Taylor was being quiet and difficult to converse with. Their phone calls only resulted in dead ends, and uncomfortable pauses, and this caused them to cease calling altogether. It had been six days since Coralee had had any contact with Taylor whatsoever, and this was hurting her beyond anything else she had ever known. The last three nights she had cried herself to sleep. Maybe she would have felt better if she'd known that Taylor had done the same.
Coralee looked up with a shock as something crashed loudly outside her bedroom door. She opened the door a crack, and peered out. Her grandfather was drunkenly making his way to the upstairs bathroom by her and Lleyton's bedrooms. Why didn't he just use the bathroom downstairs?
"Idiot." She scowled, and closed the door again.
Coralee heard the toilet flush, and moments later her door flew open. In stumbled her intoxicated grandfather.
"Oh, hello sweetie!!" He slurred.
"Get out of my room!!" Coralee growled, glaring at him.
Arthur only swayed, and pointed at a photo of Coralee and Taylor on the wall. It was the only photo she had of them together.
"Who's that weirdo?"
"That's my boyfriend, Taylor Hanson." Coralee cringed inwardly as she said 'boyfriend' and 'Taylor Hanson' in the same sentence, but continued with a hiss. "He's 15, and he's achieved more then you ever will in your entire miserable life."
With that, Arthur pulled the photo off the wall, and threw it on the ground. He began smashing and ripping the photo under his boot.
"What are you doing? Get off, get off." Coralee exclaimed in horror, and shoved him away. Arthur lost his balance, and fell to the corner of the room.
His expression changed. His eyes swelled and he gritted his rotten teeth. Coralee backed away in terror. Arthur advanced on her, grabbing her wrists. He threw her savagely to the floor.
"Help." Coralee screamed.
Arthur turned and kicked his boot savagely into Coralee's side. She let out a cry of agony.
"Don't you ever question my judgement again." He snarled, his eyes abnormally wide and bloodshot.
Coralee curled up into a ball, and began sobbing. Arthur staggered out of the room, bashing into the door, and then slamming it behind him. Coralee wanted to curl up and die. Her side throbbed and swelled and was already turning an evil shade of purple. She felt sick as she heard her grandfather stomping around the house downstairs. Nowhere was safe any more. Her grandfather would be here all night and all the next day. She was trapped in a sickening hell that was her own house. Her own house, the one place where she could usually go to get away from the rest of the world. Without that, there was nothing, because there was nowhere else to go.
Sobbing uncontrollably, she picked up the torn and crumpled photo on the floor beside her. The reality of the destroyed photo made her cry even harder. It was a precious moment in time lost forever.
"Taylor." She cried through her tears, as though he would miraculously appear come and wrap his comforting arms around her. But he hated her too. Coralee looked up at her crystal star spinning lazily on it's string, ironically taking in the sunshine and sprinkling tiny dancing rainbows over her room. It was an image of perfection in an imperfect world. Coralee's distraught sobbing calmed, and she watched as the bright colours flashed gently before her eyes.
"Taylor likes stars." Coralee whispered to herself, closing her eyes. Tears fell onto the photo in her hand.
Images of everything uniquely Taylor haunted her imagination. His fresh smell, his sparkling blue eyes, his spellbinding voice. Coralee clutched the photo, and closed her eyes to encase the tears.
"And if I should die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that everyone will be in love with night, and pay no worship to the garish sun." She whispered, and forced herself to stand unsteadily. There was still one more place she could go, and if that failed, then she truly would be alone. But there was still hope. And if there's hope, then there's no need to give up.
Coralee staggered out of her room, leaving the door open. Nothing mattered any more anyway. Lleyton was watching nervously out of his bedroom door. He had heard Coralee's cry for help, although he knew his parents couldn't from outside.
"Coral, where are you going?" He asked.
Coralee looked up, tears still clinging to her cheeks.
"Away from here." She whispered painfully, and ran for the front door as fast as she could, ignoring the stabbing, throbbing pain in her side.
Twenty minutes later, Coralee arrived at Hanson's front door. She had run the whole way, desperate emotions spurring her on. As she stopped running, the Adrenalin ceased to run, and intense pain set into her side. Exhausted and injured, mentally and physically, Coralee rang the Hanson's doorbell on the brink of tears.
The Hanson family had gone out, except for Isaac, Taylor and Zac, who were working on their music. Isaac opened the front door, and his mouth dropped in shock.
"Coralee? What happened?"
At the sight of a concerned face, tears escaped down her cheeks.
"Oh my gosh." Isaac exclaimed, and pulled her inside so he could close the door, and hugged her tight.
By this time, Zac had appeared on the scene, and was looking on in concern as he saw tears on Coralee's face. He couldn't think what could be so wrong. As soon as Isaac let her go, Zac threw himself into her arms. Coralee greatly appreciated their concern, and realised what good friends she had in the Hanson family.
"Taylor? Come here." Isaac called nervously across the house.
Taylor, hearing the tone in his brother's voice, walked briskly up from the garage and froze with what he saw. Zac heard Taylor arrive, and stepped aside. Coralee looked up into Taylor's eyes in shock, suddenly realising just how much she adored him, and needed him. For a second, Coralee and Taylor just stared at each other, taking in each other's presence in awe. Suddenly, Taylor broke his gaze and ran over to Coralee, wrapping his arms around her tightly. Coralee lost control completely, and sobbing openly in his arms. She reflexively pushed Taylor's hand away in pain as he touched her side. He looked up in confusion, unsure on what was wrong. Isaac and Zac left the room, hoping that Taylor would have the power to calm her. If he couldn't, then no one could.
"Coree what happened?" He asked, forcing her to look into his eyes. Taylor saw so much fear there that he wanted to cry. Coralee, her bottom lip trembling, lifted her T-shirt a little, showing the purple and swollen mark on her side. Taylor touched it softly in horror.
"Oh my gosh. Who did this?" His mind shifted through the possibilities. "Was it your grandfather?" Coralee nodded her head slightly. Angry tears suddenly sprung into Taylor's eyes.
"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him." He exclaimed softly, hugging her again.
"No, Tay you can't. Nobody can know about this." Coralee sobbed.
"But I can't let him do that to you." Taylor whispered, his voice wavering.
Coralee looked up into his eyes, and suddenly noticed the tears in his eyes. The fact that he cared that much about her moved her greatly. Taylor blinked hard.
"I...I love you Coralee." He said softly, desperately trying to restrain his threatening tears.
Coralee stared up into his sky blue eyes, transfixed.
"I love you too." She whispered, new tears crawling down her cheeks.
Taylor lent forward, kissing away her tears and hugging her again. Coralee held him close and closed her eyes. She had never loved anyone more then she loved Taylor at that moment. She wanted to hold him forever and never let go because if she couldn't feel his heartbeat then he was too far away.
As soon as Taylor's strong presence had calmed her tears, he began to try and work out what had happened.
"Did he hit you?"
"He kicked me."
"Why?"
"I... because I tried to shove him out of my room. He was...pulling my stuff off the walls and wrecking things. He was so drunk Tay, and…I was scared."
Taylor pulled her into a hug again.
"You can't tell anyone." Coralee cried. "You have to promise."
Taylor closed his eyes, still battling his own emotions.
"I can't let him do this to you."
"No Tay."
"Ok...I'll promise for now. But if he does it again I'm...I dunno...gonna press charges or something. Cos I am not going to stand back and watch someone hurt you. You're too special."
"No Taylor you can't." Coralee exclaimed, staring pleadingly into his emotional eyes. "Then our families will be at war and we'll be like Romeo and Juliet and we'll both end up dead."
Taylor couldn't help but smile at this analogy.
"Oh Coree, I won't let that happen." He whispered. "I promise." Taylor kissed her softly, his face pained with the overwhelming emotion of having her back again. "I have missed you so much. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. It's just that I couldn't handle seeing you with another guy. I couldn't handle losing you like that."
"I know, I'm sorry too."
"I'm never going to lose you like that again."
Coralee gazed into his adoring eyes and fell into his arms.
"I love you so much Tay." She whispered.
"Me too." Taylor smiled, knowing he had never heard sweeter words in his entire life. He kissed her, and smiled again. "Do you wanna come watch us practise?"
Coralee's face lit up. Taylor's angelic disposition scared away all the depressing emotions which had overpowered her until now. Taylor took her hand firmly and led her down to the garage, flinching as he passed a calender. How was he going to tell Coralee that he was leaving tomorrow? Sickly dread filled his heart, and he tightened his grip on Coralee's hand. Every moment from now until he left was exquisitely precious, and he was going to try his absolute best not to waste one fragment of a second. But how could he, when his heart was broken, and he was going to have to break hers?
Coralee and Taylor sat lazily in the living room, watching TV. Coralee could sense Taylor's uneasiness.
"You're being quiet Tay, what's up" Coralee asked, touching and stroking his blond hair affectionately.
"It's nothing." He said, looking down at his feet.
Coralee glanced at him suspiciously, but left him alone. Taylor glanced up, watching her expressions. He was going to have to tell her.
"Um…Coralee." Taylor said softly, his voice wavering already.
"Yeah?"
She looked up, and a lump rose in Taylor's throat. He fought tears as he considered the information he was about to deliver. Coralee sat up straighter, her face falling as she saw the pain in Taylor's eyes.
"I...we're leaving tomorrow." He said softly.
Coralee felt sick...poisoned.
"What? For how long?" She whispered, tears creeping relentlessly into her eyes.
"Four months, maybe five."
"Oh my gosh, why didn't you tell me?" Coralee cried, tears falling hopelessly from her eyes now, and she fell into his arms. Taylor squeezed his eyes shut, hugging her hard. A tear burned down his cheek and it was now taking everything in his power to stop himself from sobbing. Coralee felt like someone was driving a dagger into her heart deeper and deeper with every breath she took.
After lying in each other's arms for a minute, they drew apart, and stared into each other's eyes, unsure what to say or do. Coralee was surprised to see that she wasn't the only one who had been crying.
"Do you think we should break up?" She whispered. "You know, while you're away."
Taylor wiped his eyes on his sleeve, and shook his head indignantly.
"No, no way. I don't care any more. When I come back I'm going to be at your front doorstep before I go anywhere else. And I promise that."
Coralee shook her head slightly, staring into his heartbroken sky blue eyes.
"But five months is so long. You'll forget me and go find some other..."
Taylor kissed her before she could go any further, and gazed sadly into her eyes.
"I will never forget you." Taylor glanced down at his feet sorrowfully. "I just need to know that you won't forget me."
Coralee smiled, and fell into his arms.
"Oh Tay, I could never forget you. Unless all the stars fall from the sky I can't forget you, because every time the sun sets and I look up at the sky I see you there."
Taylor knew he was losing it.
"You know, I really don't want to go away sometimes." He whispered, looking down at his feet and trying unsuccessfully to regain control of his emotions. Coralee didn't need to say anything. She touched his shoulder, and he turned to accept her hug. Tears were still streaming down Coralee's cheeks, and as Taylor blinked, more tears squeezed from his own eyes. Taylor made a point of not letting go of her until he had stopped crying. He didn't want her to see him like that. As they let go, Coralee rested her head on Taylor's chest and Taylor wrapped his arms around her. And they stayed that way, gazing at the television. Neither payed any attention to the movie. When your soul has been ripped apart, it's too hard to pay attention on anything but each other.
But no wish in the world can ever slow down time, and so, time came for Hanson to leave. The Hanson car was bubbling with life and mayhem as it sat parked outside Coralee's house, waiting for Taylor to say goodbye. Coralee was practically in tears, whereas Taylor was amazingly composed. Coralee admired his strength, and was glad for it. The effort to be strong for Coralee and mask his despairing emotions was the hardest thing Taylor had ever done. He removed a bead from one of his ever-present necklaces, threaded it on a black cord, and tied it around her neck.
"See. This bead is mine. It had gone everywhere with me for most of my life. And now I am giving it to you. You have to promise to never, ever, take it off, ok?"
Coralee nodded, tears falling from her eyes as he spoke. Taylor hugged her one last time.
"Please don't be sad Coree. I'll be back soon. We can have a lifetime together if we want, and a lifetime is so long. We'll make up this lost time ok?"
"I love you." Coralee whispered.
Taylor bit his lip hard.
"Me too."
They pulled away for the last time, and Taylor began to back away.
"I'll see you later ok?"
"Ok."
"Goodbye Coralee."
"Goodbye Taylor."
Taylor turned, and walked back towards his car.
Coralee glanced around, her senses taking in every single detail of this scene. For she knew that she would never forget this one moment in time for as long as she lived.
The world was frozen and beautiful with the freshly fallen snow. Snowflakes covered the ground and nestled in the trees, making even the ugliest street look exquisitely magic. And there stood Taylor Hanson, an image of pure impeccable beauty. He stood still for a second, gazing at her in all his captivating glory. His silky blond hair framed his face angelically; the crimson colours of the setting sun lighting up his divine features. His spellbinding, sparkling blue eyes shone with adoring and heartbroken tears. He smiled a smile so brilliant that even the eternal stars above would pause to watch.
"I love you." He said softly, his beautiful voice ringing out like wind chimes, swirling and dancing in the cool breeze.
And then he was gone.
Coralee clutched the necklace around her neck, watching the car pull away down the road, and out of her life.
"Sometimes, when a baby is born, God sends down the angels. And they will sprinkle stardust in his hair of gold, moonlight in his eyes of blue, and he will become a fragment of heaven so fine that no one who meets him will ever, ever be the same again."
THE END
© 1997 imaginehanson@hotmail.com
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