CHAPTER EIGHT

She stared at him sitting there, his head dropped, hiding his face. Her heart was thumping.

"I can’t do this." She whispered to herself.

But despite her words, her legs took her out, and she found herself lowering herself to the pool’s edge, by his side. She looked out over the pool uneasily. It looked brilliantly inviting in the bright sunlight. Anxiously, she carefully looked over at Taylor. He hadn’t reacted to her presence. The sheer shimmering water lapped delicately at his feet, imploring him to enter its crystal depths so it may envelope him and claim him as its own. The sun’s pure golden rays were refracted and disjointed by the whirling aquamarine, sending a kaleidoscope of patterned light over the smooth concrete floor. Every now and again, a diamond of light was reflected off the surface like a fleeting star, causing the water to sparkle.

Taylor stared into the depths, his expression lifeless. His dull eyes reflected the glistening water inanimately. Shannon stared apprehensively at him, searching cautiously for the vivacious personality she had once glimpsed there. Taylor’s blankly confusing behaviour was scaring Shannon. She’d never had to deal with anyone else’s problems before. Her friends never came to her for help, and her rejection from these types of situations had taught her to avoid them. And the fact that this was ‘Taylor Hanson’ certainly did nothing for her self-belief. She looked up to him greatly, and admired him more than she could ever express. He was rich, famous, popular, confident, could have any girl he liked, and was actually a nice person…well, to her anyway. Most of Rachael’s boyfriends lacked that last trait, and that’s probably the part that Shannon admired the most in Taylor. She had never forgotten the warmness he had shown towards her, and it was that warmness that she was so uncertain of. She was in awe of him.

No one had ever paid any attention to Shannon. She was the silent girl. The forgotten one. The one who was teased and mocked. That’s the way things had always been, and Shannon was sure they would stay that way…until Taylor came along, bringing Zac with him. In some special way, deep down, he had touched her in a way that she wasn’t even fully aware of yet. Shannon had been starting to believe that if you weren’t pretty and popular you’d just wouldn’t exist. It took just one sparkling smile from Taylor to change all that. He forced her to realise that she mattered, and in some uncanny way she knew that he had changed her. That’s why, somewhere deep down, he meant so much to her. And Shannon was scared to see him like this, with nothing. It made her want to run and hide and recreate reality in her mind of the way she wanted things to be. Yet for some reason she couldn’t leave his side.

"Did you know this was happening?"

Shannon jumped a little as Taylor spoke softly, and her heart began to thump loudly in her chest.

"I…um…yeah." She replied unsurely, stumbling over her words.

She looked over at Taylor nervously. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the brightness of the swimming pool. Shannon was terrified that he thought badly of her.

"I…wanted to tell you. I really did. But….I couldn’t. Rachael…"

Taylor looked up into her eyes for a second, shaking his head a little.

"Hey, it’s not your fault. You did the right thing not to get involved."

Taylor held her stare for a moment, and then dropped his eye level back down to the sparkling water. His eyes and voice were thickly laid with emotion, and the intensity of his expression stunned Shannon for a second. But his words were kind, and comforted her shrieking conscience. Taylor spoke again.

"I had no idea this was happening. I thought she really liked me."

Shannon wasn’t sure how to react to his words, and said nothing. Her silence didn’t bother Taylor.

"I guess this means Ike and Zac and Kai were right all along about her." He said softly.

Shannon wondered who Kai was.

"They kept telling me and I just couldn’t see it. I just feel like such an idiot…"

"You’re not an idiot Taylor." Shannon stared down at her feet intently after her interruption. She hadn’t meant to say that; it just spilled from her lips naturally. She just admired him so much; she couldn’t let him call himself stupid. Taylor paused, appreciating her reassurance. It was exactly the kind of simple sincere comment that Rachael never showed him. Suddenly, everything wrong with their relationship was slowly rising to the surface, finally creeping around the barrier of love which had blinded him for so long.

"She told me she loved me." He said softly, his voice revealing his intense emotions. Shannon glanced over to see his eyes sparkling with the beginnings of tears. Her heart began to thump again and she felt sick deep in her soul. She felt helpless beside his pain, and chewed her lip in hopeless distress. Taylor felt like he was choking. He could hardly breathe, his lungs contracting in the suppression of pain. His usually high spirited soul had turned dark, and sucked in all the memories and laughter and delight of the life he had previously known and compressed it into black nothingness. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths, and regained his composure. He was too vain to cry. Shannon wanted to cry his tears for him. They remained silent for a long time. Taylor just stared painfully away into the sweet blue of the water, and Shannon sat uneasily beside him, unsure of what she should say or do. The situation appeared so fragile that she was petrified of pushing it beyond the limit.

After some time he glanced at his watch. It was 4:00. Isaac would be home.

"I have to go." He whispered.

"Ok." Shannon answered softly.

He slowly got up from the pool side and walked back into the house. Shannon followed him, watching his body language and expressions closely. He appeared to wince at her house as he entered, as if every room triggered a thousand memories of the girl he thought he loved. He picked up the phone and dialled his number.

"Hey Ike, can you come pick me up?" He asked softly. "Yeah, now. Uh huh. Um…yeah, I’m fine. No nothing’s wrong. No I…look just come get me ok? Yeah. Bye."

Taylor closed his eyes for a second as he hung up the phone. He glanced up at Shannon with a sarcastic shrug.

"‘Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine.’ Huh. Whatever."

Shannon just stared into his hurt eyes, still lost for words. In some ways, Taylor appreciated her seemingly unjudging silence.

After what seemed like hours of absolute nothingness, a familiar car horn blared outside. Isaac never came in after that night at the restaurant for fear of clashing with Rachael again. Taylor sighed and headed for the front door. Shannon followed him on habit. People had always led her around, as if she didn’t have a mind of her own. She had been brought up that way. Taylor turned to her before heading out the door for what could be the last time.

"Hey, thanks." He said softly, and hugged her gently.

A guy hadn’t hugged Shannon since Shane. Even though they’d had only gone out for a week, he’d caused her enough pain to last a lifetime. She'd never allowed another guy near her again…until Hanson came along. A hug from Shane had been but a sharp grab…but Taylor was different. Her skin was left tingling from his gentle touch and her heart was warmed by his placid, well-meaning nature. Again, she couldn’t find the words to answer him. Instead, she just gazed inquisitively at him, searching for the brightness that she could feel embedded in his flesh…but couldn’t seem to find in his sad aqua blue eyes. Isaac’s second horn blast forced Taylor to break their gaze, and he farewelled Shannon once more before closing the door on the house which he had begun to loathe.

Shannon watched from the window as he walked dejectedly towards the parked car. Ironically, it was parked in the exact same place the Karvan’s car had when Taylor ploughed into it on that fateful day. She sighed as the car pulled away out of sight. Even though she was deeply troubled by what had happened to Taylor, she couldn’t help but feel happy that fate had brought him into her life, if only for a fleeting, brief moment.

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