WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ROGER TAYLOR? by ?

Bitz can not believe it. A-fluttering through the "grapevine" are all sorts of "rumours" about Duran Duran's Roger Taylor, i.e. he's completely fed up being a pop star and has gone off to live in a field in hermit-like fashion, he's 15 1/2 stone and has grown a beard, and he's generally off his rocker in general. Well! Tring Tring TRRRING! The Bitz blower is leaping off the desk..."This is all gross exaggeration!" Gasp! It's the Duran Duran "spokesperson"!!

"Roger was very fed-up, yes, he was physically and mentally exhausted after recording the imminent Arcadia single and he needed a break."

So he has gone off to live in a field??

"No he has not. He's bought himself a farm in Gloucestershire which he's wanted to do for a long time and he's living there very quietly and adoring being off the scene for a while."

So, are all the "dairy" products the cause of his expanding girth and hairiness?

"(Fumes) I don't know where these rumours come from--it's crazy. Roger looks pretty much as he's always done."

Oh. So he's not a crazed, wife-deserting person either?

"(Gasps) Well! That's a new one on me! No he is not. He is still very much with Giovanna on the farm. He's already feeling very refreshed and the band will be meeting up again in mid-May, after Simon comes off the boat race, to start work on a new LP."

That's alright then...