50 Things About Simon from DD.com

At the studio school for drama in pinner I was taught by the wonderful Miss Hudson & the mercurial Miss Jones.

Other ex pupils from the studio school are Juliet Stephenson & Joanna Lumley.

Mr Scotney the headmaster at west lodge my primary school 1965- 1969 had the tightest trousers and Mrs Bosanquet the school secretary had the largest breasts I'd ever seen.

I used to go to mad Bess woods with my father to gather firewood on Sunday mornings.

Every lunchtime I would have a fight with either Steven Christian or John Carpenter.

I can remember one afternoon tupperware party my mum had, I must've been about 4, I spent the entire time looking up ladies skirts.

1966 we had 45's in our stockings on x-mas morning Jonathan's was "spanish fly", David got "hello goodbye" by the beatles and I got "I can see for miles" by the Who; it was the first record I ever owned.

When I was about 14 I bought my first LP -a clockwork orange- soundtrack album.

There are lots of things that no-one will ever find out about me.

My kids all prefer Duran Duran to the Spice Girls.

Smoking Kills.

Someone (me actually) once said that if you layed the entire membership of the morrisey fanclub end to end along the serpentine - they'd both sink.

The first time I met DD I was wearing black & grey striped baggy trousers.

My favourite cockney rebel lyric is "...hear their stomachs rumble,turn of yer eyes and shut the gate no-ones coming home til late".

When I came back after the 1993/4 ordinary tour - it took me two and a half years to unpack.

I was one of the last two guys in the 2nd year at Pinner county grammar school to still be wearing short trousers.

I like to try out new things.

I still cry every time I hear the the big four descending (organ chords) in Faure's Requiem.

I would quite happily live on beluga caviar.

Towards the end of his life someone interviewing Sir John Betjemen asked: "if you could live it (your life) over again , is there anything you would change?" to which from his wheelchair the poet laureate answered: "Yes... I'd have more sex".

I'll see you on the other side.

I like fine plain socks, cotton shirts & good books.

I'm not scared of the devil.

Words I overuse "somebody give me a drink".

I don't have a favorite color, if I did it would be red.

Apparently I used to be arrogant.

I know that I'm lucky!

I'm allergic to other people's pets.

I like to take a cold bath.

The men don't know but the little girls understand - favourite Doors lyric.

As usual "Piggy" in the middle.

We used to race patients on trolleys when I used to work at Northwick Park Hospital.

It's a very thin line between charisma and bullshit.

I find writing quite theraputic.

I suppose I am a tart.

I think Lara Croft is the ultimate 90's sex symbol.

I've always had a thing about ballet dancers.

With me - What you see ain't what you get.

I was born on my father's birthday.

My best revenge is best served with toasted marshmallows.

At school I was a spectacular under achiever.

I like to think of myself as a consumate unprofessional.

I've often pondered swimming with the fishies.

I can just curl up and go to sleep almost anywhere.

I love my bed - it's a big soft cloud.

My first band was called Dog Days.

Tom Mates built me a beautiful guitar.

I have only recently started to read more non-fiction.

I could go on like this forever.

If you want to know more... well, ask me!