Saturday, January 6, 2001

Justin stared at the computer in front of Stu with trepidation. Stu had the heel of his right foot resting on the desk in front of the keyboard. He was reclined in his chair and his crossed arms supported his head.

“I can’t believe you and Matt went out and got trashed without me,” Stu said with a smirk in Justin’s direction.

Justin shrugged and looked back at the computer.

“Call me next time,” Stu said. “I’ve been too tame lately.”

“It’s only been a week since New Years,” Justin said. “You weren’t tame that night.”

Stu sighed and lifted his left heel to rest beside his right one. “But when was the last time I went out before that?”

Justin turned towards his friend briefly again and shrugged.

“See,” Stu said. “I’ve been with you all the time.”

“If only the rest of the world could be so lucky,” Justin said with a weak smile. He turned fully towards Stu. “Listen, I know we agreed never to talk about—“ he paused. “Can you do me a favor?”

Stu sighed and looked at Justin deliberately. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on man,” Justin said. “It’s nothing big, I just need you to check my email for me.”

Stu stared at Justin before bringing his feet to the floor. “What?”

“I’m a whimp,” Justin said. He felt his cheeks heating slightly.

Stu scoffed. “You want me to check your email?”

Justin nodded.

“It’s your email dude,” Stu said.

“But you know some of the things I’ve found when I checked my email,” Justin said. “Come on bro. Besides, there might be a message from Britney.”

Stu sighed. “Fine.” He moved the mouse around on his computer, waking the screen. He opened the mail program and pushed the keyboard towards Justin. “You’ve got to type in your password.”

Justin fingered the keys and then pushed the keyboard back towards Stu. “There’s probably not anything,” he said, but his voice betrayed the lie it was.

“You’ve got one new message,” Stu said after a second. “Care to place any bets?”

“Only one?” Justin asked, his voice dropping. “Lance or Brit.”

There was a moment of silence as Stu opened the inbox. “And... you’re wrong,” Stu said.

Justin leaned towards the computer, forgetting he hadn’t wanted to check the mail in the first place.

“I’m going to guess that Josh means JC?” Stu said.

Justin nodded and leaned back. Why hadn’t Lance emailed him back? “Can you read it to me?”

Stu shot Justin a look and dutifully opened the email. “Hey Curly...” he read out loud. He turned to Justin. “Curly?”

Justin nodded and raised a hand to his hair. “It’s my nickname. Go on.”

Stu looked at the screen and continued reading. “I was going to write you a real chatty letter here and tell you all the small shit that's been going on around here, but Lance is on this ‘let Justin live his own life’ kick and since you seem to trust him the most out of any of us, I guess I'll follow his instinct on this.” Stu turned towards Justin.

Justin swallowed and motioned for Stu to keep reading.

“In case you're interested in what we're up to, the new video will be coming out on the 10th. I'd love it if you'd check it out. It's the song that I couldn't get quite right. I think its right now.” Stu stopped reading. “You going to check it out?”

Justin smiled weakly and shrugged. “What else?”

“We're doing tour prep now for the “We Want You Back” US Tour! Yeah! We'll be coming to a town near you. Would you believe Janet wants to open for us on a few dates? Mandy and Soul Decision and Christina all expressed interest in opening for us too. So did Brit. We've decided to accept her offer for sure since she's your friend too. It's going to be way worthwhile. We're going to make lots of money to give to runaway services.” Stu snorted. “Only in the entertainment world could one person’s personal stress be turned into a
multi-billion dollar service enterprise.”

Justin nodded. His features were looking more and more strained. “Is that it?”

“Almost,” Stu said. He scrolled down on the computer screen and cleared his throat before reading the last line of the email. “Yeah, so, hope everything's going well with you. JC. Does he always call himself JC?”

Justin shook his head. “No. We always call him Josh or Jace or something. He signed it JC?”

Stu turned to monitor towards Justin.

“Okay,” Justin said. He grinned fakely. “Thanks.”

Stu stared at his friend before smiling wickedly and punching him in the shoulder.

Justin looked up, indignant. He rubbed his shoulder. “What was that for?”

“You told me I’d get to read something Britney wrote.”

“Oh,” Justin said. He smiled for real. “Sorry. I thought she would have written back. Though with the last message I sent her, I’m not surprised I guess.”

“You got to give me the hookup man,” Stu said. “I mean its Britney Spears.”

“She’s not that great,” Justin said. “She’s just a normal girl like everyone else.”

Stu looked like he was going to comment, but decided against it. Justin was glad he did.

Wednesday, January 10, 2001

“Remind me again why you’re so excited to be watching the new ‘N SYNC video?” Maggie asked as she curled up to Justin’s side.

“Because you’re excited,” Justin said, giving his girlfriend a squeeze. “And I’m always excited when you’re excited.”

Maggie giggled and cuddled closer to Justin. “You treat me too well Randy. First you give me an autographed picture of Justin Timberlake, and then you watch the new ‘N SYNC video with me.”

Justin smiled and leaned down to kiss Maggie’s hair. “Besides, you know that I don’t think ‘N SYNC is *that* bad.”

“I know,” Maggie said. She focused her eyes on the television and sat up. “And you're that much more manly for it. I think they’re coming out.”

Justin looked at the happy expression on Maggie’s face and then followed her gaze to the TV screen.

MTV Studios, Times Square, NY

“And now, closing Times Square for the fifth straight time, here’s ‘N SYNC!” Carson said. The studio audience erupted in screams, shrieks and squeals.

JC led the four men as they ran down the aisle towards the stage, and came to a smiling halt by Carson. Chris pretended not to notice that JC had stopped and ran right into him. Joey did the same thing and Lance followed suit, setting the audience into a giggling fit.

“Whoa,” Carson said, putting a hand out to steady JC. “You guys okay?”

JC nodded, but Joey answered. “Justin goes away and our coordination goes all to heck. I guess we just aren’t in sync without him.”

“Like how you worked your name in there,” Carson said dryly.

Joey nodded with a smile. “I did too.”

Carson laughed. “Now if I understand correctly, you guys have a new video to show us today.”

“We sure do,” JC said.

“And it’s a song that’s not on ‘No Strings Attached?’” Carson asked.

Lance nodded. “Josh wrote it after Justin left. We've dubbed it Justin's song.”

“What’s it called?” Carson asked.

“Are You Gonna Be There,” JC said.

“Now, I know we’ll be seeing the video in just a minute here, but can you give me a quick little rundown of what the video’s about or the song?”

Joey, Chris and Lance all looked at JC.

“Go for it Josh,” Lance said.

“Well the song,” JC started. He ran a hand through his hair. “Well, it’s basically asking the question ‘if things go wrong in my world, will you be there?’”

“So you're basically asking Justing if he's coming back,” Carson said.

“No,” JC said quickly. “It’s more of an assurance that we’ll be here for Justin when he decides to come back. ‘N SYNC will always be here waiting for him, whether the fans want us or not.”

Shrieks erupted from the audience filled with ‘we love you guys’ and ‘we’ll always be here.’

Chris smiled and raised a hand acknowledging the girls.

“So, is this sort of like your other singing, dancing, action videos?” Carson asked. "Just with four of you?"

“No,” Lance said. “ Justin's in the video. The original idea was that the video would be sort of like BSB’s ‘The One’ with all the video clips. We decided we wanted to be in the video too though.”

"We walk around and sing and stuff," Chris said with a wide smile.

"Imagine that," Carson said. "A band singing."

"Why don't we just watch it," Joey said. "Then we can stop murdering it as we try to explain it."

Carson nodded. “Okay. We’re going to show the world premier ‘N SYNC video and then we’ll talk with the guys some more, finding out about their new tour, and giving one lucky fan the opportunity to go to the first show in Florida in a few weeks.”

“Enjoy,” JC called as the cameras began moving towards the TV sets on the stage.

“We love you Justin,” Lance said as the TV studio faded out and the TV screen faded in. The TRL ‘world premier’ intro appeared and then the screen went black, a picture fading in slowly. [To see the 'video' click here]

[The guys walk in the door of the sound stage and begin walking towards the ‘set’ for the video. There is a stage with several boxes adding height and a movie screen covering the back wall.]

[Joey]      If I was down                                                            [The camera focuses on Joey as he
                Would your arms lift me up to higher ground          walks with the rest of the guys.]
                With just the strength of your love

[Chris]     If I was lost                                                               [The camera shifts to show Chris.]
                Would I find something in your eyes to lead me home

[Lance]    And after all that long                                               [Close up of Lance]
                Would you be there to hold

[JC]         It's easy to be there through the good times              [Close-up of JC]

[Chris]     But when the times get hard                                    [Camera moves back, showing all
                Would you stay or walk away?                               the guys as they approach the set]

[All]
                Are you gonna be there when the rain comes          [The guys walk up to the stage and
                                                                                                begin walking towards one of the
                                                                                                boxes. There is a close-up of Justin’s
                                                                                                face on the movie screen.]

                Are you gonna be there with a warm touch             [The guys are surrounded by costume
               Can you say you'll be there with a real love             people. They pull off their jackets and
                                                                                                put on black ones the assistants hand
                                                                                                to them.]

                Are you gonna be there                                           [All four of them sit down on one of
                                                                                                the boxes]

                Will you stand by my side through the bad times  [Lights on the set flip off and the movie
                                                                                               screen behind them illuminates the four
                                                                                               men]

                Do whatever will be, will you still be mine            [Shots of all four men's individual faces
                Will you stay in my life for a lifetime                   fading into each other and finally into a
                Are you gonna be there                                        picture on the movie screen where the first
                                                                                              part of the IGBM video is playing (The
                                                                                              part where Justin looks up, silently
                                                                                              mouthing the words "it's gonna be me', and
                                                                                              breaks through the plastic.)]

[Joey]      When I need someone to hold                             [Fades to photograph from Rolling Stone
                 Someone there for me                                         shoot where Justin is lying across Joey's
                                                                                            lap and the rest of the guys are huddled
                                                                                             over them.]

                 Are you gonna be...                                            [moving away from the movie screen,
                                                                                             and fading into a close up of JC in front
                                                                                             of the movie screen; picture on screen
                                                                                             changes to Justin's picture from the
                                                                                             Hot 25 under 25 photo.]

[JC]         In my world                                                        [JC stands up from his place]

                If it should all fall down                                     [JC slowly starts walking away
                                                                                            from the box as the other guys
                                                                                            also get up; the photo fades into more of
                                                                                            close up of Justin.]

                Will you be there                                                [Fades to an even closer view of Justin.]

                Be there to turn it around                                   [Finishes fading.]

                Will you still care                                              [picture fades to black and white
                                                                                           photograph of the guys looking
                                                                                           happy]
 

[Lance w/echoes from other guys]

                Can I depend on you to see me through this life[Fade to Lance walking near Chris.
                                                                                          Picture in the background of Justin
                                                                                          pointing at the camera]

                And if it all goes wrong,                                    [Lance and Chris sing to one another
                will you still make it right                                  with Joey walking up to them. Fades
                                                                                           back to movie screen.]

                It's easy to be there through the good times         [Photograph of the guys at the beach taking
                Oh, when the times get hard                                  their picture.]
                Will you still be on my side

[All]

                Are you gonna be there when the rain comes

                Are you gonna be there with a warm touch     [Fades to guys standing on the stage with the
               Can you say you'll be there with a real love    camera moving around them and the movie
                Are you gonna be there                                  screen behind them. Picture of Justin and Lance
                                                                                       playing the piano at MTV’s snowed in on screen.]

                Will you stand by my side                            [Slowly the picture on the screen fades to
                through the bad times                                    a picture of 'N SYNC with puppy dogs.]
                Do whatever will be, will you still be mine

                Will you stay in my life for a lifetime           [Slowly fades to picture of Justin in ‘’N SYNC’
                                                                                       basketball jersey]

                Are you gonna be there                                [Camera focuses on the guys, but still shows
                                                                                      the movie screen]

[JC]         When I need someone beside me                 [Camera focuses on JC]
                Someone there for me
                Are you gonna be...

[Chris]     There with the arms to hold me                     [Fades to movie screen with picture of Justin and JC
                There with the love I need                             sitting on a chair.]

                Will you be there                                          [Slowly fades to close up of Justin from
                Will you be there                                          ‘Tearin’ Up My Heart’]
                Heart and soul I need to know

[Joey with JC echoes]

                Are you gonna be there
                Are you gonna still care                                 [Focuses on guys and the picture changes to one of
                Are you gonna be there                                  them all sitting on a couch. Joey and JC get
                Will you stand by my side                             very into their singing, moving around
                Are you gonna be mine                                  the stage, singing to one another, etc.]

                Are you gonna be there                                  [Fades to picture of Justin and Nick Carter
                Are you gonna be there                                  playing basketball]

[All]

                Are you gonna be there when the rain comes [Fades to movie screen with photograph of
                                                                                       Justin surrounded by cameras]

                Are you gonna be there with a warm touch     [Slowly fades to picture of Justin, JC, and
                Can you swear you'll be there with a real love Chris at an interview.]
                Are you gonna be there

                Will you stand by my side                             [Picture of guys talking to reporters
                through the bad times                                     after the court battle.]
                Do whatever will be, will you still be mine
                Will you stay in my life for a lifetime            [Fades to picture of guys acting crazy]
                Are you gonna be there

                Are you gonna be there when the rain comes [Fade to picture of the guys looking through
                Are you gonna be there with a warm touch     Chris’s legs]
                Can you swear you'll be there with a real love

                Are you gonna be there                                  [Fade to picture of Justin in the NSA costume]
                Will you stand by my side through
                the bad times

                Do whatever will be, will you still be mine     [Fade to old picture of all the guys lying on
                Will you stay in my life for a lifetime            the ground acting silly.]

                Are you gonna be there                                 [Fade to ‘Bye, Bye, Bye,’ video clip (the part
                                                                                      where Justin lands from being cut from the
                                                                                      strings, and laughs.) The laugh is heard.]

[Lance]   We’ll be here Curly.

Justin stared at the screen as the TRL cameras panned back to the audience. He swallowed harshly, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat before he had to talk to Maggie. He felt the water pooling at the bottom of his eyes.

“Oh my god,” Maggie said quietly as she continued to analyze the screen. “That was so beautiful.”

Justin couldn’t do anything but nod.

Maggie finally turned towards Justin. “I’m so glad that they’re going to keep going even without Justin. The world would just not be the same without ‘N SYNC.”

“No it wouldn’t be,” Justin whispered.

Maggie narrowed her eyes at Justin. “Is that a tear I see in your eye?”

Justin shook his head and blinked rapidly.

“It is!” Maggie said. She began laughing at Justin. “It is!”

“I’m not crying,” Justin growled.

“You are,” Maggie said. “Admit it.”

“Fine,” Justin growled. He stood up from the couch and began walking out of the den. “It moved me. You happy?”

“Randy,” Maggie called from the couch. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Justin said as he left the room, but he didn't turn around. His footfalls were heavy on the stairs and the wooden hallway to his room. He started to slam his door, but ended up closing it quietly. It wouldn’t help ease his aggression if he made the whole house shake.

He threw himself face first onto his bed and buried his head in his crossed arms. He felt a small dampness seeping from between his closed eyelids and scrubbed his face over the soft sweatshirt covering his arms.

“I’m not going to cry,” he hissed to the empty room. “It’s not something to cry over.”

He rolled over on his bed and rubbed the sweatshirt across his eyes again. He sat up and looked at his computer. There hadn’t been any new messages since Saturday, something that he tried to convince himself he didn’t care about.

He stood up and walked over to the computer gently switching it on. He looked at the screen as it booted up and mentally planned what he was going to write.

When he reached the message composition window he rested his fingers on the keys and stared at the blank document. He typed JC’s email address into the ‘To:’ window and filled in the subject line with ‘The Video.’ When he clicked in the message part of the window his fingers froze, refusing to press any keys. To admit that the video moved him would be to admit that he was more emotionally attached to the group than he wanted to let on. To say that he’d hated it, a lie, would have been a crushing blow to Josh’s ego and could possibly end the group. To keep an indifferent tone would be nearly impossible.

Slowly he pushed the ‘J’ key on the keyboard. Then the ‘o’, the ‘s’, and the ‘h.’ Then his fingers slowly pressed the keys composing his message.

 
Josh…

It was perfect.

I love you guys too.

Justin
 

There was a knocking on his door. “Randy? Can I come in?”

Justin quickly sent the message to JC and closed the laptop. “Yeah.”

The door opened and Maggie stepped into the room. She was pouting slightly. “I’m sorry about what I said.”

“It’s okay,” Justin said.

“You sure?” Maggie said. She walked over to where Justin was sitting and perched herself on his lap.

“Yes,” Justin said. “I’m sure Mags.” He placed a hand on the small of her back and began moving his fingers in small circles.

“Okay,” Maggie said. She settled her head on his shoulder. “It really was a beautiful video though.”

“Yeah,” Justin agreed, his fingers continuing their random path. His last words were said so softly, he barely heard them in his head. “It was perfect.”

The camera swung onto Carson as the video faded to black. "And that was the newest from our friends 'N SYNC. I know I never thought I'd see a video without Justin in the center of every other frame. Did you guys?"

Chris grinned evilly. "It was all part of our grand master plan. In truth, the real truth this time, we paid Justin to go into hiding so that we could do a video where the girls were oohing and ahhing over us."

Joey clamped a hand over Chris's mouth. "Dumbass, you weren't supposed to tell."

The studio audience dissolved into giggles.

"Oops," Chris said. He put a hand to his mouth, starting to mock whisper. "Don't tell, okay? And don't tell Justin. We don't want him to know our super seceret grand master plan."

"If only that were the truth," JC said with a smile. "The video turned out pretty well though, didn't it?"

JC's question was met with yells, screams, and the ususal proclamations of undying love.

"Now," Carson said after he'd quieted the crowd down slightly. "Your tour. It's kicking off on the 27th, right?"

"Sure is," Lance said.

"Now how long is this tour going to be?" Carson asked. "Are you just going to keep going until Justin comes back?"

"No," Joey said. "We're going to do about 20 shows all across the country."

"And you're starting in Florida?" Carson asked.

"Uh-huh," Lance said. "We always do our kickoff in Orlando. From there we'll be working our way across the southern US, then to California where we'll be doing two shows, and then across the northern US."

"What about the mid-west?" Carson asked. "Sounds like they'll be getting a bum deal."

"We're ending in Wichita where this whole thing began," JC said. "It just seems appropriate."

"And how long until tickets go on sale?" Carson asked. He smiled as there was a collective sigh in the audience. "You can tell what question was on everyone's mind."

"Actually," JC said. "We're not going to be selling tickets until the day of to eliminate scalpers and ebay. This is a charity tour so we want all profits off the tickets to go to charity."

"I'm sure parents are going to be hating you guys now when their daughters drag them out of bed at two a.m. so they can go get tickets."

"Parents love us," Chris said as he hugged himself. "I don't know why but they do."

"I don't know why either," Carson said with a laugh. He looked at the cue card that was frantically being waved at him. "Well, we need to go to break, so thank you guys for stopping by."

"Anytime," Lance said. He started waving at the crowd of screaming fans.

"When we return we'll have the number one most requested video and one lucky fan will have the chance to win an all expense paid, front row view of the opening concert on the 'We Want You Back!' tour."

The camera's panned away from Carson and the 'on air' sign flicked off.