~Chapter 13~ *Two days later* Even though my parents have been home I still felt unsafe there at night.  Because of this, I have stayed with A.J.  Don't get any ideas I sleep on the couch thank you very much.  We are dating and everything but we are taking it really slow.  Tonight I am even going to try and stay home for a change.  I love staying with A.J. but sometimes you just want a break from some people. I got back to A.J.'s house after a day of Christmas shopping for my family.  I put everything off until the last minute.  I dragged in three big bags full of presents that I was planning to wrap.  I heard A.J. talking when I walked in the door. "Yes we can be together tonight.  Yes I know it's been awhile.......she is going to stay at her house tonight." ~No A.J. couldn't be cheating on me  That ass hole....he better not be.  I thought he wanted to be with me.~  I kept thinking this as he continued to talk.  I got angry.  I got angry at how stupid I had been to let him get so close.  Angry at how I had trusted him so much.  I stormed off to the door and on the way knocked over the phone by accident.  I heard him hang up his phone.  I picked up my bags and walked to my car.  Let's not forget that I slammed the door to his house on the way out.  I opened the trunk and put everything back in.  A.J. came running outside before I could get to the car door. "Hey what's wrong?"  he asked stepping in front of the door. "Get out of my way."  I said as calm as I could.  He didn't move.  He looked at me like he didn't know why I was so mad. "Not until you tell me what's wrong." "Get out of my way."  I said again.  He knew I wasn't going to talk to him so he backed off.  I got into my car and drove away.,  He stood there and stared with a confused look on his face. ---------- "That doesn't sound like Bone."  Brian said after I explained what happened. "Well that's what I heard."  I said.  Brian got up and went into his room.  He was in there for awhile.  I was beginning to wonder what he was doing.  He finally came out and looked at me. "You know who he was talking to?"  he asked. "No."  I answered.  "Who?" "Stephanie.  A.J. and her used to do a lot together.  Then when you came along, he hasn't done much with her.  So she got mad and he was talking to her.  You just happened to walk in at the wrong time." I felt really stupid.  If only I wasn't so stubborn.  I just had to leave without telling him why or letting him explain himself. "I take it you were on the phone with him."  I said. "Yes I was and he didn't sound too happy either." "As in mad?" "No."  he answered.  "Just...unhappy....I don't know." "Well I guess I should go talk to him huh?" "Can't he left to go hang out with Stephanie." "Oh yeah.  Well I'm going home.  See ya later Rok."  I said. "Yeah see ya."  I walked out the door and went home.  *That Night* I stayed home the rest of the night.  Even though I was there for three hours I was going out of my mind. ~Why am I even dating him?~  I kept asking myself.  ~I know I'm not ready for a relationship.~  I was lying on my bed at the time, just thinking and trying to get everything straight.  I looked at the clock on my night stand and saw that it was 11:00. My parents were out for the night so I had no one to talk to which was driving me nuts.  I didn't want to be on the phone either. I jumped when I heard the doorbell.  I groaned and slowly went downstairs to the door. There was A.J. standing in the doorway not looking very happy.  I moved to let him inside.  He walked into the living room and sat down. "A.J. I am so sorry."  I started to say walking into the living room after him. "You shouldn't be.  I should have told you that I was going to do something with Steph in the first place.  And I should have told you who I was talking to." "Well I wouldn't have let you because I was being so damn stubborn." "Ok this was on big misunderstanding."  He got up and wrapped me in his arms, and kissed the top of my head. "A.J.?"  I started to say. "Yeah?" "I don't think we should be seeing each other anymore." ~Chapter 14~ A.J. stood back in surprise. "What?"  he asked. "You heard me A.J."  I said softly, looking at the floor. "Why, is it something I did?" "No.  I just don't think this is the right time for me to have a boyfriend.  I flipped when you were on the phone and thought you were cheating on me.  I think I need some more time so that I can learn to trust someone again." A.J. took off his sunglasses and looked into my eyes.  His eyes were full of hurt.  I felt bad for saying this to him. "But I can help you trust again.  Just give me one more chance.  Please."  he pleaded. "A.J. please don't make it harder for me than it already is." "Can we still be friends?"  he asked. "Well yeah but I don't want to see you for awhile.  It's just too hard."  I said.  Tears started rolling down my cheeks.  I couldn't believe I was saying all this.  As much as I wanted to be with him I knew I couldn't.  I still felt that I couldn't trust him, or even love him as much as he needed to be loved.  I didn't want to see him for awhile fearing that I would break down and get back together with him. "I know I may sound cold.  But you just have to understand."  I said. "I don't understand.  How can you give up so easy?" I didn't answer him.  I didn't know what to say.  He stood there and stared at him.  I couldn't look him in the eye.  "I'm sorry."  I whispered. He turned around and slowly walked to the door.  he opened it and turned once more to look at me.  I wanted to stop him from leaving.  To tell him how sorry I was and how much I really didn't want to break up.  I stood firm.  I knew it was the right thing to do.  I would have hurt him even more somewhere down the road. A.J. stood there for a minute,  and then he was gone. ~Chapter 15~ *Christmas Day* Christmas is going to be fun.  I kept telling myself as I drove down the street to Kim's house.  My parents decided to go on yet another vacation to Paris.  They invited me to come along but I decided not to.  You may think that I'm crazy for not going but I've already been there a dew times.  I wanted to spend Christmas with my friends anyway.   I have been staying away from AJ as much as I could.  I just couldn't see him.  It would be too hard.  I didn't help that he would call me everyday either.  I wouldn't pick up the phone until the answering machine picked it up.  If it wasn't A.J. I would answer it.  All of his messages were the same.  He would say that he misses me, and he will always be there for me, and that he understands about what I did.  He would also say that he really wants to talk to me and to call him.  I never returned any of his calls. Everyone supported my decision but I knew that they thought I was stupid for doing it. Even with Brian and Kevin in Lexington, everyone else would get together and go to clubs and do others things.  I didn't go.  I'm sure you would know why.  I know I am stubborn.  I am more stubborn than any of my friends.  That's just the way I am. I pulled into Kim's driveway and turned off the engine. ~I am going to have fun today.~  I thought.  ~Today is a special day and I am going to enjoy it.~ I got out and walked slowly to the door.  It was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining and there were no clouds in the sky.  I rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer it. "Hey merry Christmas."  Kim said with a big smile when she opened the door. "Merry Christmas."  I said. I walked in the house and saw Kim's parents and her brother picking up wrapping paper.  Dave (her brother) didn't look too happy since he couldn't play with all the stuff that he got.  Kim and I made our way to her room. "I talked to A.J."  she said while closing her door. "Oh really?"  I sat at her desk waiting for her to continue. "Yeah." "Well?"  I said getting impatient. "Well what?"  she asked. "What did he say?" "Nothing that concerns you......at the moment."  she said. "Kim!  Tell me please!" "He was talking about you the whole time.  I really feel sorry for him and I can't believe you have to be so damn stubborn.  Can't you at least just talk to the poor guy?"  I didn't say anything.  "Call him Tracy!"  she said giving me the phone. "What am I supposed to say to him?  Oh hi A.J. I'm sorry I hurt you and never returned your calls because I was too stubborn?"  I asked. "Well it's a good start." "Well not for me.  I just don't want to talk to him." "Tracy!!"  Kim yelled and grabed the phone from my hand and dialed a phone number. "Hi."  she said.  "Oh good you?......yeah.....I have someone that you would like to talk to here......yeah......hold on."  She threw the phone to me.  I threw it back to her. "No!"  I whispered. "Yes!"  she threw it back to me. I finally gave up and put the phone to my ear.  I heard him saying something.  I only got half of what he said. "If she doesn't want to talk to me it's ok." 'he said. "No.....I'm here."  I said.  My heart was racing.  I haven't heard his voice in so long.  I forgot how much I loved to hear it. "Oh hey."  he said.  I noticed that he didn't sound the same.  Just not happy. "Hi."  There was a long pause. "Say something!"  Kim said. "So....How are you?"  I asked. "Good."  he answered.  "You?" "I'm ok." "Sorry to cut this short but I am going to my mom's so maybe I will talk to you later.  bye." "Bye."  I hung up the phone. "That wasn't so hard now was it?" Kim asked while putting the phone back. "Yes it was." ~Chapter 16~ *3 days later at my house* "Come on Trace you have to go!  Come on please?"  Carrie begged. "Oh all right I'll go now please shut up!"  Carrie sat back in her chair and smiled. "Thank you."  she said. Carrie has been begging me to go to the New Years party that she is throwing.  Since A.J. was there she figured that I wouldn't want to go.  I didn't really care if he was going.  She wouldn't let me talk so that I could tell her that I would go.  She just sat there rambaling on about how I should go and have fun for once.  I really missed A.J.  I wanted to see him so bad.  I had began to realize how stupid I had been.  I knew what I was going to do.  And that was to get back together with him.  that is, if he will take me back. ---------- *New Years Eve* I got to the party late yet again.  I let myself into Carrie's house went down to the basement where the party was.  A lot of people from school were there along with the guys.  Most of there girls were hounding the guys.  I felt kind of sorry for them but they seemed to be enjoying themselves.  I saw A.J. with his arm around some girl.  I've seen her around school before but I didn't know her personally. ~Well good going Tracey.~  I thought.  ~You have just lost your chance to get him back.~ "Hey Tracy I'm glad you came!"  Larissa said walking over to me with Kim and Tara behind her. "Yeah well it's better than being at home."  I said.  "Who's that with A.J.?" "Haven't you seen her around school?  I think her name is Sharon."  Kim answered. "Yeah they've been hanging around each other almost the whole time."  Tara added. "Great."  I mumbled. While the other three were talking I just kept staring at A.J. and Sharon.  I deserved to see him with someone else.  At least one of us is happy.  I don't know how long I was standing there staring at him.  It must have been awhile. "Yo Tracy!  Snap out of it will ya?"  Larissa said waving her hand in front of my face. "Oh sorry."  I said. "Welcome back to Earth!"  Tara said.  "Who have you been staring at?" "A.J."  Kim said. "I was not."  I argued. "Ok Trace.  What ever you say." A.J. finally looked over in my direction and saw that I was there.  I quickly looked the other way when he saw me looking at him. "So are you two going to get back together or what?  If you don't we are going to have to lock you in a room together until you do."  Larissa said.  The other two laughed. "Well I'm hoping we will.  but I think he found someone else."  I said pointing at Sharon. "Nah she isn't his type."  Kim asured. "Besides he would drop her in a heart beat if he knew he could get back with you anyway."  Tara added. A.J. got up and started walking in our direction with Sharon not to far behind holding his hand. Chapters 17-20 Chapters 9-12 Back to Fanfic Back to Main Page