December 13 2001
Neil's other band, Beach Trains on Fridays, had their live debut (with Neil as a member) at the Carrum Primary School end of year picnic on this particular Thursday evening. 22 songs were played all up including 4 covers and 18 originals. First set started about 5:40pm after Michelle had overcome the feedback problems with the vocal mic and ended 11 songs later with Desert Plain Funk. The set break saw Santa arrive in the Carrum CFA fire truck. The second bracket contained an unscheduled break in the middle to announce the winners of the raffle (That's showbiz, folks!). Keith thought the first set was as tight as we've played but thought the second set was messy. Neil thought it all sounded OK and was impressed nobody noticed his mistakes. Michelle thought the plebs didn't pay enough attention and Allan thought it was a good idea to leave his Acoustic turned on when he had finished playing it in 'Pass' which turned out not to be (a good idea, that is). The following Tuesday saw the launch of the band's 6 track EP at Keith's house.

November 27 2001
Neil has spent the last few Saturday afternoons rehearsing for the big Beach Trains gig on December 13. Two sets comprising 21 songs are planned. Mark has finished recording four songs: In The Garden, Caviar, Let's Go! (from 1992) and his newest toon Dress Of Many Colours.

October 29 2001
With Twofold Bay going out into the 'airwaves' of Seattle, the band with guest guitarist Steve O'Dryer held their first jam since early September yesterday afternoon. It was all good fun even if the lads were rusty. Mark had raced there from his house of termites, Neil had raced to provide everyone with a wonderful homemade pizza lunch and Norm just arrived, cool as a cucumber as always. Some songs included Vicious Fish, She's An Amazon, My Momma Told Me, Do It For Me, When You're So Far Away and Nonchalant. Brown Eyed Girl and Are You Old Enough were the only covers done over.
Meanwhile Neil's live gig with Beach Trains has been postponed due to signal faults, Mark is slowly recording his 'solo album' and Norm, along with Mark, has also purchased a guitar tuner! Now there's no excuse for either of them.

October 15 2001
Whilst there have been no jams since September there has been plenty ahappening. Neil has been busy recording with Beach Trains with a holiday in Merimbula inbetween. Mark has been less busy home recording (with strange chipmunk results) with a holiday in Sydney inbetween. Norm has jammed with soul band The Luddites (a totally acoustic affair of course) inbetween all this inbetweening. Actually young Norm has gone missing yet again (oh the tribulations of being in a rock band) so if you see him please let us know.
Whilst in Sydney (a nice word 'whilst') Mark also represented the Hoikers at the ARIA awards. Actually he was staying with the missus next door to the theatre in question and saw, along with half of Scandanavia, all the big names arrive on the night: The Manly Fairies, The Dung Beetles, Dogs Ahoy, Fey Tarzan And The African Queens and Poop.
Hopefully a jam may happen soon. We'll keep you posted.

September 2 2001
Friday night saw the Tigers defeat the Bombers to clinch a top four finish heading into this year's AFL Finals. Yesterday afternoon saw the Hoikers gather for the first time since late July. Mark arrived for the occasion in a Tigers jumper with a new microphone and song 'In The Garden' in tow. Norm arrived in his usual stylish way complete with new battery and lead problems with his equipment. Neil, on the other hand, was already there, warming pies and brewing coffee.
Some songs were committed live to tape, others just committed. They were Vicious Fish, Softly, When You're So Far Away, In The Garden, Do The Grace Poole, Nonchalant, Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down and The Church's Almost With You.
Neil has continued recording and jamming with Beach Trains in between football engagements. A live intimate performance is planned soon. We await with baity breath.

July 23 2001
Carrum's answer to the Soggy Bottom Boys met yesterday for only the third time in a decade with a real live drummer, ala Allan from Neil's real band, Beach Trains On Friday.
A set list of 16 originals were played, including 4 from Neil and 2 from Norm. Unfortunately the band's attempt to commit the music live to 4-track backfired when a dodgy mike failed to pick up Allan's drums while the mix was below par even for us. Best songs included Nonchalant, Twofold Bay (with Allan on Djembe), Vicious Fish, I Don't Know, When You're So Far Away and Thirty Nine Steppes. On the other hand the version of She's An Amazon was probably the worst we've ever played and it's time that Southern Movie Show was put out to pasture permanently.
Still the afternoon was fun, Neil's pizza lunch was excellent and Allan now joins an exclusive list of Hoiker guest drummers that includes Andrew Patterson and Phil Landy. It was great to hear the band's songs with the light and shade that a real drummer can provide (and we were able to turn him off when required...unlike the legendary one of the five cent piece). The afternoon concluded with a couple of Allan's own songs including Beach Trains' It Scares Me. Impressive stuff.

July 7 2001
On a night when Norm's battery for his effects pedal was still in his smoke detector, the lads got together for their first Friday night jam since Neil joined a real band earlier in the year. Few originals were covered (When You're So Far Away, Southern Movie Show and North To Alaska) before Greg arrived, spectacles in hand, for a night of re-inventing or more aptly destroying some of the classic songs of our time. For example, The Easybeats' Friday On My Mind, voted the greatest Australian song ever, was mauled without mercy, the lead into the chorus akin to The Portsmouth Sinfonia no less. Then there were other ditties, introduced for the first time to the repetoire (boys!): Creedence's Susie Q, Fairport Covention's Gone Gone Gone, Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire and Neil Diamond's Solitary Man. Just who suggested this material I won't say.
Meanwhile Neil is still jamming with Last Train To Nowhere and has been recording with them. The Hoikers have also recently gone 24-track and Neil's When You're So Far Away is the first song given the new expanded track treatment.

June 10 2001
A Saturday morning/early afternoon jam was held yesterday at the usual haunt. Covers included Ed Kuepper's The Way I Made You Feel, China Crisis' Black Man Ray, The Church's Under The Milky Way and Van the Man's Brown Eyed Girl while originals included Dunbar, Caviar, When You're So Far Away, Nonchalant, A Word Is Enough To The Wise and Vicious Fish. Quite a few feedback problems were had but that's probably par for the course.
Meanwhile Neil has been recording 'guide tracks' with Beach Trains etc and there is some talk of making a video.
Finally I would like to mention that the Tigers thumped Carlton at the 'G today. Go Tigers!

April 29 2001
The lads left their usual bungalow studio to play indoors today for their first Sunday jam probably ever. With the sun shining on a wonderful late autumn day, the band played originals I Don't Know, I'm Not Sure and I'm Very Confused, new instrumental Twofold Bay, Nonchalant, Dunbar, Softly, Muttonbird On Your Breath, My Momma Told Me and a tear jerker finale in A Word Is Enough To The Wise (well the dog howled anyway). Only the T.Rex classic Children of The Revolution and I Can See Clearly Now (My Brain Has Gone) were the only covers performed.
Great homemade pizza was cooked by our own Naked Chef Neil and the Guinness went down a treat. Meanwhile Neil had his second jam with Bleached Trains On Byways and next Friday a live recording is planned.

April 14 2001
Neil has had his first jam with his second combo, Beach Trains On Friday, a four piece band with a female singer. Meanwhile last night Neil and Mark put down onto 4-track a new instrumental of Mark's entitled Twofold Bay. The lads were very happy with the recording and it has been formatted to mp3 status to be included either on this page or Neil's at www.listen.to/thebernards.

April 1 2001
Saturday afternoon jam at Neil's yesterday. Mainly originals including My Momma Told Me, When You're So Far Away, Vicious Fish, I Don't Know and Dorothy Parker Said. Neil branching out into additional band project, possibly leading to some recording and live performances with local combo Sunday Train To Nowhere (or something like that - will confirm band name later).

March 17 2001
Acknowledged as a 'seer' for correctly predicting that both Ponting and M.Waugh would make ducks against the Indians, Mark arrived at last night's jam to again meet up with Neil, armed with his new Cort Acoustic guitar, Norm with his dicky knee and Greg without his glasses (his eyes had been alright for the last two days).
Originals included newies Caviar and When You're So Far Away (later sung as well by Greg), Vicious Fish (in memory of the cafe now closed) and Dunbar. With Greg the Hoikers played Mark's Collision Girl, the Easybeats' Friday On My Mind and CCR's Bad Moon Rising and Proud Mary amongst many others. The band finished off with all on acoustics with Greg on bass playing A Word Is Enough To The Wise.
The Hoikers play Cort, Maton and Fender acoustic guitars. Anyone want to sponsor us?

February 17 2001
Three new songs were introduced at last night's jam: two by Mark, Sunday Roast and Caviar (his first in over a year!) and a new rollicking one by Neil called When You're So Far Away. Norm had a bad cold and was nearly quarantined by the others. He looks run down, poor lad.
Other original songs bashed about the head included She's An Amazon, I Don't Know, Vicious Fish, She's Oh So Nonchalant, Softly, Nostradamus And The Bug Eye From Outer Space, Cross My Heart, North To Alaska and Muttonbird On Your Breath. Not a non-original in sight though Mark is working on Suzie Q.

January 20 2001
Well the Flab Four got together for their first jam of the year last night. Already a monolith has appeared outside the Thorp Residence (or is it all in the mind) and he's been advising friends not to throw any bones up into the air.
Apart from that we have to say the band looked a mite tired. Neil had been working late, Mark had been working and Norm, well he was just tired.
Before Greg arrived the lads ran through Vicious Fish, Dunbar, She's An Amazon and I Don't Know. Covers with Greg included a coupla old newies Bad Moon Rising and House Of The Rising Sun, plus others such as Cum On Feel The Noize, Substitute, Dragon's Are You Old Enough, Get It On, Rockin' In The Free World (with Greg on bass) and I Should Have Known Better.
The warm evening music-a-thon was sprinkled with Cascade, Chips and Chocolate (the three C's) along with timely advice on how to pick up a six-pack, disciplining a wayward kitten and cooking a good Sunday Roast for the bloke. Indeed these lads are not just beer-addled yobbos. They're warm sensitive new age guys! You betcha!