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1. DUBYA DECLARES WAR!
This wasn't my dream, it was Kar's, but my brain's been in a slump, and this is the funniest premise for a dream I've ever heard. Here's the dream: George Dubya Bush declared war on China because he couldn't pronounce the word "xenophobic"... Enough said.
2. BRYAN HAS A CHILD!
For some reason, my friend Kaila was pregnant with me and my friend's baby. Yes, two fathers. When the baby was born, not only was he able to talk and walk, but he was half black! The doctors described him as having the mind and body of a thirteen year old. He was the smartest newborn ever! We sat around wondering how the baby could be black since we are all white. Then, my brain suddenly realized that a baby cannot have two fathers, so my friend was dropped from the picture. Meanwhile, our little new-born son (who also looked just like Miguel Jones) was off causing mischief all over the dining hall of my college. That was the end.
3. SLEEP PARALYSIS HALLUCINATION!
Basically, sleep paralysis is a condition where you cannot move but you are awake. This happens when your body messes up and for some reason, a chemical released during REM (dream sleep) is in your system/put into your system when you are still awake. This chemical makes it so you cannot move, cause otherwise you'd be moving too much in your sleep! Well, I had sleep paralysis while trying to nap one time! When you get it, you also tend to hallucinate. Some people think they've been abducted by aliens when it happens. I didn't have aliens, just two girls were in my room talking to me. Pretty cool!
4. BILL PARCELLS??!?!!
Ok, this is bizzare. I am playing in a football game on my old high school's football field. For no reason at all, Bill Parcells is the coach! I got taken out, and me and my friend Brian started talking about the game and how we did. Then, Bill himself comes up to us. He asks me how I did. Apparantly, he was too busy being pissed off at the team to have seen my performance! I tell him I did ok. He kinda goes off, all mad, saying something like "It's all worthless!!!" We try to cheer him up, but it doesn't help. Suddenly, we are in his house. Out of nowhere, he suggests that I have sex with his wife! So, his wife comes home, and they go upstairs to change. Just as his wife comes back down and starts making her move (she was kinda pretty in the actual dream) the dream ends.
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