| Thursday, January
27th, 2000
2231 Tori Amos Under the Pink ICQ: Jenn F. Well, it's begun. Taped to my desk where I can easily see it is the premise and brief bio on my two main characters. Creativity once more rears it's oftentimes ugly head and has set the cogs to churning. Let's just hope they don't slip aagain as they are so often wont to do. I don't really know how long it'll end up, if it goes that far...but I can think of plenty ways to extend a short little vignent into a powerful novel about the human condition... My biggest problem writing is always at naggin little devil constantly screaming "TRITE!" or "CLICHÉ!" or "ALREADY and BETTER WRITTEN!" etc. etc. Well i just hafta find a way to both appease him and pin his tail with that freaking little pitchfork of his... OK, so have I waxed metaphorical enough for the evening or what? Oh it just feels so good to have a concrete idea again...and this little premise and the subsequent outline--i'm writing *smarter* not harder this time. Basically it just means I have no excuses to bail.
Work...ahh yes, we had work today. No PT, work call at 1000 hours, but even still the days had its up and downs...the downs being a forced realization that I neglected to maek a few copies I really ought to have made...getting me a stern reprimand from a Captain... It's not really *that* big a deal as there is only one piece of paper that cannot be procured from SGT Phelps' files...but even still...I felt small. Then there was the sidpers system being, finally gone back up but tossing my login and password aside like a raggity ann doll...oh damn there I go again, my bad... Then there was the way CPT Maansi and SGT Phelps basically took over the article 15 reading on Perez and made me feel small by such matters...I really got the feeling as if it woulda been better had I not been there...showing up about five minutes after I'd told SGT Phelps i would (so we could all conference) didn't help much... but the soldier elected to forgo her right to consult with JAG about article 15 and so we finished it all up today...i think the punishment was WAY too light given the soldiers prior history...but it's not my call...CPT Mansi was put in a rough place--having *just* taken command he hasn't had a chance to know Perez personally...CPT Snow kind of just dropped this in his lap. It will be the same with Schrek next week... But I got various paperwork accomplished, did eventually get into sidpers to do flagging actions, chewed the shit with Mig for a bit...and now I'm listening to Tori and drinking some Earl Grey as a nice little relaxation...I guess it could be better if Beal and Riley were'nt watching a movie that I could hear through my headphones...i just don't want to turn up tori to drown it out... Tommorrow is scheduled to be a normal work day--PT formation and everything. I swear I've begun to feel spoiled with all the dasy oof as of late--it makes me lazy and un-motivated. I thought briefly of Rebecca yesterday...how I'll never know anything more than know now...how it is, of course, better that way, as I planned it to be, as I thought I wanted it to be. It was sparked by the Bobn and Sheri show on the radio yesterday morning--they had this guy on the phone, a 41 year old virgin from the Northeast...they were discussing how he was emotional immature and not fully developed because of his lack of intimate relationships and this and that...and it got me thinking about myself...I learned some things about myself, about how *not* be too so clingy when I finally meet someone--the importance of keeping an arms length away at times... And hey, three three-hour-shifts...i finished Tropic of Cancer. Good read. While reading it, I often recalled Neils sitting there, that tall, lanky farmboy looking man with his huge, spiny fingers, reading a little at a time at our colege dormitory. He was good man...couldn't hurt a fly. "It's funny the things you find in the (snow)"
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