I can't get over that I don't belong here, that two years here will seem an eternity, that I ought to be back in the states, _now_, and through with all this Army stuff as well.  I also am a little scared.  Here, the necessity of friends is staggering, and me, so overwhelmed w/ difficutly making friends.

I've been able to proceed alone so far -- even traveling from the Osaka Airport to Naha & then here -- showing up, virtually unnannounced at the 1st/1st compund, the "Box".

My blue walled room feels so barren & lifeless ->I have nothing to adorn it, no furniture of my own, no posters or computer or anything really to say "Hi!".  Even my bedspread is borrowed.

I went for a walk yesterday with no destination in mind really, but I came upon sigsn to Zakina Castel Ruins Park, so I went there.  It was unspectactular really, but a piece of some history I don't know.  I found a loose stoen in the wall, and, my curiousity piqued, pulled it out to reveal a small picture tied into a ribboned sheath.  The picture seemd an xray photo - a glowing orb resting in a hand maybe.  I debated whether to keep it, but a voice in my mind hinted that it might be some sort of "offering" to an ancestor or diety, so I replaced it as the rain began.  I wonder if my actions in removing that item caused the train.  It is one puzzle for me to look into.

I read _A Thousand Acres_ today -- just about the whole thing -- I started it on the airline I think...but as I knew would happen, I've finished it long b4 time for bed & now have hours to kill w/ nothing I really yearn to do...I shoulg go into the dayroom where ppl may be playing pool -- be social & such, I suppose.

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