There will be no better opportunity in my life to do this, so the $3-$400 dollars for class fees, necessary gear to buy and some to rent...who cares? Money has never been a barrier to my leading a full and rewarding life. This opportunity essentially landed in my lap and I'd be a fool to pass on it. At nearly every turn in my life, such experiences have come to me. I have never really had to work for them. I truly feel blessed.

So, scuba diving...it's an entire unexplored world as of yet. When I was younger, I had this huge fear of sharks. Now I entertain to enter their realm. The fear is no more...

SO...even if I hate it (which I really can't see happening) at least I can say I've tried it.

I have lived a full third of my life by my 75 year reckoning...and I have no regrets on anything. That is key. I have never said no to something new because of fear, insecurity, or...

I am happy with how my life has unfolded so far. Where I've been, who I've met, and what I've done...I've never had to glorify anything...the glory is already there. 

So if I sound a little...cocky? arrogant? why the fuck do I care? I'm proud of my life and I'm not ashamed to say that. 

It took my father 50 years to understand my philosophy of pursuing your goals, dreams, and living the life you want to lead. He worked so hard, for so long...he forgot what he was working for. It broke him down. He became almost impossible to be around or to have dealings with. After my uncle John died last year though...it all changed. The idea sunk in that the "some day" might never come if he didn't work toward it. In this regard, I am proud and happy for him. I am thankful for his work ethics and his scrimping and saving with my mother so that my sister and I could have the life we have. 

In other non related news...Becca emailed me a joke the other day. So much for my romantic notions of her death.

Work...at this office atm...today is the first day I've been to my office. My alter ego got back from vacation and since there's no need for both of us in the office, particually since there is next to nothing to do right now, we kind of played tag team this week. I hadn't planned on coming in today either, actually...but the people up the street i sort of work with had a little carrot cake/birthday thing for myself and a couple other ppl with recent bdays. It would have been a shitty day to sight see anyway, with it raining and all... 

current mood:  accomplished
current music: Launchcast...currently playing Staind "It's Been a While" 
 

taliana 
2001-08-03 10:48 (link)  
I'm going to have to work real hard to become more like this. I fear all things new...change...and as a result I often don't try things that I want to. Gotta conquer that fear... :) 

Hope you have a wonderful birthday! Enjoy the scuba-diving class!! 

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