Faces from a past I've left behind
Haunt me now and again as I sit,
Thousands of miles from home,
Lifetimes from the source of pain.

They whisper to me when I'm alone,
When the lights are out and my world is still,
Begging me to regret, to return,
To rebuild a demo'd bridge.

A child grown into a woman
Teases me by candlelight,
And stabs me in my consciousness 
When I lay awake at 3am.

She was a rose I sheltered
Against a cloud and a storm 
And the reign that she had made...
Only to turn my back for "cause".

I used her like a reason
To leave behind myself.
I never said goodbye, 
Nor shed a single tear.

--------------------

"It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone." Author unknown 

current mood:  sad
current music: Enya _A Day Without Rain_ 

taliana 
2002-02-04 22:50  
I feel like I can relate to this...at least how I interpret it. 

*hugs* 

rainingvodka 
2002-02-05 04:43 
thanks. 

leaving Becca behind is probably as close to a regret as I have... 

... 

hey where is your journal at now-a-days? I lost the address...

taliana 
2002-02-05 08:22 
Is Becca unavailable? Do you know where she is? Maybe you should give her a call... 

My journal is now at http://taliana1.diaryland.com
 
rainingvodka 
2002-02-06 00:53 
Actually I have her email address...she contacted me about six months ago and in a bit of weakness I exchanged a few emails with her. 

She doesn't want to forget me...I want to forget her.
 
taliana 
2002-02-06 14:15 
Ahh..I misunderstood. My bad. 

I often think about how I'd like to forget as well...but then realize there were a lot of good times as well...things that I would hate to forget. So even though it is at times painful, I'll continue to remember. 

Hope you are able to find some peace soon.
  
rainingvodka 
2002-02-06 15:09 
No worries. 

I know what you mean about the good memories...those make it hard. I decided a long time ago that Becca was best left in the past, however. It's a piece of emotional baggage I'll probably be stuck with for the better portion of my life...and I've resigned myself to that. That's why she creeps up in my journal every now and again. 

Thanks for the support though. I hope you are feeling better by now btw! (and a little suggestion...everytime I feel trapped, I find a spontaneous weekend road trip does wonders for my soul...)  
 

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