sacajawea (167 kilobytes) - This song was written by Bill, but I take credit for the music (thank you very much). We originally tried to think up an ugly girl's name, and the first thing that popped in Billy's mind was Sacajawea, the Sioux indian woman. I hope no Native Americans get offended because it really doesn't mean anything. Here you get a first impression of Kent's backup vocals when he sings "Sacajawea!" Not bad hmm? Just you wait. (click here to keep the song)

my mommie is a commie (125 kilobytes) - This is just a joke song about some mom being a Communist. It's one of those songs that don't have no meaning. Not as if any of our songs do or anything. It's cool cause "mom" jokes kick ass. It was composed by Bill, because he's such a Communist. Oh yeah, this song has no relation to the Automatics song "Mommy is a Commie." In fact we wrote this song even before we knew the Automatics even existed! So there. (click here to keep the song)

my girlfriend doesn't like star trek (225 kilobytes) - Attention all girls that dream of dating the Smurfs band members: you better like Star Trek or else we'll dump you in two seconds. A lotta poops think of this song as the one "chris sang well in."  Great.  Lyrics and music by Bill - who else? (click here to keep the song)

bloody monday (167 kilobytes) - Don't let the stupid title draw you away from this song. It rules. Why? Simple, cause I wrote it. Duh! The lyrics are stupid, but the music is rockin. It's just about some guy who keeps getting beat up by his ex-girlfriend. Punk rock. (click here to keep the song)

i wanna kill alex trebek - The first song in our album that wasn't posted up on the Internet. Does that mean it sucks? Of course not! It's just that it's not one of our best songs, although I really like it. It's catchy, simple, and dorky - the perfect Smurfs formula. The only problem is that it should've been called I Wanna Kill Pat Sajak, cause I hate him more. Words and music by Bill.

i wanna be a gangsta - I don't know where Billy got the inspiration to write this song, because for I know there aren't any gangstas or gangsta-wannabes (same thing?) where we hung out in Korea! Duh, all I know is that he did it in 20th Century History class and he rushed up to me (I was in my favorite class in the world: Economics) to show me what he wrote. It was really cool, because we were all excited about it. He takes credit for everything, the music and the lyrics. It's about some guy who wants to drink fourties and become a gangsta and in the end he wets his pants.  All right!

she farts (162 kilobytes) - Billy wrote the lyrics, I wrote the music, and I can't tell which one is better, cause frankly they're both perfect. Heh heh. It's about a guy who's dating a girl who's perfect in every way, except she farts like crazy and for some weirdo reason he doesn't like it. Whatta loser! FARTING KICKS ASS - duh.  Plus it's funny when you do it someone's face to wake him/her up. (click here to keep the song)

i wanna be abducted by space aliens (119 kilobytes) - This is one of our "hardcore" songs and we really rip up the place with this. After listening to this, you'll want to be abducted by space aliens too! The screams and whoas that follow the singing are all premiere works of art. And plus you'll notice an Assorted Jellybeans-ska-ish thing here by the way I read - er, I mean sing the vocals. Billy wrote the lyrics and the music.  One of my favorite songs in the world. (click here to keep the song)

i wish i was in the world wrestling federation (190 kilobytes) - This is another song that illustrates one of our hobbies, watching WWF and dreaming of being in the ring and getting the crap beat out of us. Wouldn't that be so cool? Anyway the song itself is awesome and the lyrics are cool as well, curtesy of Billy. (click here to keep the song)

xena, warrior princess (221 kilobytes) - Everytime I hear this song I feel sad because it didn't come out so well recording-wise. That has to do with a number of things, well, actually the primary reason is because Kent's backups are so loud and so SUCKY! There, I had to get that out of my system. But don't fret because Kent is also very aware of this and he probably gets more pissed off about it than me. The song is awesome though. We put it up on the Internet because it still is one of our best songs. Don't be put off by the loud backup vocals, listen to the cool lyric tune, and the guitar solo and the awesome claps. Billy wrote the lyrics and I wrote the music. (click here to keep the song)

i wanna be david hasselhoff (176 kilobytes) - Ho hum, another stupid song by Billy...wait a minute! This song kicks some serious booty because both Billy and I sing on it. There was no way I could sustain my voice at that pitch for the entire song so Billy offered to sing the second verse and chorus, and we'd both sing the breakdown. As it turned out, this was an awesome idea cuz the song came out damn near perfect. The intro to the song is annoying and surfish and the solo is kakaphonic, but that's just part of our charm. (click here to keep the song)

because i love her - This is one of the few songs I wrote completely. Actually I began writing the lyrics to this an hour before we recorded so the lyrics are kinda sappy and unoriginal. We didn't have time to incorporate any dorkyness into it, but that doesn't matter because I think the melody is still catchy as heck. For some odd reason when we recorded it it was Kent's least favorite song, and now he likes it more than I do.

girl scout cookies - This is the song Sassy wrote all by himself, and we originally meant it to sound like Sicko. I guess something happened and it turned out like this. Anyway, he's somewhat embarassed with this song, but I like it cause it's fun to play, short, and cause girl scout cookies taste good.  oh yeah, not thin mints.

call me up - This is probably our slowest song. That's not a good thing, cuz slow songs tend to suck. If we played this song twice as fast it would probably sound better, but it's too late for that. This is the first song I ever wrote. The lyrics suck my dong. So what, I don't care. Anyway Billy hates this song with a passion, but that's only because he's jealous I wrote it and not him.

evil girls - Wowzers this song came out like shit.  hey it ain't so bad after you listen to it the billionth time though.  it would be nice if we could remake the song and do it a little justice, cos it has a lot of potential.

alien nation - Kent's other song. So he wrote a total of 2 songs. Wow. He'll make up for this by writing 90% of the songs off the new demo.  Not a bad song though, and I screwed up the guitar solo. The lyrics to this song are pretty crazy, for example: "eating mozzarella cheese is how I breathe". Whateva! At any rate, this is my mom's favorite song on our tape, so you better like it.

if my name was dick butkas (132 kilobytes) - Easily our dorkiest song on the tape. This song was fun fun fun! We let go of all of our inhibitions while we were doing the vocals. Even Timmy joined in for the fun. And it was done in one take, obviously. It wouldn't have been nearly as cool if it wasn't recorded on one take. This is Billy's song, of course. But if you listen to it carefully you'll see that the chord progressions for this song are the same as the chord progressions for I Wanna Kill Alex Trebek and he wrote that song too. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not.  The big debate is whether to rerecord this or not, cause I think it's cool mostly because of the performance.  If we did it again, we'd lose out on the whole spontenayity of it. (click here to keep the song)

tina - Aw fuk.  jeez o pees, i don't know why i wrote this song, and i really don't know why the other smurfs decided to keep it.  i guess it sounded okay the first time, but goodness gracious this song is incurable.  do me a favor and skip it every time please?

my life is just so lame - Our last song, and what a great way to end a great demo. Plus it's one of the four songs we never practiced before our recording (the other 3 are I Wanna Kill Alex Trebek, I Wanna Be David Hasselhoff, and If My Name Was Dick Butkas). Anyway, I wrote this song too, the lyrics and the music. If you can't understand the lyrics it's just about this guy who wishes he was Darth Vader's son cause then he'd get a light saber of his own and be famous and stuff. Dorky as butt eh? And before we play this song, you get to hear the smurfs off the set - all right! First it's me trying to teach the song to Kent and Bill, and Tim's being a dufusbrain. Then you get to listen to Act 1 of the Billy vs. Tim Show, where they entertain you with silly, well-rehearsed lines, and then the song begins.
 

    -Go Metric by Mike from Egghead and the Kung Fu Monkeys
 

I liked the tape quite a bit. The Turdz are the band closest to you. Keep the songs short ...and go into a good studio for 2 self-released 7".
    -Tim from Mutant Pop
 

i love your nintendo not you (264 kilobytes) - this song is cool cos it's kinda different from most other smurfs songs.  it sounds more like a screeching weasel song really, and that just shows how much we've developed.  yea right.  maturity sucks!  we don't wanna be all artsy-fartsy now, we just wanna keep it simple.  this song may be kinda complicated, but it's still one of our best songs.  if you don't believe me listen to it - awesome lyrics about mega man, final fantasy 2 (which sucked by the way) and chun li.  written by kent. (click here to keep the song)

i'm stupid but you're french (146 kilobytes) - yeah!  i love our first three songs!  this song is also great, even though it's totally racist.  kent, you bastard.  but i'm telling you, you gotta love it cos it's funny and it's catchy.  sorry if we really did offend anyone.  oh yeah, that's me on the cool backups. (click here to keep the song)

my girlfriend's a quadriplegic (245 kilobytes) - damn, the list keeps going on and on.  another one of kent's mean songs that pick on other people.  was this guy a fucking bully as a kid or what?  more great lyrics, another rad tune.  i remember we had to record the vocals like 8 times before everyone had to leave the room but me and kent, cause the backups "oh yeah?  yeah!" in the middle of "i think she's really neat but she can't move her feet" was making kent laugh like crazy.  damn that must've killed his voice. (click here to keep the song)

she's playing jedi mind tricks on me - another song by kent!  shit he went all out.  and it's kinda weird too, cause there's all these odd pauses.  truly one of the most unique songs by the smurfs.  and, naturally, it kicks some serious tushy, so you gotta like it.  dig those crazy backups. (click here to keep the song)

only wanna be with you - okay, the next two songs are also written by kent.  what an animal!  nice, short n sweet.  sorry we had to fuck it up for everyone by laughing.  but hey, aren't you glad we didn't do another take and make it sound fake?  no...

my girlfriend dumped me on jerry (234 kilobytes) - wow, the first time i heard this song i knew it was gonna be awesome.  shit was i right.  lemme just say, we used kent's songs in this demo for a reason.  actually the reason was because he was the only one that wrote songs, but that's not what i'm trying to say here.  the song rules okay?  listen to it. (click here to keep the song)

i hate you (134 kilobytes) - yeah, the one song i wrote.  is it awesome?  is it funny and cool and everything?  well, actually i don't like the song too much, but kent and bill say it's cool, so i'm happy with that.  to be honest, i don't the song deserves the rad title.  i should've kept "i hate you" for a better song.  at least i got to sing. (click here to keep the song)

free cable (195 kilobytes) - all right, this songs's okay.  we fucked up in the instruments, so that's why it sounds all funky in the second verse.  not a bad song really, but the solo i put in there SUCKS to put it lightly.  this is g thang part 2.  maybe we can redo this song and make it better.  the cool backups were tim's idea.  thanks timmy.  oh yeah, written by kent. (click here to keep the song)

wait for you - hmmmm...the worst smurfs song ever?  that's okay if i rag on this song, cause kent hates it too.  by the way, he wrote this.  it's not really a bad song or anything, it's just that this is our one serious song.  shit, and i thought we could get away with not writing anything serious.  what were you thinking kent?!

sign my guestbook - hey this song's pretty funny and unique too with the funny guitar riff.  you gotta listen to it.  maybe not our best, but it's not bad.  kent was originally supposed to sing during the bridge but insted chose not to cos he was tired.  dumb animal noises were substituted in its place.

oprah goes godzilla (171 kilobytes) - another funny & good song by kent.  so what if we fucked up on the backups a little bit, but being off-time is supposed to be punk rock right?  i think that intro with the bass and then the guitar and drums following it is cool.  yeah. (click here to keep the song)

skippy hippy (245 kilobytes) - all right maybe this song could've come out better.  there's always a few songs that come out like shit that we don't redo, and this is one of them.  actually, this is the only one i think on this demo.  i'm happy i got to sing again, but when kent and i sing together on the chorus or whatever, it sounds really really bad, like we're off-key, off-time and everything.  it's not even funny.  okay, it's pretty funny, but embarassing as hell.  this is written by scottie ramone of the retreads - i think he sings it best to tell you the truth. (click here to keep the song)

porno mom - pretty funny song.  i like the porn tape titles, like face-sitter number 3.  well, that's the only one.  not the greatest song but it doesn't suck as hard as some of the shit i listen to daily.  kent wrote this.

smurfgasms - dumb title i guess - sorry cos i think i came up with it.  but hey, this song is cool just to listen to a few times.  after that it gets real annoying.  we did a true hardcore song finally.  timmy does the deep hardcore vocals and i do the crazy deathmetal high vocals.  shit when i heard it i couldn't believe my voice could do that.  amazing.  and we had fun messin around with the instruments, trying to keep up with miles.  he had more fun than anyone else.  uh, who wrote this?  i don't remember.

every little thing (215 kilobytes) - yeah!  a great song to end the demo.  this is another one of my favorite smurfs songs, and dammit, you're gonna like it too.  listen to it for pete's sake.  kent's masterpiece. (click here to keep the song)
 

smurfin usa & attack of the smurflings
 

The Smurfs-Smurfin' USA/Attack Of The Smurflings demo
These two demos combined feature 36 songs, that's a good thing. Still, the best
thing about this is the actual songs. I love this band!!! These songs are short and
fast pop-punk songs(a la The Automatics). The songs are catchy and fast. The song
titles were great, too. Such as "I Wanna Be David Hasselhoff", "If my name Was
Dick Butkas", and the famous "I wanna Kill Alex Trebek". Get this!!!
Best Song(s)-Sacajawea, She Farts, etc.

    -by Mike Flak from Insert Clever Title Here website
 

Thanks for the CD. It was cool.
    -by Jesse K. from the Automatics

we're the smurfs (127 kilobytes) - yeah this is us at our very first recording, maybe a couple weeks after starting the band.

sacajawea (174 kilobytes) - damn the bass is loud for this one.  listen how i try to do the backups and main vocals at the very end - it's kinda sad.

my mommie is a commie (136 kilobytes) - i kinda like this version cos i get the guitar solo right this time.

call me up (247 kilobytes) - the songs sucks, but i think i like this version better.  the guitar solo is supreme!

girl scout cookies (112 kilobytes) - ug, the song still sucks.  bigtime.

i wanna be a gangsta (186 kilobytes) - i don't know what to say, other than the fact that i never learned the lyrics to this until the very day we were recording smurfin usa.

cover girl (208 kilobytes) - this, my friends, the cover girl song by none other than NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!!!!  aaaaaahhh!  i always kinda liked this song, even when the new kids were popular and everyone wanted to kill them, i was just too chicken to tell anyone about it.  oh yeah, i never got the lyrics to this song either.