We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Well, how about some "ass cons"? Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_._) a flat ass

(_*_) a sore ass

(_!__) a lop-sided ass

(_O_) an ass that's been done even more than richard simmons' ass!

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_o^o_) a wise ass

(_13_) an unlucky ass

(_$_) a rich ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass