In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T. on the job please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list and our managers are specially skilled at seeing that you get all of the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed on DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since out managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore and are full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in job training others. We can add you to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have any further questions please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

THANK YOU

BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)