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Hello. Well I've just made an extraordinary trip to the Brass And Related Alloys Metallurgical Institute.

Brass.

Yes I'm sure all of us have some Brass objects in the places we live and work. But what do we really know about it?

Brass and Related Alloys Metallurgical Institute

Here at the Brass and Related Alloys Metallurgical Institute some of the nation's finest minds are working to improve brass, no matter how slightly, without regard for personal boredom or safety.

These people are heroes, and ultimately their efforts will mean a rise in the quality of the very brass that we encounter in daily life.

During my visit I talked with Barry Hill. Barry has been with the B.A.R.A.M.I. for ten years.

Colin: Barry, why Brass?

Barry: An aptitude test at school showed I was best suited to working with Brass.

Colin: And what exactly is Brass.

Barry: Well it's a bit complicated really, perhaps I could explain by first introducing the concept. . . .

At this point we were interrupted by a siren.

Barry: Sorry, we'll have to gather at the emergency muster station.

It was all too exciting. My first visit to a Brass research facility and already a Brass emergency!

Barry: (to passing Brass Techician) What's happened?

Brass Tech.: One of the junior technicians has whipped up a particuarly vicious batch of brass, and it's got out.

Barry: Oh, well we'd best go and stand by the emergency muster point and wait for further instruction.

And that's what we did. We stood by the emergency muster station, while other Brass professionals went in and isolated the escaped Brass. The whole facility was closed down for the remainder of the day so I was unable to complete my tour.

However Barry was able to persuade security to let me in to take a look at the Brass that had caused all the trouble. It was suprisingly inert looking, still twitching a little bit, hard to imagine that this particular alloy had caused mass evacuation only half an hour before.

I tried to photograph it, but my camera was taken away. Apparently this kind of rogue alloy is not uncommon, but they're still sensitive to adverse publicity.