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Colin's School of Razing, Burning, Looting, Raping, and Pillaging.

Introduction

Congratulations on your choice of this text book. I have developed the material over the course of ten years teaching at Colin's School of Razing, Burning, Looting, Raping, and Pillaging. While much is at a basic level there will be information that is new to people at all levels of the industry. I wish you luck with your future endeavours.

Razing

Through years of daily contact with the medium, through spending hours each day conciously and critically observing, the professional develops a razing technique. He becomes aware of subtleties and nuances that differentiate a merely competent from a masterful raze.

No book can replace years spent levelling buildings to the ground and it is intended that this book be used in conjunction with extensive practical study.

The tools for razing continue to improve, and it is now easier to acquire the basic skills but this does not obviate the need for a well trainer razer.

Techniques

Historically razing was not a priority for invaders when they violated small communites. Raping and looting had precedence and thus the techniques have been long established. It was not uncommon to burn the buildings and then leave. This is known as an implicit raze and is not often used today except when a paramilitary defence encroaches.

So antiquity left a vacuum of razing techniques and it was not until the 1850's that Francis Phillip Walker took it further. He saw the inefficiency of the implicit raze and devoted his life to developing new methods. He was also the first to model and quantify razing.

His first improvement was to assign a small party of men to razing duty. They used horses and ropes to pull down stubborn constructions and attacked foundations with axes and explosives. A good razing party could level any house but it was time consuming and labour intensive. Further advancement involved the use of more explosives. In 1875 he conceived of an engine of destruction. This was a mobile steam powered carriage with an enormous steel and concrete wheel capable of crushing hitherto unrazable materials. To Walker's lasting shame and chagrin, this invention was appropriated by the construction industry. But this did not detract from its ferocious effectiveness in levelling buildings.

Todays razing methods are simply refinements and combinations of Francis Phillip Walker's original methods. His methods are known as active or explicit razing and are further divided broadly into party razing (men with tools) and motor razing (large destruction machinery).

Measurement

Francis Phillip Walker invented his razing measurement in the absence of any existing system and we still use his system today. His system is based on a few assumptions about the ideal raze. The perfect raze would be exactly level with the ground. In practise this is impossible as the building would have to be spread infinitely thinly. Some work has been done in this direction, but the average field professional will accept a Q factor of 5 Francis.....











Well that was a teaser for Colin's new textbook, it sounds positively ripping, and you can order it direct from the Weasel Brothers.








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