I wonder more about the groups we never got to hear. The Mynah Birds, for example. This was an R&B band in Toronto in the 60s, led by none other than Rick James and Neil Young. Seriously. Gawd, what I’d give for a tape of that. Probably none exists--if it did, nobody could have kept it under lock and key this long. We’ll know for sure when Neil is gone, whenever that might be; he keeps an extensive archive labeled, numbered and sorted chronologically. This is to make things easy as possible, just in case he might have to land on water someday. I hope it never comes to that, of course, but if there was a Mynah Birds tape locked in his vault then maybe it could fly away at last.

Lothar & The Hand People’s take on affirmative action led to another level entirely--five white males and one machine. In the spirit of the times, they submerged their petty human egos for the common good, and gave star billing to the droid. No other band ever featured a non-human member who attained such a lofty status. Not until the dread 80s dawned, there emerged--Echo and the Bunnymen, whose first indie EP featured the wittily percussive stylings of...Echo, of course. Their ratty little drum machine. (They used to play entire gigs with Echo, but only until they found a suitable human. People used to come to their shows “out of pity.” You could read about it. In truth, you just have.) The closest parallel might be the Buffalo Bills, who sentimentalize all the fans at Rich Stadium as “The 12th Man” on the team, but the theremin by any other name is still an electronic doodad, a metal rod that makes funny noises as you wave your arms around it. It was a primitive synthesizer, to be sure, and it has teen appeal, but that isn’t necessarily enough to sustain a band.

What did sustain this band, besides the funny noises? Those helped, and I’d be the last person to dis funny noises, but their songwriting skills were imposing as well. It’s a shame they indulged in a few lame R&B covers (which probably worked fine in concert), at the expense of their own material, but when their manager heard some of the stuff they were coming up with he probably bit right through that stogie of his. Maybe somebody can explain to me why things like “Bye Bye Love” and the “Woody Woodpecker” theme made it to their first album while there were three non-LP singles and B-sides that didn’t? To make matters worse, there was a Capitol reissue that chopped the Introducing album down to about 25 minutes. What were they thinking? It wasn’t until 1994, when One Way Records put out the complete album and filled up the CD with the extra 45s, that this part of their history was rescued from total obscurity. Their second LP, Space Hymn, languishes to this day, although much of it can be found on a British anthology. Whoever controls their publishing is obviously too much of a control freak for anybody’s good.

What kind of material were they doing that somebody could be so leery of releasing it even today? Nothing to be that worried about, just some damn good songs, a sense of fun, and (inevitably, with Lothar bleeping and tinkling away) arrangements that were inherently wild and crazy. These guys predated even Tonto’s Expanding Headband, they achieved the first use of synthesizers by a viable rock band for anything more than window dressing. Beach Boys devotees claim that the use of the theremin in “Good Vibrations” cast such a long shadow that nobody else in rock wanted to touch the thing, but such claims only hold water with other Beach Boys fans. The fact of the matter is that the Hand People not only used Lothar, they used him effectively, and they used him as if “Good Vibrations” had never even existed. He was as fully-integrated into the ensemble as the amplified jug of the 13th Floor Elevators, filling a somewhat similar role musically. If anybody, it was the Beach Boys who exploited the theremin for gimmickry, since after that one tune (and “Wild Honey” in ’68) it was never heard from again.

So it was the Hand People who did most of the pioneering here, in terms of a rock band using a synthesizer fulltime. You could go back another year or so to the Silver Apples, but the Silver Apples were crap. All they had was drums, incredibly primitive keyboardless synths that only went dingdingdingding, and chantlike vocals that could never coalesce into anything resembling a song. They were ahead of their time--a direct precursor to a lot of “minimalist” early-80s stuff like Young Marble Giants and Cabaret Voltaire. The Cars’ keyboardist liked them, too. But those bands put out some interesting stuff, whereas the Silver Apples didn’t. (Though there was one tune on their second album that gets points for incorporating a banjo! Avant-garde banjo at that, it didn’t even sound out of place.) It’s a pity; they were onto something but they couldn’t carry it through. As for Tonto, they were onto it, carried it through, and then stopped. As for Lothar, more of the same, but Tonto was all-synth and no vocals while these guys were a band, so they win the Golden Diode.

As gran’pappy used to say, they don’t write songs like these anymore. Not too many people could write them even back then. “Ha-Ho” was lyrically and musically worthy of Syd Barrett (who was just leaving the Floyd at the time, it’s doubtful that the Hand People ever heard him), even if you could never slip it anywhere into the Piper album. (“I get so mad I want to laugh/I laugh so hard I want to cry/Anger makes us sad, you see but it’s/Really all the same to me.”) “Machines” featured mechanistic sound effects that presaged Floyd’s “Money” as well as robot rhythms that anticipated the entire schtick of Gary Numan and early Ultravox (I’m told the track was a big influence on Devo as well).

However, Lothar + the People were more lighthearted and simply fun than any of the above (with the possible exception of Syd’s Floyd). Even when they got ominous (“Today Is Only Yesterday’s Tomorrow”) there was still a mischievous, adventurous streak to them. Nobody who’s ever heard “It Comes On Anyhow” will ever forget it--it’s a “sound collage” number a la “Revolution 9.” Which is not to say it didn’t have hooks (and to have hooks in a piece like this is quite an achievement), most notably the robot voices that would filter in and out of the mix, chanting “...it does-n’t mat-ter, it does-n’t mat-ter, it does-n’t matter, it does-n’t...” Then we hit one point where everything drifts down to a drone and a few basso profundo monks singing “Ommmm.... Ommmmmm.... Ommmmmmmmm....” which continues just long enough to lull you into the proper state if you’re at all attuned. At just the right moment--snip!--the tape splices into “...does-n’t mat-ter, it does-n’t mat-ter, it does-n’t matter...” How’s that for sacrilege? Except it wasn’t, really. Only a neophyte could get worked up over something like that; a true master would just giggle and note that “it really doesn’t,” and resume the chant.

This band believed so fervently in altered states that they did their utmost to share them even with people who weren’t doing the drugs. Their finest achievement was the final album’s final cut, “Space Hymn,” which was exactly that. With the possible exception of Ultimate Spinach, no psychedelic band ever closed the door on their career with such class. Innovations? No-one had ever attempted anything like this before (and if they do now, they call it New Age): Droning, lethargic, haunting, yearning sounds suck you in for a minute or two, and then the spoken vocal begins...and (particularly if you’re listening lysergically, as most of their fans were), you’re halfway there before you realize that this is no mere poem being recited. You’re breathing deeply, visualizing oneness with the universe, every part of your body feels wonderful, so very, very relaxed...it’s a hypnotic induction!! You’re being escorted to the Level Above Human. And a very professional job of it too, I hope the guy still makes a good living as a hypnotist because he could and should. After you’ve assumed the position, lost among the stars, the singing commences, and the song carries you ever further, further, further away.................