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Lesson of the day!!

Most Important Lesson during my second month of graduate school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke.

I had seen the cleaner woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last Question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello'." "I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Second Important Lesson

Pickup in the Rain One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing

on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her; generally unheard of in those conflict filled 1960s.The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,

Mrs. Nat King Cole.

Third Important Lesson

Always remember those who serve you. In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" He asked.” Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.” Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Fourth Important Lesson

The Obstacle in Our Path In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear. But none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Fifth Important Lesson

Giving When it Counts Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz, who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her.." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as everyone did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. You see understanding and attitude, after all, is everything.

Manage Your Anger

Dr. Timothy Foster, in his book "How to Deal With Depression" (Victor Books, 1984) states that grief, guilt and rejection make up only 20 percent of all depressions. Not feeling anger accounts for the other 80 percent.

People who put a lid on their anger allow it to build up within them like steam in a pressure cooker. As Dr. Timothy says, " If you don't have a pressure release valve, you're going to have a tremendous buildup of pressure inside, resulting in an emotional explosion, implosion, or a breakdown of some kind."

We all experience anger. It could be something a co-worker or boss did or didn't do or something we did ourselves. But we should have an outlet for that anger. And it could be simply recognizing that we are upset and expressing it verbally. Dr. Foster relates his own method that seems to work for both him and his patients.

If he comes home from the office in a bad mood, he knows he is going to be critical and easily irritated. So rather than letting the emotion build up and erupt, he allows it to come out in a controlled manner by expressing it verbally to his family. E.g., "I'm feeling crabby. It's not your fault. It's mine. I walked in the door this way. So, watch out for me for a little while and I'll work on it." He claims that within 5 or 10 minutes of expressing the emotion, it's gone.

This is not too different from one of the accepted ways of relieving stress -- talking aloud to yourself. The sound of your own voice, combined with the release of expressing your feelings (such as, "I feel stressful") prevents the stress from becoming bottled up inside you. It has the added advantage, however, of letting other people in on your emotions so they won't be surprised by a sudden outburst.

What we must do is manage our anger. And managing our anger does not involve either letting it fester and swell inside us or releasing it with a vengeance. It involves recognizing that we are angry or upset and dealing with our feelings sensibly. Having angry feelings is okay. It's our response to those feelings that makes the difference. Anger is usually accompanied by thoughts of how to get even. It can motivate a person to hate, tease, humiliate, criticize or offend another person. Don't let your "okay" feeling elicit a "not okay" response.

Instead, after you have recognized that you feel angry or upset, talk it out. Initially this talk should be with yourself. Admit to yourself that you are angry, not because of what someone did or said, but because of how you reacted to what they did or said. Accept the fact that no person can make you angry, or happy or sad. People cannot manufacture an emotion inside another person. You are the only one who has the power to form an emotion within yourself. And similarly you are the only one who can dissipate Ask yourself what effect the person's remark or act will have on your life. How will your financial, personal, and business status be changed? How important will the incident be one year from now?

This will put things in perspective, and generally reduce the remark or act that angered you to one of insignificance.

Next, confront the individual. Tell him or her that you feel angry, or hurt or annoyed over their remark or act. Explain why. You may be surprised at the response. You may find that you misinterpreted their remark or misunderstood the reason for their action. Or perhaps they already regret it because they had acted without thinking or were responding emotionally themselves and welcome this opportunity to apologize.

Don't strike back in blind fury, and don't let the emotion fester inside you. Talk it over with yourself first, and the offender second. And do this quickly. The Bible tells us "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." Good advice for anyone.