From Within

Reflections mirrored from within
shadowed from my heart
Looking back over time
a battlefield of scars ~
Waves that flood emotions
deep into my soul
Seeing heartache at the hands
as eternity unfolds.

A neverending depth of hurt
swallowed me within
So much that I could not escape
the peril I was in ~
A destructive cycle on a path
to put me in the place
Where I wouldn't be a burden
in a martyrdom of haste.

From within the shadows
I watched my life go by
As my dreams then disappeared
I no longer could rely ~
On the trust I had depended
in the face of complacency
For it had never mattered
when all that was left was me.

Memories that had faded
wounds that healed in time
Jaded fragments of a pain
suppressed within my mind ~
Then by the hand I trusted
with vehemence and distaste
Emotions that came flooding back
as this torment takes its place.

Deep within the heartache
of emotional overload
Words spat in spiteful rage
hurts more than one could know ~
A spirit crushed by anger
with refusal to accept
A peaceful resolution
in a show of their respect.

It doesn't make a difference
what one's age or race
For abuse does not discriminate
with dominance in place ~
There's no degree to measure
the depth of unjust pain,
For emotional or physical
it all hurts just the same.

From within in the shadows
that reflect my battle scars
I move on toward tomorrow
and leave you where you are ~
For I cannot deal with something
that keeps inflicting pain
For if you were truly sorry
you would not do it again.

So from within the mirror
I see looking back at me
A reflection of a promise
of the truth eternally ~
No more jaded heartaches
or illusions from within,
As today I bid to thee farewell
and welcome life again!

"The pain of abuse, with the moving on and growing from it as well. This is a personal reflection of a time in my life that was brought to reality once again through the actions of someone else, intentional or not. The things I had put to rest in my mind and heart came to life through words of hurt and emotional injecture. It is a poem about a journey, though it reflects the limits of self-worth and self-confidence felt, despite the circumstances I climb my mountains and move on and beyond, even if the people who inflicted those hurts refuses to accept or acknowledge any part or damage they did indeed cause. It about me moving beyond the pains of emotional and physical abuse, both of which I am survivor, and learning to accept myself despite the illusions of untruth I had been made to believe. Defined by words such as maltreatment, misuse, reproach, defamation, dishonour, disrespect, mistreat, damage, reviling, aspersion, desecration, invective, insult, outrage, profanation, perversion, upbraiding, disparagement, misapply, hurt, harm, injure, scold, berate and belittle, abuse doesn't discriminate....it can affect anyone at anytime. Don't let it be you."