Nowhere to Run

Let me out of here
Out of this hell called life
It's a prison full of shame
And worthlessness
I'm trapped
I'm isolated
I'm alone
There's nothing left inside of me
But the terrifying emptiness
My innocence stolen
In a moment
I can never regain
This loneliness of shame
Has lost me inside myself
Where am I?
What am I doing?
Where am I going?
What's left for me to continue
In this painful world
There is no love
There is no happiness
There is no compassion
Nor understanding
This is a cruel world -
I'm isolated
Trapped in despondency
Lost in confusion
Helpless, worthless, useless
Let me out of this hell
Bound by the chains
Of rejection
Of shame
Of hurt
Of anger....
Left with nowhere to run
....or hide....

"I had debated whether or not to include this poem on this site, since it is such a dark and depressing poem. Then I thought that like my other poetry, there are people who have lived through this just as I have, and they can relate to how I felt when I wrote this poem. Admittedly, it was an emotionally darkand draining time for me, and anyone who was around me then, which I can assure you wasn't many. People don't know how to react to these kind of situations where someone breaks down and completely falls apart as I did. Though it didn't hit me initally after it happened, one day I woke up after my boyfriend had broken up with me, my best friend had gotten engaged and no one believed me when I told them what had happened to me. It was then I fell apart....some months later. And it continued for a very long time. I had escaped it for a while when I tried to solve my issues by getting married. Unfortunately those issues followed me where e ver I went, including into my marriage. Though my husband knew, he didn't really understand. When I left him after physical, mental, emotional and psychological abuse at his hands, the depression I had suffered three years before resurfaced. And I spiraled downward again. Now 11 years after the initial issue, I have realed I have continued to carry it with me since. Including into my second marriage. Though this time of my life seems like the dark and distant past, those feelings are still so vivid now as they were back when I had written this poem, and others just like it. I thought I had nowhere to run, because I had no one to listen to me and how I felt about what had happened. At least that is how I felt. Abandoned and alone. But I came to realise that I'm not. So many others out there know the feelings I experienced and they are familiar with the pain. And I'm sure at some point in their lives, they too felt like they had nowehere to run."