Ramalinga Raju Jokes

1. Mr. Ramalinga Raju's Life in Jail

Reports have come in that Raju had 20 Idalee for breakfast, five plates of rice and a bucket of Rasam for lunch and 25 Chapaatee with two chickens for dinner. But the jail superintendent says these numbers are inflated. "You see, the habit is so deeply ingrained in Raju that he automatically inflates all figures," he added.

Giving advice to Jail Superintendent
Even the jail superintendent says he is extremely happy with Raju. "He is a financial genius," he exclaimed. He said Raju had outlined a scheme that could save the jail a huge amount of money. "Raju explained that all I needed to do was to allow the inmates to choose their own guards. He said these guards would cost a fraction of the current salary being paid to jail warders. I was a little hesitant about prisoners choosing their own jailers at first, but relented when Raju said that it was exactly the same thing with companies when "they all appoint their own auditors and nobody complains."

Raju our inspiration
By all accounts, Ramalinga Raju is having a rollicking time in Chanchalguda jail in Hyderabad. His popularity among the inmates, all of whom are in awe of a man who can make Rs 7,000 Crore disappear, knows no bounds. "Some of us affectionately call him by his nickname Scamalinga," said a petty thief, "But most just call him Gurudev."

Now on to speculations
Others say Raju is exploring a lucrative option in a related field. "He's thinking of becoming a god man," said a source, "Which is why he is reading religious books." Some also say that Raju is being paid a fat advance for a novel based on his Satyam swindle. "It's clear he has plenty of experience of writing fiction," pointed out a publisher.

2. The Greatest Magician (funny)

Three world famous magicians were in the bar drinking and boasting about their achievements.

The first one said," During my latest show, I made three women from the audience disappear, it was so convincing that their relatives started panicking, no one could find the trick"

The second one said, " Hey, that is nothing, during one of my open air shows I made the Municipality building disappear and the entire town was searching for it"

The third one sighed and said," Both of you are so local, I went to Paris and made the Eiffel Tower disappear for a full one hour, it was live on the TV, entire France was searching for the building and no one had a clue".

Just then an Indian walked into the bar and the three magicians suddenly turned quiet, gave each other furtive glances and started to slip towards the door. A Bartender watching this got curious and asked one of the magicians, "Hey what happened ? Who is that guy?"

One of the magicians whispered, "He is the World's greatest magician, he has done the biggest disappearing trick of all times, we are all mere amateurs compared with what he has done. His name is Ramalinga Raju. He has made US$ 1.5 billion disappear from his
company's balance sheet in front of everyone's eyes, and the entire world is still looking for it.