| You'll never get to heaven Oh, you can't get to heaven (Oh, you can't to heaven) On roller skates. (On roller skates.) You'll roll right by (You'll roll right by) Those pearly gates. (Those pearly gates.) Oh, you can't get to heaven on roller skates. You'll roll right by those pearly gates. I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more. I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more. I ain't a-gonna drink, smoke, swear, I ain't a-gonna, you wouldn't dare! I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more. Oh, you can't get to heaven in a limousine 'Cause the Lord don't sell no gasoline. You'll never get to heaven on a Boy Scout's knee, 'Cos a Boy Sscout's knee is too hairy! (Scouts sing....on a Girl Guide's knee...too wobbly)!! You'll never get to heaven in dirty jeans, 'Cos the Lord don't have no washing machines. You'll never get to heaven on a ping pong ball 'Cos a ping pong ball is far too small You'll never get to Heaven in [someone's name]'s car 'Cos [someone's name]'s car won't get that far! You'll never get to Heaven with a dog as a pet 'Cos the Lord ain't got no lamp posts yet! You'll never get to heaven in a jumbo jet 'Cos the Lord ain't got no runways yet! You'll never get to heaven in a bottle of gin 'Cos the Lord won't let no spirits in! You'll never get to heaven in a bottle of whisky 'Cos the Lord don't like his angels frisky! If you get there before I do Just dig a hole and pull me through. If I get there before you do I'll dig a hole and spit on you! Oh you'll never get to heaven in a baked bean tin 'Cos a baked bean tin 'sgot baked beans in! |