| Goodbye - Chapter 7 |
| Leighanne sat staring out the window of the bed and breakfast that Brian had put her and her parents in for the few nights they were in Lexington. Leighanne had her own suite overlooking the beautiful forest nearby. She wasn’t sure why she was still awake at midnight even though she had to get up as soon as the sun came up the next morning. ‘Probably just wedding jitters’ she repeatedly told herself trying everything possible to invite sleep. As she sat there on the window seat staring out into the clear night sky, she realized that something was just not right. There had to be something else that she was missing. She decided it was most likely how Brian had behaved at the rehearsal dinner that evening, looking as if he was in deep thought throughout the dinner, and not focusing on her or the approaching wedding. Something was on his mind and it was bothering him. This bothered her and she hoped it wasn’t anything she had done. He had seemed somewhat distant the last few weeks, although she chalked it up mostly to their hectic schedules. Both of them were trying to maintain their professional lives with juggling the final plans for the wedding. Here we are playin' those games/Well I'm runnin' outta patience/And I can't stand the strain/Seems like nothin' ever changes/So I'm gettin' out fast/Darlin' our future is a thing of the past Yet Leighanne saw something different in Brian’s eyes…especially after Nick gave his speech. Brian had been honest with Leighanne since the beginning of their relationship; well at least as honest as he could be. He had told her that Nick and he had become very close and had experimented. Leighanne completely understood, knowing that two curious teenage boys that are around each other so much could definitely have questions. Brian promised Leighanne at the beginning of their relationship that if any of his feelings ever returned or if anything was wrong in their relationship he would tell her. She promised the same and that is what had led them both to where they were, the night before promising themselves to each other forever. Leighanne loved that they were friends above anything else, they could tell each other everything, and that is exactly why she was so worried. She knew it was too late to call him at home; she wouldn’t want to wake his parents so she reached for the phone and started to dial his cell phone number when she heard a knock at the door. A part of her hoped it was him, but another wanted to run away, hoping that if it was him, that what he had to say wouldn’t change everything. Brian took a deep breath before knocking on the door. He felt as if he was in a dream, just going through the actions. He reached his hand up and slowly hit the door with his hand, the sound pounding through his brain as he heard Leighanne walk towards the door and finally, after what seemed hours, opened it. She stood before him, wearing only a pair of gray sweatpants and a white tank top, her hair loose and flowing around her shoulders. Brian remarked at how incredibly beautiful she was as she quickly wrapped her arms around her fiancé, holding him close. “I’m so glad you came” she said before pulling away and leading him into the room. “ I thought you would be upset… I mean since it’s the night before the wedding and everything.” Brian said quickly, trying to gather his thoughts. “No, sweety, I’m not upset at all, I was just worried about you…you seemed a little distant tonight.” She said as they sat down on the edge of the nearby bed. Brian looked into the eyes of his friend, his fiancée. He had no idea how he was going to tell her, how he was going to walk away from her. He pictured Nick that night at the dinner, the pain and suffering in his eyes and the feeling that Brian got when he realized that Nick was the one that truly made him happy and how much he had missed him. Brian reached for Leighanne’s hand and held it tightly has he started, his voice shaking. “ You’re right baby, there is something I need to talk to you about. Tonight, something happened…something that has been on my mind for a long time now, something that won’t leave me…I…” Brian’s heart was beating so fast he thought it would soon leave his body, he was sure Leighanne could feel his sweaty palms and he felt as if he was going to pass out. He forced himself on, knowing what he had to do. I tried to leave you so many times/Was it hope or was it weakness/That made me so blind/Don't go promisin' and dreamin'/When you know it won't last/Darlin' our future is a thing of the past/Hey when it was good it was great/And when it got bad it was too late/The story's really sad ain't it “Leighanne, you know how much I love you, but I can’t marry you.” Brian saw the tears that immediately formed in her eyes as she leapt from the bed and stormed across the room to the window. “ You what? I …you can’t??? But it’s…it’s tomorrow!” she said loudly, not caring if she woke up the entire house not to mention her parents. “Leigh…I’m sorry…I.” Leighanne turned around slowly to face the deceptive man before her. Tears streamed down her flushed face as she stared him straight in the eye. “ Why?” she asked, sadness and anger filling her voice. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He answered quietly, afraid of her reaction. “DON”T WANT TO HURT ME??!?!” she screamed. “ Then what the HELL do you call this? I love you Brian…I thought you loved me…” she sobbed as her body collapsed onto the ground. Her mind was spinning and this nightmare seemed all too real. “I can’t make a promise that I can’t keep…I love you too much for that Leigh.” Brian felt tears welling up in his eyes as he watched his former love fall to the ground. He wanted to approach her, hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright, but he knew that she wouldn’t let him any closer. There was a horrible silence in the room, the only sounds were the muffled cries of Leighanne. She finally spoke “ What are we going to do? Everything is planned, set…I can’t…” “My mom is already leaving messages, phoning everyone…This is my fault Leighanne…I never should have…” “ Let me fall in love with you?” she asked raising her bloodshot eyes to meet his own. He couldn’t stand to see the pain that he had once more inflicted on someone that he loved. Brian stood up and walked slowly over to where she was crouched on the floor. He knelt before her and softly said, “ No matter how much you hate me now or forever, always know that I did love you Leighanne, and that is exactly why I couldn’t marry you.” Brian turned and headed for the door when he heard her softly say, “ It’s Nick…” She looked up at Brian to see him stop in his footsteps. He paused, looked at the floor and then continued to the door that he closed behind him as he walked out of her life. Goodbye I won't sit here and cry/Goodbye I really mean it this time *************** |