| I Will Always Love You- Chapter 8 (cont) |
| So goodbye please don't cry /We both know I'm not what you /You need Nick stood at the end of the balcony, looking out onto the water has tears openly flowed down his flushed cheeks. His heart ached at the thought of their young yet intense love, and as the song continued, the hurt remained, reminding him of why he was in so much pain. His hands gripped the balcony railing tightly as he remembered the horrible night when Brian destroyed their perfect world. *** Flashback*** You used to tell me we'd run away together /Love gives you the right to be free /You said be patient, just wait a little longer /But that's just an old fantasy /I've got to get ready, just a few minutes more /Gonna get that old feeling when you walk through that door/ For tonight is the night, for feeling alright /We'll be making love the whole night through /So I'm saving all my love /Yes I'm saving all my love /Yes I'm saving all my love for you Nick finished lightly the candles in his first floor bedroom, and sat down on the bed nervously awaiting Brian’s arrival. He wanted everything to be perfect for the night he had been waiting over a year for. It was his 18th birthday and he and Brian promised each other that they would wait till he was 18 to give themselves to each other. Nick had wanted it sooner, but he realized that it had made their foreplay even more enticing. He couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate his birthday and become a “man” than to be with the one man than he loved more than anything else in the world. Nick had been slightly upset lately, as Brian would spend time with Leighanne, a woman he had met on one of their video shoots. Brian had repeatedly told him that she was just a friend and that if they didn’t want anyone questioning either one of their sexuality that one of them should be hanging out with someone else, preferably a girl. Nick understood and they had even hung out together a few times. Brian constantly reassured Nick’s fears, knowing that his insecurities could get the best of him at times. Nick kept replaying the last words he had heard from Brian over the phone only hours before “ I’ll see you in a little bit then baby?” Nick said eagerly. “Yeah Nicky, it’s going to be a very important night for both of us.” “Yes it is…” Nick said seductively. “I’ll see you soon Nick…I love you.” Brian said with the utmost sincerity, his voice almost cracking with emotion. Nick’s stomach heart warmed every time Brian told him how much he loved him. It was as if he confirmed their relationship and love every time he spoke those few words. The candles were lit, the room smelled of sweet incense and the bed was covered in fresh bedding and scattered rose petals. Nick wore his favorite jeans and a black turtleneck sweater that Brian had bought him for his birthday. He made sure all the necessities were in the nearby nightstand and sprayed a few more spritzes of cologne as he heard his doorbell ring. His heart jumped and Nick wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans as he approached the door. He opened it and beheld his angel, dressed in jeans, and an off-white turtleneck, his hair glowing in the porch light. Brian smiled nervously as he saw his best friend standing before him. His heart beat fast as he walked into Nick’s home, instantly smelling the scent coming from the nearby bedroom. He nearly burst into tears at the thought of what was going to happen that night. Brian suddenly felt Nick’s body pressed closely behind his own. “ You look so hot baby…” Nick said seductively as he slipped his mouth around Brian’s earlobe, sucking on it gently. Brian moaned at the touch and forced himself not to react. Nick was going to make this harder than he thought it would be. “Close your eyes and come with me.” Nick said as he gripped onto Brian’s hand and led him to the nearby room. “But…Nick…I…” “Shhh….” Nick said as they entered the room. They stopped and Brian opened his eyes to behold the beautiful room. There were at least 50 candles lighting the room, rose petals on the bed, and the window was open revealing the breathtaking night sky hovering above the dark ocean. Brian nearly burst into tears at the sight. He had no idea where he would find the courage to do what he needed to, but he realized then that he needed to get it over with before the night when any further. “Nicky, please, I need to talk to you, it’s important.” Brian said, gazing into Nick’s beautiful blue eyes. Nick could see the emotion in Brian’s eyes and led him to the bed where they sat down facing each other. Brian grasped Nick’s hands and held them tightly. “I love you Nick…I love you so much.” “I love you too baby.” Nick said smiling at his lover. Brian felt the tears welling up in his eyes as he saw the love in Nick’s eyes. He forced himself to smile and then looked back down at their hands gripping tightly together. “And that’s why I want what is best for you baby….” Nick sat in silence as he saw the worrisome look on Brian’s face. Nick’s stomach tightened as he heard that tone in Brian’s voice, warning his heart that something was not right. “We can’t do this Nick…” Brian said, a single tear falling down his cheek. Nick pulled his hands quickly away and snapped his body back away from Brian. “What? Why Brian? I love you…we love each other…Is there anything wrong?” Nick then became worried that something was wrong with Brian. “ Brian, if anything is wrong, don’t worry baby, I’ll wait forever for you.” Brian then began to shed a flood of tears as he heard Nick profess his undying love. He convinced himself before he came to Nick’s house tonight that he had to end it. Now the words seemed to be caught in the back of his throat. He couldn’t prolong it any longer, he couldn’t hear any more words from Nick or he might back down. “ It’s over Nicky, we’re both too young for this, our careers are just blossoming…we can’t risk anything for this…this…infatuation.” Brian’s heart sunk to his stomach as he spoke that last word. The truth was that he loved Nick so much that it scared him. He might possibly risk everything to be with him, and that was where the danger lied. He couldn’t risk his family, his future and his friendship with Nick if anything went further. What if people found out and destroyed their lives and their love? Brian continued to stare at the floor as a continuous stream of tears fell down his face. He heard nothing from Nick, he didn’t even feel any movement from him on the bed. He looked over at his friend and saw the anger, the betrayal, the hurt building on his face. Nick turned to face him and that look would remain with Brian for the rest of his life. His eyes were burning, full of hatred, hurt and complete pain. “Infatuation…that’s all it was to you?” Nick said flatly. “ I do love you Nick, you are my best friend, but we can’t take this road, we can’t risk everything.” Brian said begging for Nick’s forgiveness and love between sobs. “You are my everything.” Nick said as he released the tears that had built up in his beautiful blue eyes. “Please leave…Please…” he begged, getting up from the bed and walking towards the door. Brian sat for a moment and realized he had to leave, even though he wanted to stay and hold Nick and explain all the reasons why he had to do this…he had to go and let Nick absorb the shock he had just rendered. Nick silently opened the door and stared at the floor as Brian walked past him and stepped outside. Brian turned around to say goodbye, not knowing how long it would be before he would even get to see Nick again. “You are my best friend Nicky…and I’ll always love you.” Brian said, tears flowing once more. |