NEWS, 04.20.05
It's too bad we didn't stumble across this site sooner. Turns out there's a rival organization out there, FOSAS (Fans of Star Wars Against SWISH; wouldn't this be FOSWAS?), which disbanded less than a month after its inception. How unfortunate, since this site was a nugget of entertaining nonsense, much like our own site! "We will fight SWISH and protect Star Wars and everything we love."

The best part of the whole site? "I think that [the SWISH] webpage was made by a couple of girls who only a) like shopping at the mall b)only like movies that have a cheesy stupid romantic twist to it or c) lost there boyfriends to the Starwars chain. ... These people must have a PERSONAL grudge against SW's so they voice there own OPINION on what should happen. I say to them, Starwars is not your movies,creation,empire, ect....So let the fans have there Starwars and fun, but no, they go and try to ruin it for millions of fans, so were fighting back to disband this group known as SWISH!"

We should do a whole campaign pointing out how pointless it is to learn how to read and write by watching Star Wars alone.

FOSAS, you will be missed!

NEWS, 04.18.05
It took a while, but we finally have some merchandise available at Cafepress. Click here to browse the shop. Right now, we have two similar designs: one that says "SWISH: Star Wars is So Horrible" with our web address, and one that says "SWISH: fighting the force since 1996." In the coming weeks, we'll have much better stuff available, but for those of you out there wanting to sport the SWISH name during the Episode III craziness, maybe this will suffice for now. Check back often, and expect big things in the next couple of weeks.

NEWS, 04.08.05
We couldn't possibly make this stuff up. Some Star Wars fans are so rabidly crazed about the idea of seeming devoted to this film that they are lining up in front of the famous Grauman's Chinese Theater, where the film isn't even scheduled to play. Lining up in front of the theater where the flick is playing is bad enough, but lining up at a theater that's completely irrelevant is absurd. Maybe this is a naive question, but don't these people have jobs or classes to go to? One cannot subsist on Star Wars alone, after all. Read all about it here.

Also, we're hard at work on some flyer and sticker designs to post for your downloading enjoyment. We've had several people inquire about ways to help the anti-Star Wars cause, and we hope providing some guerilla information fodder will be a step in the right direction. Click on over to the Current Campaigns page to snatch the first flyer. Also coming soon, SWISH merchandise from Cafepress!

NEWS, 03.25.05
It's time for another installment of "Wacky Message Board Wankers!" This time with more beef!

On 12.15.04, Sentinel 106 imparted this nugget of wisdom:
   [[I like star wars and i respect that you don't. There's only one problem, why do you guys devote so much time and effort into a corny site that sucks itself just to say "Star Wars Sucks"? It's pointless! It's like putting shit on pizza, won't do you or anyone else anygood. Oh and another think, how many people are in SWISH? You guys talk about it like there's 100's of you but i think it's just 2 gay guys who don't even know german. You guys also realize that almost everyone that comes here would like to hang you for hating star wars right? You guys should do something smart for a change! Make a fansite, trust me it gets alot more hits and alot more happy people. P.S. You guys suck monkey ballz!]]

Actually, Sentinel, we tried the whole putting-shit-on-pizza thing back in 1995 (Project ShitSnack) and it never really panned out, like you predicted. Apparently people are not willing to gobble up shit on pizza even though they gladly inhale shit on film. But thanks for posting!

On 12.22.04, Jay let us in on an embarrassing little secret:
   [[that banner of the man and a woman at the bottom of your site is used on a penis enlargement website]]

And Jay, just how would you know that?

On 3.13.05, Rocko broke from his modern life to tell us this:
   [[Hate's a bit too strong a word, but you know what I don't like? Queefy little girls from band camp who think they're smarter than they really are. I'm sure that the response will be "We're not even in band anymore, ignoramous! You are a cog in a consumerist culture and a slave of George Lucas!" ... Get the hell off your high horse, let people enjoy something that's fun for them even if you don't see the attraction, and for God's sake, make a webpage about something you actually do like, because nobody likes a pastey white overweight bunch of broads who fucking complain about shit they can't do anything about. For God's sake, stop the madness. pull the flute out of your ass and put it back in your mouth and play a tune that we can all dance to.]]

Rocko, you seem like a really sweet person, but as long as you make retarded American Pie allusions, we can't possibly address your complaint. Now, we're off to the opera!

NEWS, 03.24.05
I just purchased a pack of tropical Skittles from a vending machine without noticing (somehow) the giant "USE THE FORCE! TASTE THE RAINBOW!" emblazoned across the top, above a subtle portrait of Queen Amidala. Apparently Skittles, which was once an official SWISH food, has entered into an unholy union with Star Wars. They're offering a contest in which you can win a Star Wars-themed iPod that's red and menacing and not only insults one's visual cortex, but Apple's reputation for beautiful aesthetics as well. From now on, we'll stick with Starburst.

NEWS, 03.19.05
This is a cry for help.

NEWS, 03.18.05
I. The site redesign is coming along and should be complete within the next couple of weeks. We hope it will be sleeker and more consistent throughout. Don't be surprised, though, if you encounter broken links during the redesign process.

II. With the Episode III release fast approaching, it's time for us to do what we do best -- spread the word about how much Star Wars sucks. Protest, rally, blog, talk, boycott -- every piece of action contributes to the Star Wars-free world we're trying to create. Keep checking back for updates on how the critics feel about the newest release. Fans keeps telling us that the final installment will be much better than Episode II, but this requires that they admit that Episode II sucked giant monkey balls.

III. Titanic in space?!? Click on over to In the News to read George Lucas' own admission that the new episode is going to be a clunker. He said it's a tearjerker, comparable to James Cameron's ultra melodrama Titanic. This can mean a couple of things: We can take it literally and infer that Episode III will sink just like the real Titanic, or we can infer that the film is going to be so goopy and sad that most of the action-crazed masses will shun its veritable squishiness. Of course, I think we all realize that what Lucas probably meant is that his movie will gross so much money that it will make Titanic's top-grossing-film-of-all-time status wither away, but I really doubt that will happen.

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