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Quotes from the Musketeers... a group of self-professed losers sit around and make fun of each other.
Members of the Musketeers include Benny Vuong, Jack Simonson, Aaron Karty, Chris Juenger, Ben Goodman, Sam Karty, Bill Simonson, Billy Swanson, Andrew Woods, Mark Miller and (playing the villain) Allen Luo. Special Guest stars include Janie(from the Girls page), Anh (of Sex Like Burning) and Mojo (boyfriend of Elisa... from the Girls page). "I wish my dad had taken more drugs." ~Aaron "I wish britney would defile me." ~Chris "You mean she's worth getting wet for? Is that what you're saying?" ~Aaron "Boy, you sure do like taking the big ones, don't you Ben(ny)?" ~Jack "I'm just kinda feeling them out, here." ~Jack "If this explodes in your lap, it's not my fault." ~Aaron " If God had a shotgun, that'd be ME." ~Benny "Then my prostate matched with her Fallopian tubes." ~Jack "Ah! Sam, get that thing out of my ass!" ~Billy "You know what I mean, Ben!! You're my lover!!" ~Jack "Dry humping should be illegal." ~Jack "You had sex with the cat next door." ~Mark "You killed my character! ... SHUT UP!" ~Aaron "What's wrong? Flu? Cold? Terminal case of oral herpes?" ~Mark "I want you in my room, Mark." ~Jack "Anytime the world's gettin ya down, just remember: there are approximately 1.3 billion chinese who don't give a rat's ass." ~Benny "Jesus's ass is also a character." ~Jack "Wonder Woman isn't so bad herself. I'd like to salute her stars an' stripes." ~Allen "I can imagine Jack at sex." ~BenG "So long as it goes up somewhere." ~Aaron "I'm naked." ~Jack "Actually, I finished with his butt." ~Jack "My groin hurts. YES!" ~Jack "The Virgin's Alamo: Get on top of them somehow and just start banging away." ~Jack "Did you measure them while they were on their knees?" ~Benny "Ooh, I like it wet." ~Billy A conversation: Jack: "I think you should convince yourself that you're gay." Mark: "You just wanna [do] me." Jack: "Is it that obvious?" "Ben(ny), you are no longer asian. You are a potato." ~Jack "The Rodeo: Call out some other girl's name in bed and see how long you can stay on." ~Jack "Now you go and you get some ass!" ~Sam "How could I resist Mark's stick?" ~Jack "Jack, take off your pants." ~Chris "I'm a sucker for girls." ~Mark "Why don't you cut off my [gosh darn] dick and shove it up my [gosh darn] ass." ~Billy "Did you know that attacking a coconut is soothing?" ~Aaron "You're just having trouble staying upright, aren't you?" ~Mark "Why did you have to go and do that? My crotch wasn't attacking you!" ~Ben "Why don't girls like the idea of sexual encounters with power tools?" ~Aaron "Dammit the people above me are humping... humn.... that didn't last very long...." ~Aaron "It WAS there...I sucked it off." ~Ben "I am an impressive bastard, aren't I?" ~Mark A conversation: Aaron: Just one disappointment after another. Mark: That's me, Mr. Disappointment. And I'm impressive too, so I'm Mr. Impressive Disappointment." "You can spruce my goose anyway you want, Mark." ~Jack "He's got a nice nipple." ~Jack "So how are you my naughty little girl, do you need a spanking?" ~Aaron "Jack was in my Netherlands." ~ Chris "I'm always on the recieving end." ~Chris "What are you doing? You're missing!!" ~Chris "And then I would ride Monica underwater." ~Chris "I think I'm going to take off my underwear now." ~Chris A conversation: Jack: I feel like rice and soy sauce. Mark: I feel like a happy man Jack: Then eat me. I'll be happy. "I was protecting my crotch on purpose!" ~Aaron "Why do I have to get on top?" ~Aaron "She grabbed my nipple and twisted!" ~Aaron "One's mouth-watering, the other's eye-watering." ~Aaron (you had to be there) "Janie is not my dick!" ~Chris A conversation: Anh: "Benny, do you blow monkeys?" Benny: "... nah. Ain't seen a monkey in a long while. Though I confused BenG for one." "My boobs are falling." ~Chris "Jack is all-powerful in the penis area." ~Chris "Mark's more pliable when he's liquored up." ~Aaron A conversation: Billy: "Man, Halle Berry is really hot." Bill: "Yeah. Hey, your sister has a really nice rack." Billy: "Yeah, I know." "I think you're giving Jack an orgasm." ~Chris "Do you think I suck too much, or don't suck enough?" ~Chris "Nah, I'm too small, it's never been an issue." ~Mojo A conversation: Chris: "Ow, I hurt myself!" Janie: "You hurt yourself rubbing your nipples?" Chris: "Ya, I overstimulated myself" "No, I don't cheat on Snickers." ~Mark "You natural 20'd his nuts after he had already taken 6 points of scrotal damage." ~Jack "Janie can fit three squirrels in her box." ~Chris |