I just saw my first ever episode of the American TV show, 'Crocodile Hunter'.

In case you're unfamiliar with the show, the general premise is thus- an Aussie 'bushman' with an overexaggerated accent goes into many exotic locales, and pisses off the native fauna. And not just any fauna. The kind of fauna that could give you a deadly bite, sting, of just plain 'ol tear your arms off. In the episode I saw, he pissed off six species of scorpion, five pythons, four adders, a chameleon who just happened to be there, two mamba snakes, and a partridge in a pear tree. Well, maybe not the partridge, but if there was a partridge, it would've been a mutated, venomous, highly deadly partridge, who can kill you with a single glance.

I sat there, cringing, throughout the entire show. As an Aussie, I don't think I've ever seen a more embarrassing representation of Australian culture. Crocodile Dundee was bad, but at least he was suave, had an attractive love interest, and a cool catchphrase -'that's not a knife... this is a knife'. What has 'Crocodile Hunter' got? 'Crikey'. Yup. Crikey. I don't think I've ever heard anyone use the word 'Crikey' in my twenty years on the planet. Suddenly this guy is spouting it like it's... well... catchy.

Is this honestly how the rest of the world sees Australians?

On second thoughts, don't answer that.

The funniest thing is the way he reacts to aggression in the animals he hunts. (None of which, I might add, were crocodiles, so what's the point of the show's title? Get your act together, buddy!) He'll be holding a snake aloft by the tail, watch it thrashing around, and say something like "Crikey, this snake's bloody aggressive, cobber. I don't know why it's so angry, mate.  They're usually not this aggressive in the wild. Throw another shrimp on the barbie."
Well, it's a tough one, but I'm guessing the reason this snake is so aggressive is because you chased it out of a tree, across the ground, into the long grass, out of the long grass, into a canefield, across the ground some more, up another tree, grabbed it by the tail, suspended it twenty feet above the ground, and started poking it with a stick.

And yet, the odd thing is, you want this stupid, idiotic, boofhead caricature to survive. I found myself sitting there, holding my breath, tensing every muscle as he held the kind of snake whose venom makes your limbs fall off mere inches from his face (I'm not kidding, he actually did this), then when the aforementioned snake slithers off into the undergrowth, breathing a sigh of relief and subconciously saying- "Wow, I'm so glad he survived that deadly encounter. I wonder what animal he'll piss off next?" Then I'd catch myself thinking this, and yell at my subconcious "Hey! It would have served him right to have his fingers fall off like bloated cocktail weenies! Stop feeling empathy for him! I mean, look at the guy! I've never seen such a stupid haircut in my life!"

And with every animal he pissed off, the cycle would continue.
 
You know who I really admire? The cameraman that follows this guy around. Not only does he have to live with being attacked by deadly fauna on a daily basis, he has to deal with a catchphrase-spouting, safari-suit-wearing, animal-pissing-offing idiot.

I'd rather share a hotel room with the mamba snake.