Basically, if you go along to a Bob Downe concert, you're guaranteed of a great time because you probably wouldn't even be there unless you were already a big fan. It's amazing how many people don't know the inimitable Mr Downe. One shop assistant actually asked, "What?" when I told her where I was off to.

Not even a "Who?" for God's sake!

But for the faithful, Bob offers 90 minutes of non-stop laughs, with his Whiter! Brighter! show combining '70s chart toppers, a stage setting with a disco-flavoured laundromat theme (a homage to his aunt who owns a chain of laundromats), and the Apple Fresh Dancers, Amber and Ashley.

The energetic dancers did high kicks, and shook their tooshies, courtesy of Tony Bartuccio's choreography, supporting Bob in some numbers, and filling in during his costume changes.

When Bob first came out on the stage, many of the audience, including myself and friend, spent most of the first song in tears of laughter just looking at him.

It's the incredibly daggy cut of the plaid pants that are a couple of inches too short and not quite fitting the crotch, it's the Ken doll wig, it's the toothy grin as he belts out the song like a cabaret crooner, it's the…well, you get the picture- it's the entire package.

Disco Inferno and Boogie Wonderland was the opening medley, then Bob launched into the Neil Diamond classic we all hoped we'd never hear again, Cracklin' Rosie.

Helen Reddy's Angie Baby was there too and Bob entertained with his spoken segments which included numerous local references to get the crowd on side and so that you really appreciated just how much homework this boy does.

And there were those tales about Bob's youth in Murwillumbah with his homesewing mum and his cheeky Aunty Bev- tales a lot of us can relate to, and all told with tongue firmly in cheek in Bob's unique way that acknowledges he's taking the piss but still staying in character.

Bob donned a lime green crimplene suit with white fringes to do his encores of Love Really Hurts Without You, Love is in the Air and Last Dance, and there was no doubt the crowd could have watched him for another hour.

It's so good just to be able to laugh so much your face starts to ache, and you have to hand it to any performer who can do that for you.

Mr Entertainment, I take off my hat to you.

There are a lot of adjectives you could use to describe entertainer extraordinaire Bob Downe, but lazy isn't one of them. Brizzie audiences were treated to his hilariously funny Million Sellers show last September and now he's back with his Whiter! Brighter! show.

When I spoke on the phone to Bob, it was 10:30 on a Saturday morning and he'd just got out of bed after a long, hard night's rehearsal. When asked how it was going, the response was an enthusiastic, "Fantastic! My producer was jumping up and down and clapping his hands and counting his grosses."

Oh, so maybe the hard working part has something to do with all the cash that comes flowing in, seeing as Bob's unashamedly kitschy, daggy performances bring in fans in their thousands these days. But what about the constant need for new material?

Bob says that during the Million Sellers tour, which lasted for two years, he was already hatching Whiter! Brighter! in his mind.

"I wanted to do a disco show with dancers, that's something I've really wanted to do," he says. "This has got enough disco to dislodge a mirror ball. Million Sellers was more rock and pop. This one's got I Love The Nightlife, Last Dance, Boogie Wonderland, Disco Inferno… get the idea? Kung Fu Fighting, Car Wash- it's a really funky, goodtime show."

People who saw Million Sellers might've been amazed at the vast array of songs from the '70s which they recognised but had forgotten existed. I was curious if Bob had some sort of super-natural memory for such things?

" Yeah I do. And I had all those records as a kid. I was an obsessive record collector right from when I was a little boy in the '60s and I used to keep my own weekly charts. I loved all the music and they were my charts, what was number one. My all time longest running number one was for Bohemian Rhapsody for six weeks in 1976. "

Well that explains it. But what might need some explaining to younger fans is the cultural significance of Bob using Tony Bartuccio as the choreographer for this show. If you weren't watching late night TV in the '70s, then you wouldn't have seen The Don Lane Show complete with the legendary Tony Bartuccio Dancers, the epitome of tack and vulgarity.

"Tony Bartuccio is an Australian legend," waxes Bob. "And the dancers were sexy, fast, furious, and that's what we are. Me and two beautiful dancers, Amber and Ashley. It's very risque, we get lots of flesh…After years of taking the piss out of Tony, I've got him to choreograph my show and he's getting his own back. I can hardly walk."

Bob is, of course, the creation of his alterego and manager, Mark Trevorrow, who sometimes appears as himself on shows like GNW Night Lite.

But with such a strong and popular character, it would be understandable of Mark sometimes felt that he was being swallowed up by Bob. But He insists that isn't the case.

"No, not at all," he says. "I love doing things as both. I'm always happy to do it as myself and as Bob. I mean you wouldn't have Mark doing the Mardi Gras - it's got to be Bob."

And the main differences between them? "Bob is just so much more stupid. Mark's a bit clever for his own good, but Bob's so stupid he doesn't even know it."

Stupid might be a bit harsh, but lovably silly is just the way is just the way audiences love Bob, and Mark is not even tempted to retire the character.

"Never. Never ever ever," he says emphatically. "What else would let me do what I do on stage- sing those ridiculous songs and dance those stupid steps, you know what I mean? And make up all those funny stories about the family."

"It's just a fantasy thing and you'd never let that go. Look at Barry Humphries, he's doing Dame Edna on Broadway 45 years after he invented the character. There's life in the old Bob yet, I can tell you now."

"And in the last years I'm only just hitting my stride, finding a national audience, We've sold out in Adelaide already and sold thousands of tickets in Brisbane. It's just going off. I'd hardly be likely to give up the character now. I've got a house to build anyway," he laughs.

He's the wildest 'King of Sing' that Australia has to offer- precision cut hair that promises to outlive nuclear attack, a vocal talent to scare off even the most persistent Young Talent Time star and a day-glo wardrobe to match.

Now, Bob Downe is about to take on his greatest challenge, and in this Olympic year, is ready to go for gold and become - the new 'Lord of the Dance'.

Rather than just grab another title, Bob Downe's latest show Whiter! Brighter! promises to be an 'all singing all dancing' spectacular like we've never seen Bob do before.

"We've opened the new show at the Adelaide Festival and it's beautiful," laughs Bob. "I've got these two gorgeous young dancers, Amber and Ash, and I'm older than their combined ages. I found them from the great Tony Bartuccio who's choreographing the show. Tony Bartuccio is the legendary choreographer who did all the dances on The Don Lane Show in the '70s and he's doing the most incredible job."

Fans of Bob Downe will know that he's long been obsessed with the famed dancer, and had often incorporated his famed moves into his shows. Now, Bob has snapped up Bartuccio who has him doing all the right moves along with his latest companions, the 'near-naked' Apple Fresh Dancers.

"I've known him for quite some time and he's been a bit of a fan for a while. When I was thinking of putting dancers in, he was the first person that we thought to approach. He has his own studio and teaches dance, and does a huge amount of corporate work and television work. Now I'm in all the numbers with the dancers and he's making me look like I can dance. I can't believe it."

Where Downe's last show was a celebration of easy listening's most hummable tunes, Whiter! Brighter! promises to be all-new, high-powered , high-energy and high-hair.

"It's a disco show, disco and pop, with songs like 'Love Really Hurts Without You', 'Disco Inferno', 'Last Dance', 'I Love the Nightlife'. It's all the biggies, and all the ones I've wanted to do."

After another winning spot as host on this year's Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras telecast, Downe's alter-ego/ manager Mark Trevorrow promises that we may even get to see another Bob Downe album this year, hectic scheduling permitting and tours of the UK and US pending

Until then, there's Whiter! Brighter! to keep us dancing in the aisles.

Queensland Pride: Recently, in the QANTAS In-flight Magazine, I saw you in a pineapple coloured fright suit. What is your favourite colour?
Bob Downe: Oh, oh, it's probably a sky blue, a velour blue and banana yellow with burnt orange, oh and lime green.

QP: Why is that?
Bob: I'm a bit of a slut. I go with the flow.

QP: And who is you favourite choreographer nowadays?
Bob: Now let me think… oh, Tony Bartuccio, I'd have to say. Do you remember the fabulous halcyon days of the Channel Nine dancers? Tony is a legend. I have to say this because he's sitting next to me in a café in Melbourne.

QP: Will he be featuring in your next show?
Bob: He certainly is. Tony is choreographing my brand new seventy-five minute show, which is coming to Twelfth Night in Brisbane at the end of March.

QP: Are you coming up for the Mardi Gras recovery?
Bob: I think my actual recovery might be in bed because I'm in the middle of rehearsing this new stage show.

QP: Do you know who you'll be with?
Bob: Not at this stage, but I am hopeful. Who knows, it could be more than one.

QP: How many years have you the Mardi Gras now?
Bob: I've done five broadcasts in a row and I've hosted the last three.

QP: What will you be wearing for that?
Bob: I don't want to say too much, but I've got some rather stunning new clothes that I picked up in New York. I go to New York because nobody does crappy old 70's gear like the Americans.

QP: I notice you've been doing really good work on Good News Week.
Bob: I've been really enjoying it…er…um…well, Mark's been doing that.

QP: Will we be seeing more of Mark in the shows?
Bob: You might, although Bob's coming back with a vengeance in the stage show Whiter! Brighter! It's advance formula Bob…100 percent funnier! It's a seventy-five minute spectacular with two gorgeous dancers, the Apple Fresh dancers.

QP: Where are they from?
Bob: The Apple Fresh dancers are from Melbourne, the dance capital of the country.

QP: You know Queensland has a big contingent heading to Sydney for Mardi Gras.
Bob: Ooh I know. I'll be looking out for them. Of course we will, they are from Queensland after all.

QP: We'll have black and white Dalmatians as well.
Bob: They should yell, just in case I've got my back tuned to them doing celebrity interviews.

QP: Have a latte for us.
Bob: Oh I am. I'm in Melbourne where it's so hip it hurts.

The small and large screens have sizzled with romantic kisses: Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr on the beach in 'From Here to Eternity', Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor in 'Cleopatra', Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in 'Gone with the Wind' and now, Bob Downe and renowned British actor, Sir Ian McCallum, lips touching ever so briefly, televised nationally at the Sydney Mardi Gras.

"He started it," Bob Downe, celebrity, gay icon, song and dance man claims.

"I was trapped like a rabbit in the spotlight. I saw it coming, and I thought I can't not do this, the tribe is watching. But I could hear $10 Target coffee mugs crashing from Rockie to Adelaide."

Bob Downe, alias Mark Trevorrow, is in town with his new show, Whiter! Brighter!

"The whole thing has a bit of a laundromat feel," he explains. "It is Bob, wilder, more stupid and 'camper' than ever, performing all his favourites, particularly his all-time favourite song Cracklin' Rosie, from his new album Cold August Night. "

"There's brand new numbers, brand new costumes, beautiful young dancers choreographed by the wonderful Tony Bartuccio, who I've been taking the piss out of your years, and of course, I'll have the same hair."

Mark has made a very successful living playing 'campy' extrovert, Bob Downe.

"I've been doing this show all my life. My younger sister and two older brothers love it, but it is not surprise to them."

"Even Mum and Dad, who are based at East Gippsland, try to see the show as often as they can."

And speaking of his mother, does she help with those beautiful costumes?

"No Mum doesn't cook or sew to any great extent. It's a Germaine Greer sort of thing," he reflects.

But believe it or not, Mark has actually managed to buy the outfits he wears. Yes, someone is still selling those seventies outfits!

"I actually found these clothes in a shop in New York, which sells old clothing never worn, dirt cheap. I got my entire wardrobe for my new show for just $US460. Bargain!"

"Of course they have to be handled very carefully however, because they are old clothes despite the fact they are 'new' on the shelf! Everything gets dry cleaned, so there's no nasty surprises in the clothes line. Believe me, it's top security on wash day!"

As alter-ego/manager to his colourful character Bob Downe, it is great to know that Mark really loves Bob and loves playing Bob.

"I adore Bob, really, but Bob can't stand Mark. Bob thinks he is mutton dressed up as mutton! Truth be known, Bob thinks Mark is a failed Melbourne journalist whose life evolves around Mardi Gras. "

They are a hardworking, um, duo who are not at all pretentious and have earned the dollars through years of clubs, pubs and character developments.

"Forget the $10 000 a day supermodel fee, Bob would get out of bed for 10 Mars Bars a day," Mark exclaims, "besides my mother doesn't let him sleep past 10. If he's away she rings him and says 'Are you up?"

We asked Mark and Bob how much they differ and it seems a lot. Even eating out can be a battle of wills.

"Bob's favourite dish is Vesta's Nasi Goreng, remember it? They don't make it any more and he is down to his last box left over from the 70's.

"Mark's favourite dish, on the other hand, is anything pretentious and Italian. Let's just say Nouveau Italian."

For Mark, there is room for Bob and Bob only.

"There are no characters in the shadows," he said, "a case of no time and Bob would kill them."

"Sad but true, he would arrange for their assassination."

So Bob, like all good alter-egos continues to grow stronger, day by day, feeding on his idols - Bernard King, Graham Kennedy, Paul and Rhonda Sharratt, Jackie McDonald and Bert Newton - until he shines Whiter and Brighter than ever before!

Mark Trevorrow (aka Bob Downe) waltzes into the cafe in Darling Harbour and plunks himself down at the table, whipping his hat off and tilting his face to the sunshine.

"Oh, sun" he says with a sigh.

"I love to come home to Sydney - I've just spent two weeks in Perth and it's been two weeks of rain, which is very unusual in Perth."

Not that his time in Perth was spent preoccupied with the weather - Trevorrow finished off a sell-out season at His Majesty's Theatre and is headed for his second sell out season at the Sydney Opera House, more stints on Channel Nine's (sic) Good News Week and spots on almost every current affairs program in the country.

After ten years in London (not his favourite city, but where he is a major star: he was invited to perform at two Royal Variety Shows), he is hot property and glad to be home.

"Look around," he wave at the sparkling water, glistening skyline and blue, sunny sky.

"I'd much rather be here than London - it's a shithole, but that's where the work was," he says.

"London is such an unfair place on ordinary people - it's so hard to get ahead there because they are socially and financially really kept under the thumb," he says, although he admits the theatre and television scene there is "deeply brilliant" although not culturally so.

"Obviously, that's what kept me there - they make the best television in the world."

Bob Downe is just one of those characters Trevorrow presented in the early 80s as part of his Melbourne cabaret act The Globos, but his genesis came much earlier.

As a child, Trevorrow would make his schoolmates laughs with a character he referred to as "Junior Bob".

"The appeal is his childishness - he brings to audience back to their childhood and we can all be stupid for a while and not think about the other things that comedians make you think about," he says.

"He's like a combination of the Wiggles and Rodney Rude - any 'blue' content is by suggestions and innuendo...

"He's dirty by suggestion, which means you can bring the kids, but the grandparents find it funny too - in fact, they want him dirtier," Trevorrow says.

In the tradition of mime artists whoe are encouraged to discover their inner clown, Bob is truly Trevorrow's clown.

Bob was inspired by the 1960s television shows Trevorrow watched during his childhood, from Warner Bros cartoons to high-energy variety shows hosted by people like Graham Kennedy and Phil Brady.

"They were very hyper because they were going absolutely live and the host had to keep it happening," he says. "You mustn't stop - therec an be no dead air, as they say in broadcasting."

His retro creation born of manic TV had finally come full circle as Trevorrow prepares to launch his own TV show, A Bob Each Way, for Foxtel's TV1. It will be a combination of interviews, songs and skits with special guests (Trevorrow wants the Wiggles on as regulars).

"It's going to be very 70s - very Hugh Heffner - with coins lined up behind me all with my profile on them."