Nicole and David live in a small rental Housing Trust unit in the outer southern suburbs, which is now becoming a bit small with Mary-Jane's arrival and doesn't have a big yard. Nicole and David dream of buying their own house and often think about how they can make their dream come true. They are also keen to provide only the best from Mary-Jane as she grows up.

The Panelists:
Associate Prof Anne Stonehouse - representing children
Julie Lester - journalist - representing parents
Dr Chris Pearson - paediatricitan with the Women and Children's Hospital - representing healthy issues
Gerry Mulhearn - curriculum superintendent, early years - representing early years practitioners
Joan Corbett - Family and Community Services, Canberra - representing policy makers
Julie McCrossin - facilitator
Barbara Biggins - Young Media Australia - representing media aspects

Julie McCrossin, from Channel 10's Good News Week, explored the lives of members of a fictitious young family when she facilitated a hypothetical at the Our Children - the Future early childhood conference.

A panel of eight experts from a variety of feilds gave their views on scenarios involving the care and education of the young couple's first child, Mary-Jane.

In the first scenario, Mary-Jane had just been born and her parents wanted to know where to get the best advice.

Journalist Julia Lester said the best advice was to "listen to the ones you love and trust, your baby and yourself".

Department and University of South Australia research adviser Prof Philip Gammage agreed.

He said the only literature worth reading was something that said, "being parents is just being yourselves".

Dr Chris Pearson, a paediatrician at the Women and Children's Hospital, said there were "too many books professing their own views".

"The best solution is to find the most successful parents and copy them," he said.

Associate Prof Anne Stonehouse, director of the Centre for early Childhood Research and Development at Monash University, said parents shouldn't rely on books - "they should read the child".

But she said there was useful information in some literature.

The second stage of the scenario involved choosing childcare.

Mary-Jane's father, David, decided he would look after the new baby one day per week, the child's maternal grandmother agreed to look after her one day per week and for the other three working days Mary-Jane would go to childcare.

Mary-Jane's paternal grandparents felt her mother, Nicole, should stay home with the child instead of working.

Joan Corbett, from Family and Community Services in Canberra, gave an overview of the childcare system's priorities.

Joan said the federal government wanted to help parents with the cost of childcare and was keen to build more flexibility into childcare.

"We are planning a system to try and make sure we get services where they are needed," she said.

"The whole of the childcare system is something to be proud of. It is a worldclass childcare system that meets the diverse needs of Australian families."

In looking at the scenario, Anne felt continuity was important for Mary-Jane.

"The younger the child, the more important continuity and consistency are," she said.

She felt Mary-Jane's childcare schedule was satisfactory, as long as the three days childcare were consecutive and the maternal grandmother was a familiar face to Mary-Jane and looked after her in Mary-Jane's home.

Philip said he delighted that David was taking "serious, consistent long-term care of the child".

"I'm worried terribly about turbulence in the child's life," he said.

Philip questioned Joan about funding that had been withdrawn from childcare.

She acknowledged that there were reforms in childcare, but said the government intended to invest a lot more in the area.

Julia remained sceptical.

"I've seen (childcare centres) close," she said.

"Those on lower incomes can't afford it. It's cheaper to send your child to a private school than childcare.

There is no fundamental commitment in this country to sticking your money where your mouth is."

In the next scenario, Mary-Jane was becoming interested in television, particularly Teletubbies.

Barbara Biggins from Young Media Australia said children's media experiences were an important aspect of their development.

"Media choices must be made (by parents) as carefully as food or childcare choices," she said.

Barbara explained that television programs were age specific and young children should be watching those rated "P" for preschoolers or programs on the ABC like Teletubbies.

She advised that children should be kept away from cartoons and advertising.

"A child has to be developmentally able to know what's going on to be media literate," she said.

"A child is unable to understand that an advertiser will cajole or convince us to buy."

Julie asked Chris is television was particularly damaging for children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Chris said television did not play a large part in the life of a child with ADHD because the child usually did not have a long enough attention span for it to kepp his or her attention.

He felt there was an over emphasis on ADHD generally and "good parenting will hep all children with their behaviour."

In the next stage of the scenario, Mary-Jane turned three and her parents needed to decide if she should continue at daycare or go to a "proper" preschool as many of their friends suggested.

Curriculum superintendent, early years Gerry Mulhearn said a good education program in "whatever setting" had particular characteristics.

"A determining factor might be the cost," she said.

Gerry advised the the parents do their own research to make the decision.

Anne said a high quality preschool was better than a low quality childcare centre and a high quality childcare centre was better than a low quality preschool.

MSO How did you feel about this schoolgirl crush?
JM When I was 13 I saw a film called The Loudest Whisper which was a remake of the Lillian Helman play The Children's Hour. The Hollywood film starred Shirley McLaine and Audrey Hepburn. Two teachers running a school are falsely accused of having a lesbian affair and they take out a defamation case and lose it. Subsequently McLaine, after sobbingly confessing that she did have those lesbian feelings - they never touched, there was never any form of contact - promptly went upstairs and hung herself. And I was 13. It was the night before a Latin exam and I knew that I had those feelings. I will never forget it. I felt very, very bad about that for a number of years.

MSO Did you doubt your own feelings?
JM I got on with the normal involvment with boys but I always knew I had feelings for girls. So Gay Lib was a terribly important relief for me. I didn't go until I was 19 and that's a long time between 13 and 19 to get no positive messages which is essentially why I travelled down to do the Hypothetical on same sex relationships and why I still do a lot of public speaking in Sydney around gay, lesbian and transgender issues. I want to do whatever I can in my lifetime to prevent another young boy or girl going through that terrible period of self-doubt and self-hatred.

MSO You felt self-hatred?
JM Oh God yeah. I'm from the old school. When I first went to gay and lesbian bars there was a strict role playing, butch and femme. It wasn't a political thing for me. I always think if I'd been born earlier I'd have still been a part of the lesbian sub culture - I would have sought it out. The police element would not have discouraged me. I feel I'm the true blue, deadset lesbain.

MSO But for other women, that may not be the case.
JM In the later years of women's lib many women had lesbian relationships as part of the enthusiasm for feminism - and good luck to them - but I don't consider myself part of that group. Some of my former partners would fall into that group and a number are now happily in heterosexual relationships with children.

MSO So for you it was innate.
JM Yes, I think it was. I think it was genetic. And I think other people have choice. I think some people are bisexual. You know some people go on about bisexual peoples as if it's somehow not having the courage of your convictions. I think that's just nonsense. I think some people can swing and they fall in love with different people at different times in their life. I'm a strong advocate that this is about freedom and it's about the removal of systematic discrimination.

MSO A lot of people are surprised that you're a 78er, that you took part of the first Mardi Gras protests.
JM Well I must say I don't think I went to the particular march up King's Cross where everyone got bashed up. Yes, I did go later that same evening as part of the rally to get people bailed out. I was at the court the next morning, and I was very active in the demonstrations that led up to that event and following it. There are some people who claim they saw me at the Cross. The 70s were tricky times, but I don't think I was there!

MSOWhat got you involved in gay activism?
JM I went to Sydney Yni in 1972. The women's movement and gay liberation were just starting to have a presence. Gay Lib was the first political group I got involved with and soon after, I got involved in "Women's Lib" as it was then called. I went to Gay Lib meetings for a year with an all-male group except for me. I was swept up in the excitement of the ideas coming from the United States that said that it was a normal part of the human spectrum of sexual behaviour and that discrimination was unethical and wrong.

MSO You don't make any public statements about your sexuality during the Good News Week but the humour of the show is almost pansexual. Does this make big statements unnecessary? Everyone on the show seems a little ambiguous.
JM I take the same approach with Good News Week as I do with all the other work that I do. I am open about being gay whenever it naturally arises. In my general life I am completely out in the sense of being on the Mardi Gras broadcast, co-hosting the Mardi Gras launch this year. But life is so fragmented. I'm sure many people across the nation watching Good News Week think Paul McDermott is gay and I'm straight. It's the other way around!

MSO How does the mainstream media deal with your sexuality given your public advocacy of gay and lesbian rights?
JM My identity is not as a lesbian woman and I actually think that's great. I'm only there purely on merit. I can somehow interject and say something in the face of what is often a rapid fire, male-dominated comedy environment and I'm there because I can somehow make a contribution. When I do interviews for TV Week or New Idea, I talk about my lesbian partner and her children.

MSO And how do they react to the big revelation?
JM They want to know all about me in the classic small 'c' celebrity way but they're absolutely bewildered when I say I'm a lesbian. They haven't picked it up. It's as if because I'm curvy and put the makeup on, I like the men sitting beside me and I'm sexy in a roly-poly sort of way: they think "She can't be a lesbian!" It's about not fitting a stereotype. But I'm hopeful if I'm on the program for long enough it will get around. "My God, she's a lesbian and she just fits in."

MSO Is the show contributing to shifts in public attitudes on these issues?
JM Especially with Paul McDermott dancing with Bob Downe every now and then. There's lots of double entendres and sexual ambiguity in the way Paul performs. I think it all makes a contribution. I think the fun of that is that he's doing that and I really am the lesbian and I get on with the guys. It sends out a really friendly message about sexuality that's a bit confusing but alluring. But I don't want to overplay it! It's only a little quiz show.

MSO Does the humour of the show ever shock you?
JM Oh often! We have no meetings to discuss this. I just get there, put makeup and clothes on, meet the guests and go for it. This is not constructed artificially. Mikey (Robins) and I just come on and ad lib. I'm almost like the God's police where Paul and Mikey will push humour to the limit. It's ironic because I've always done gay and lesbian shows which are fringe comedy, and now I'm the mainstream moral voice of Channel Ten!

MSO What's exciting you right now?
JM I'm excited that I've stuck with my law course. I'm on the home stretch with that. And I'm really enjoying my partner Melissa's two kids a little boy Luke who is ten and Amelia who's seven. They spend half the time with us and half the time with their father Michael who is an absolutely equal father. It's been great as an older woman who has never had children to experience that side of life.

8 March 2000, Herald Sun.
Self Portrait - Julie McCrossin

Star sign?
Libra. Always striving for balance.

Chink in your armour?
Intensity of feelings when faced with unfairness.

Strong suit?
Enthusiasm unlimited.

Monarchist or republican?
Republican, while admiring the Queen's sense of duty.

Best/worst aspect of first date?
Genuine affection but shocking self-consciousness. Palms so sweaty they could've irrigated the outback!

Favourite music/performer?
Country-rock babe Mary Chapin Carpenter.

Favourite meal?
Salad. I'm a rabbit/woman cross.

Read a good book lately?
Australian Constitutional Law & Theory by Blackshield and Williams.

Greatest achievement?
Fronting for a morning uni law exam after a night on GNW.

Biggest disappointment?
Never meeting my mum's English father.

Most embarassing moment?
My underpants falling to my ankles while running for the school bus.

Are you passionate?
You bet.

Who do you most admire?
Aboriginal leader and lawyer Noel Pearson.