darkness remniscent

 

Searching the realms of darkness with

a flashlight in my heart.

I find myself surrounded by incomprehension and

Unsincerity.

What gives you any right to be here?

They seem to say,

drawing strength from my lack of answer.

Fortune has not been wise with her gifts to you,

they mock, pointing at my weaknesses.

You are a wasted soul,

never once do they say that I am worth watching.

So I sit alone in solace,

my only companion a memory.

Who was I once? I was special.

And everyone treated me that way.

I was the greatest child ever (with the exception of One), and

I knew that nothing could stop me.

So how do you stop a child who will let nothing get in his way?

You take away his rest.

You take away his innocence.

You take away the very thing he holds most dear,

yet is far too young to realize it.

You take away peace.

And every day, and every night, he will long for the one thing

which he can never have.

And he will search the shadows for that elusive, all consuming, one word -

Peace.

And the offer of peace will never be accepted.

And so he will trust no one.

Ever.

He will only plumb the depths of his inner hell to find what ails him.

But he will never find us.

We are too much a part of him to ever come to light.

He will never find us.

Because we are him.

And he is what he is because of us.

There are no more mysteries.

There is only darkness.

Calm, soothing, silent,

Tranquil ... darkness.

Come sleep.

But I can't.

Yes.

No.

...

I am lost.

march 13, 2002