Jilli potters around the local media and overseas corners not normally in the pagan eye: UK magazines and newspapers, radio and the occasional foray into oblong circles and reversed triangles. This column is cheeky and definitely tongue in cheek.

Gods and Goddesses, Ladyes and Gentlemain, Friends
and Fiends:

I have for you in this edition, treats and meats for your delectation, mirthical and mythical, crass and divine, reverent and pure nonsense …………… Take your pick, I am here to entertain. Since last we met, I have frolicked in my fast growing urban jungle, bought a business, mourned my fast dwindling biceps (gotta get back in the gym) and discovered that hemlock is not all that poisonous (I ate some by mistake ! ).
My Peasgood Nonsuch has 5 apples on it, and the Tudor Russets are now head height, and for those who are not particularly into the dusty crevices of historic gardening, my goth wardrobe has expanded and the cat nearly died.
There, that's just about the last 3 months. During the next, I turn 63… so while deathly silence descends upon us, I shall continue as if I never said that. Onward …………….

Pagans in Iceland
(Blackdragon Feb 15 2006)

It seems that 3 new "houses of prayer" have been authorised by the Reykjavik government and assigned land lots: The Russian Orthodox Church, the Association of Icelandic Muslims, and the Association for Medieval (sic) Norse Paganism (asatru.)
The asatru land lot is 1500 - 2000 sq m and the temple (sic) will be 700 sq.m. The land is in a forested area, which must be quite exclusive as there are bugger all trees in Iceland. But, really, Well Done Heathens.

Santa Muerte
(Reuters Feb 12 2006)

Santa Muete is a centuries old pagan 'cult' which has seen a resurgence in recent years, and it is said that some 2 million follow it in Mexico. Santa Muerte, or Saint Death, is popular with thieves and drug smugglers (all 2 mill of them), and is depicted either as a male skeleton with scythe or a female skeleton with white robe and gold crown. They are painted red, white and black for love, luck and protection, and adorned with roses and tequila. They are also referred to, in the singular, as The Grim Reaper. The recent arrest of a woman suspected of mass murder uncovered a gruesome altar in her home to Santa Muete, but that is probably beside the point. My question is, is this where the advertising company got its logo from for that first AIDS advert, and if so why didn't we all get free tequila ?

Political Vampyres
(Reuters Jan 12 2006)

Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, has announced his bid for governor of Minneapolis (USA) on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party. He claims to be a Satanist who "doesn't hate Jesus but does hate God the Father ( ! ? ). He claims to respect all religions and plans to post up on the walls of all government buildings "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed", never mind he really hates that God Man. He also pledges to execute convicted murders personally by impaling them on a wooden pole. He claims to drink his wife's blood.
The announcement was on Fri Jan 13 "cause it's my lucky number". He obviously doesn't know the origin of unlucky 13 and the christianised Fri 13. Oh I hate these uneducated politicians!

Déjà vu
(UK Telegraph Feb 2 2006)

What really irritate me are americanisms that insert themselves into My Language which is grounded so deeply in Norman French. How on earth can you equate déjà vu, that gorgeous French funky sexy word, with "groundhog day". I hate it when people do that. This bunch of scientists, ok they're in America, finally studying déjà vu, have called their project Groundhog Day. They miss so much!! Déjà vu evokes that mystical, etheral feel you have when you say to yourself, "hang on a minute, I've done this before".
One patient of this Dr Moulin (the affrontary, he has a French name too ! ), asserts that it's a waste of time booking an appointment as he's already done it. That's chronic déjà vu! He's stopped watching tv because he's seen it all before. (Sound familiar).
Seriously of course, they're looking at the brain and will probably discover it's all down to chemical imbalance and not a wonderful other plane experience at all. They're even threatening to prove that it's the first stage of the onset of dementia.

Witchy Befana
(Rome Jan 5 2006)

On January 6, the white haired witch Befana rides her broomstick all over Italy, filling children's stockings with toys and sweets. Naughty children get a lump of coal (just like we did!). How come we got stuck with flippin' St Nicholas?
The arrival of Befana now triggers Italian consumers to spend 850 million euros. And sugary lumps of 'coal' cost 50cents for 30 grams. No figure on how many million euros they generate.
Point is: when are we Tasmanian Pagans going to adopt Befana? Rename her? SOMETHING? I still can't cope with christmases. I ignore it all, except in my sister's house. And I now vow that my new grand-daughter will be introduced to Befana next year.
If you circumnavigate the christianised version of Befana, it is discovered that she is a real witch, with ties to the neolithic shamans, plants and prosperity. The Big Grandmother! The cult of the hearth and fire. Extremely hedgewitchy. Hail Befana, Hail and welcome !

Here's an example site: www.floria-publications.com/ italy/life_and_customs/la_befana.html -

Occult networks of Babylon
(freemarketnews, Dec 13 2005).

A new film is going to explode onto the screens of an already credulous modern world. Named "The Order of Death" as a sequel of "Dark Secrets: Inside the Bohemian Grove", it will document (among other things and via hidden cameras) the 'secret pagan ritual'' of the Cremation of Care (owl worship). These documentaries explore the modern practices (and the roots of) the Bohemian Grove which has links to Ancient Egypt and Babylon. The new film will be specifically interested in the history of this modern pagan group and its links with US secret political societies, which appears to be the "backdrop to" some modern events such as the development of the Starwars program. I know, tantalising, Channel 9 stuff, but the practice of magic in high places must stir a bit of blood, eh? Sorry for the pun.
This titbit has some connotations that intrigue me and I shall place myself in great danger of assassination or incarceration in orange overalls (I hate orange) to find out for you all, before next quarter.

Giant Owls
(UK Telegraph Feb 3 2006)

This is it! The news story that's been gobsmacking friends and colleagues of mine for the last couple of weeks as I gleefully retell this tale of potential baby snatchers ! Ready?
Now what is more pagan than an owl? My own bird of choice when hitching a ride, and always one to trigger me out on to the ether. Due to warming climates, a particular large owl, known in Europe as the Eagle Owl, the largest known owl of the species, has migrated northwards into Britain and it is now estimated that there are about 250 of them, permanently resident. The Eagle Owl has a wingspan of more than 5 feet (sorry for the english. Just think of our dear editor lying down and measure that !).
Well…. These wonderful creatures have begun taking dogs as they are walked along respectable British pavements by their owners. Reports have come in of miniature dachhunds, poodles and king charles spaniels being snatched from the bosoms and leads of their owners before their eyes. It's only a matter of time before the baby snatching starts, eh !!
The debate now is, do authorities protect indigenous wildlife (not dogs or babies) from these giant owls by
(a) exterminating all the foreign owls (b) culling them, or (c) leaving them alone to get on with it.
The consensus was ( c). Yipeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Pagan TV Channel
(MagicTV.com)

Everybody ready? All together: GROAN. Or do I hear another Yipeeeeeeeeee?
Telepathic Media was founded in the US in 1998 and is behind a Daily Spell Ezine and Witchschool.com.
Now it has branched out into a TV Channel (MagicTV) which broadcasts Pagan Nightly News (am I redundant ? Gasp Shock ?) and is capable of linking to Video-Capable Ipod, handheld devices, PCs and even web-based televisions (I've no idea what I'm talking about, but I bet all the under 20s do). Digital now allows "unlimited choices, extreme portability and global reach". MagicTV will cover all subjects dealing with body mind and spirit. Another show is Zener Project (telephathy and psychic phenomena), and Children of the Internet (on screen chatrooms).
Sorry, the whole thing lost me back with 'redundant'. I don't even watch TV unless it's Inspector Rex (Vienna) or Midsomer Murders (green grass).
So………….. if and when anyone hooks into this from Tassie (global reach!), please let me know so I can close the Green Folder and retire to Cygnet to breed eagle owls.

Who's got the Goat ! ???
(keynoter.com Nov 2005)

OK, the story's a bit old but I'll turn it into a puzzle instead. This young goat was found wandering around Key Largo (US) early one Sunday morning. Unharmed, but decorated with coloured string and ribbons on horns, collar and other parts, and covered in $$ bills attached to its trimmings. Looking for all the world like an escaped ritual sacrifice, authorities are bemused as apparently they're used to dealing with abandoned dead ones. (Key Largo !?).
So, the puzzle is, what pagan ritual do you think a happy goat covered in money may have been cast in? I expect to be inundated with emails. The winning entry (the most imaginative, not the correct one), will get a token goaty pressie from moi. And if I win, I get it. If there are more than 6 entries, I'll post them up next time round.
PS: The goat ended up with a permanent home at a goat sanctuary. (in Key Largo !?)

Pondering the Dark
(Goat and Candle Feb 06)

Swishing through some archival articles on this now closed site, I came across a short discussion on the connotations associated with "witch" and "dark", those architypical boxes that most beings wish to crunch polarities into: good/evil, black/white, dark/light, the usual. And we've done such a good job of reclaiming "witch" moreorless, but what about the word "dark". Do we really accept the 'other side' or ignore it? Is monism (not monotheism) a natural habit among the pagan community, or is this article correct, that modern pagans are discarding the ''dark''aspects of witchcraft, the opposite polarity?
I was reminded about all this recently in revisiting Storm Constantine's Wraeththu series, about the hermaphrodite race which takes over from humans, and which resolves itself into finally accepting the polarities of dark and light in its magic practices, thence morphing into a trio with the magician harself. As above so below. ( Sigh! Pity the Wraeththu are only fiction.)
Storm herself is a magic practitioner with a special interest in Egyptian mysteries and has also written and taught extensively about the creation of new magic systems.
So wrenching myself away from my private world and back to the article, it challenges us to take on the culture shock of leaving dualism behind and embracing monism, that celebrates the unity of both polarities of dark and light into a whole. It goes on to discuss how "an influx of people into the Pagan community continue to use symbolism and mysteries outside the context of monism, translating them to fit into the familiar world view of dualism, without engaging monism at all."
This sort of debate, of course, can't be done justice within a few light lines intended as entertainment, but it opens up potential for thought about what appears on commercial pagan bookshelves these days for new enquirers. If it ain't there, it can't be debated. Lighten up, girrrl, lighten up!.
(Google Storm's own publishing house Immanion Press but you need to request info on her magic books).

A little walk through a Little Bit of Britain
(Travel.TelegraphUK Dec 05)

Honest to Goddess, I just read this typically ordinary newspaper travel article. I am so tempted to paraphrase a vignette of it here just to capture the lingering pagan-ness, the ancient air, the hidden heathen land that is Britain:

"So my wife and I made our way to Much Wenlock to stay at The Raven there. This small town is entirely at ease in its own antiquity, unbuffed and uninterpreted. The Raven was a delight, as of Babette's Feast (that greatest of food films). If you're into "bare ruin'd choirs" walk down the dingle to these monastic Clunaic houses in their sweet gardened intimacy. In the courtyard is a Norman lavatorium, of ravishing beauty, with its elaborate false arcading of pagan designs and grotesques.
On Wenlock Edge pheasants call and buzzards mew while bluebells smoke the woods. In Church Sutton a lapidary little waterfall in Light Spout Hollow runs to Robin Hood's Butts which took us to a fort and castle ring. On a high point behind the Horseshoe Inn the Devil's Chair stands gigantically aloof, a mass of quartz, blackened by uncounted ages. Flat white stones lay about like tombstones with no names, of beasts and men who have gone into the silence of annihilation. Here the Wild Hunt is led in its local incarnation of an 11th century Mercian thane who has transmuted into Wild Eric. With his scaly-tailed demon-band, to view which is to die, he shrieks, howls, swarms and swoops over the Stiperstones to signify impending war.
On the next hill is the Bronze Age circle Mitchel's Fold of 15 uprights, the largest the height of a man. In the bad old times long ago, hungry locals had only the fairy cow which came here to be milked each night and morning, giving enough for everyone to have one pail. But a witch milked her dry through a sieve and so the fairy cow was never seen again. Shadows of the old gods here.
After pondering, we descended to the Miners Arms in Priest Weston, right into the arms of a Harvest Home celebration, the place decorated with bread fruit and cider, from which we eventually slipped away to our beds as a big bright moon sailed out from behind Corndon."

And pondering on that same big bright moon sailing out from behind Mt Dromedary and over my own burdock and nettles, convict hewn stone stele and little concrete bango frog, I shall leave you now to contemplate the wonders of this world and all the others.

May your hearth be blessed
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Jilli the Hedgewych