“Walker!” She screamed. Angie was lying on the floor. Diana rushed in and knelt down beside her. She felt for her pulse, and to her relief, found it. Mr. Hanson ran into the room.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking down at Angie. He picked the note up off the dresser.
“Oh, God, call an ambulance,” He said, reading it quickly.
“What did it say?” Diana asked.
“She said she was sorry for what she did, and that she was going to kill herself…” Walker said, staring at the wall. Diana gasped. She felt so guilty. A second later Isaac and Taylor appeared in the doorway. The fear could be read clearly in Taylor’s eyes.
“What happened?” He asked. Walker handed him the note. Taylor felt as though all time had stopped. There was a choking feeling in his throat, but he couldn’t cry. He heard Isaac say something beside him. He heard his mother talking to the 911 operator. He sat down on Angie’s bed, and held her pillow in his lap. He began to feel hatred toward his father. This was his entire fault. He made Angie feel the way she did. Taylor threw the pillow against the wall. He heard sirens approaching. He felt as though he was watching this on television. He didn’t move from his spot on the bed, even when his father asked him if he wanted to come to the hospital. Taylor didn’t even look him in the face. After they had left, Taylor curled into a ball and began to cry. What would he do if Angie died? He couldn’t imagine it. He didn’t want to.
Angie groaned, there was a terrible pain in her throat and stomach. She opened her eyes and looked at the white tiled ceiling above her. Everything came rushing back to her. The pills, they hadn’t worked. Tears came to her eyes. She must be in a hospital. Why didn’t they work? Why wasn’t she dead? Someone entered the room, and Angie looked up.
“You’re awake!” Taylor exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Angie’s neck. Angie felt his tears run down her neck.
“Why did you do that to me? I was so scared?” Taylor said, putting his hands on Angie’s face.
“Because I was just causing trouble,” She said, taking a shaky breath.
“How many damn times do I have to say this? You are not causing trouble! We are in this together!”
“Taylor, I don’t care, it’s what everyone else thinks.”
“What about what you think?”
“It never mattered before.”
“Damnit Angie, you need self esteem.”
“That’s a little hard to have.” Just then, Mr. and Mrs. Hanson walked into the room. They both looked guilty.
“I’m sorry, Angie,” Diana said, slowly. Mr. Hanson didn’t look up. Angie knew he still felt as though he was right.
“I’m not saying what you did was right, but I’m sorry for treating you the way I did,” He said. Angie nodded. She felt uncomfortable, and she could tell that everyone else did also.
“When can I leave here?” Angie asked.
“In a few hours, they want to make sure all the medicine is out of your system. They are also going to suggest a counselor,” Mrs. Hanson answered.
“Okay.”
Angie stared at the counselor, he stared back at her evenly.
“We can sit here and stare at each other, or we can talk,” He said.
“I like staring.”
“Angie…Why are you here?”
“Because I’m a fuck up.”
“Nobody is a fuck up, people just make mistakes.”
“I make more than my share.”
“So you’re here because you make mistakes like everyone else?”
“I tried to kill myself.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Because I ruined someone’s life. Actually, I ruined several people’s lives.”
“How did you do that?”
“By opening my mouth when I should have walked away.”
“What did you say that you shouldn’t have, that ruined their lives?”
“He came up to me. And he looked so beautiful. I couldn’t resist it, and I invited him to my apartment. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I did anyhow.”
“Mmhmm.”
“And now, I’m pregnant with a sixteen year old boy’s child. How stupid is that?”
“But he agreed to having sex I take it.”
“Yes.”
“He helped. You didn’t get pregnant by yourself.”
“But I shouldn’t have done everything I’ve done!”
“You’re mad at yourself.”
“No, what gave you that idea.” The session continued in this fashion. Angie felt stupid for being there. When she got back to the Hanson’s house, she ran upstairs to her room and shut the door. Taylor came in and sat on the bed. He didn’t say anything, but Angie could hear his breathing. She wanted him to hold her, but she knew he couldn’t. That counted as “psychical” and surely his parents would object. After a few minutes, he left. Angie felt like crying, but she couldn’t. She had run out of tears it seemed. She had run out of energy, and hope. At least in New York, she had hope for a future. But now all she could look forward to was the bitterness that Taylor’s family felt. And a baby if she even got to keep it. Life was just confusing.