Revenge of the Regulars 1
Written by: AnGeL X
Disclaimer: The Regulars own themselves, I don't own InsideTheWeb, Buffy or anything else! This story was written in fun and based on my constant aggressions towards the problems with the board and the bazoars. In all honestly, and all problems aside, I love InsideTheWeb and the boards they make. This story in no way is meant to encourage violence towards the people that run this place. I guess I own the plot, but I'm not sure I want to, and the regulars/bazoars/ITW people own themselves. I hope.
You know those superhero stories where the bad guys loose and the good guys win and the entire story is so corny you can't help but laugh? That's what this turned out to be. It was stuck somewhere between incredibly serious and incredibly funny and vola! Corny fiction from the Board Momma. Be warned, facts within are not true. Locations are made up. Personalities and words spoken are probably no where near what they should be, besides my own of course, but this is my attempt at giving everyone a line.
This took me a while to figure out, but I'm making this a two-part series. If you're not in this part, you'll definitely be in the second part.
* * * * *
"Oh no. This is *so* not funny!"
Michelle, the Spoiler Board Momma had just woken up and sat down in front of her computer to check the board accompanied by a cup of coffee with extra caffeine when she discovered the worst had happened.
The entire board had been...deleted!!!
"It's 5AM, I'm not awake yet. I'm seeing things," she said aloud. She reloaded the board several times to be sure, then loaded the administration page to try and remedy the problem. But the password didn't work.
"INTERNAL SERVER ERROR!" The message taunted her.
"Oh, I'll give you an internal server error..." (A slew of curses followed, but those can't be posted here, so use your imagination.) "It's one thing to freeze the board for a day, but to delete everything? I so don't think so."
"You've got mail!"
Michelle checked her mail and found that InsideTheWeb has sent her an e-mail regarding all four of her boards.
To whom this may concern:
Your boards were taking up too much of our server. Too many people visited them. Therefore, we deleted them. Find another service.
Sincerely,
InsideTheWeb.
"Argh. This means war."
* * * * * *
A few days later, an event like no other occurred in Los Angeles, California. The Board Regulars all got together...for one reason.
To get their boards back.
"Everyone here?" Michelle shouted over the mass of regulars. Nearly a hundred of them gathered, young and old, from countries around the world. She stood on a platform, rising about the crowd, trying to make her voice be heard over all the talking.
"Where's G-man?" Megg asked, her eyes scanning the crowd.
Shannon rolled her eyes and spoke up, "Where do you think he is? Wherever Aly is."
Suddenly out of the middle of a group of girls G-man shouted, "I'm here! I'm just distracted by all these lovely ladies..."
"Yeah...distracted," Aly provided.
"Can we focus please? We're here to get our boards back." Michelle sighed.
"So, what are we planning to do?" Vampy Angel asked.
"We're going to get our boards back," Nyx said.
"You know, I know some people...they could take care of these guys for us..." LaVelle began to say.
"No! We're going to deal with this ourselves," Michelle said.
"Besides, if anyone is going to 'take care of these guys,' it's gonna be us," OztheVampSlayer said with a grin.
Berry pushed herself up to sit on the edge of the platform where Michelle was standing and added, "We all didn't just come here from all corners of the world for nothing."
"Then go see if we can find the crew of 'Angel' filming on location," Jen added happily.
AngelHART's voice then shouted over the crowd, "Ooh, maybe we'll see David!"
"David? Where is he?" AngelzBuffy said as she looked around frantically.
"I'm right here!" David yelled back, earning the attention of every David Boreanaz fan in the crowd.
"Um, I think they meant David Boreanaz." Kaytee said softly. "Not you."
"PEOPLE!" Dorit yelled. "Remember the board?"
* * * * * *
Peacefully, and quietly, the regulars poured into building where InsideTheWeb's headquarters was located. They calmly passed the security guard who was so distracted by the mass of the group that he was unable to come up with a reason why they shouldn't enter.
Ozzie and LaVelle pushed open the double doors, making room for the Board Momma and the rest of the regulars.
Two men who sat in front of computer screens turned around as the group of regulars filled the large room filled with computers and other technical equipment. "Who are you?" One of the men said. He was tall and lanky, his hair and clothes messed from the many hours he'd obviously spent in front of a computer screen and done nothing else. The other man was short and bald, his appearance just screaming, 'I work for the DMV, and plan to make your life Hell.'
"We're the Creatures of the Night," Bagel announced.
"It's 9:30 AM," the short man said.
"Okay...then, we're The Spoiler Board Regulars," Heather informed them.
"Huh?" They both said simultaneously.
"See! I told you 'Spoiler Board Regulars' wasn't going to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies," JenJoy cried, trying to hold back a smile.
"And 'People so Addicted to a Posting Board They Come From Anywhere To Save It' would have worked?" Maye argued, jokingly.
Evil Willow stepped between the two of them and shouted, "Hey! Could we? Remember, the board we're supposed to be saving?"
"We're the regular posters of the boards you just deleted. The Buffy Cross & Stake Spoiler Board ring any bells?" Mina glared at the two men.
"Uh..." The bald man said nervously.
"You deleted our boards, and we're here to get them back," Jenna growled.
"Uh..." He said again.
"Is that all you know how to say?" Xander'sWoman asked. "How the Hell did you end up in charge here?"
"Hey...we own InsideTheWeb," the short man spoke again, his voice shaking slightly. "If we want to delete a board, then we do. Simple as that."
Kurupt reached out and grabbed him by his shirt. "Shut. Up. There are two of you, and over a hundred of us. Do the math on who has more power here..."
"We've got plenty of 'Internal System Error' aggressions just waiting to be dealt with," Bagel said.
"Why'd you delete our boards?" Will0w99 managed to ask calmly. The regulars were quickly growing impatient.
"We already told you. You were taking up too much space." The tall man said.
"He speaks!" Xander'sWoman shouted. "Now shut up!"
"That's not gonna work. You're a free message board service. You can't just delete our board," LC said angrily.
"Can too," the short man said, his voice challenging them.
"Can. Not," Mitsy argued.
"Can--" The tall man began, but never finished.
G-man stepped in front of him and he stopped speaking. "Didn't we tell you to shut up?"
"I'm going to ask you this one more time, and then *I'm* going to get violent. Why did you delete the boards?" Arms crossed in front of her, Michelle took a step forward and glared at both men.
"Okay, okay!" The tall man finally caved. "We'll talk. We were paid a lot of money to have the boards shut down...and well..."
"You were PAID? By who?" Chris-c asked.
"Uh..." The tall man said.
"Would you stop with the 'Uh's'. Who paid you?" wwolfe demanded to know.
"We weren't given a lot of details. We just receive a large sum of money from a group of people that called themselves...'The Annoying Ones."
The room went silent as everyone stared at the man in shock. Finally, Litabuffy broke the silence.
"Freaking Bazoars!"
Sequel Story
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