WHiMS 2

WHiMS 2

By Hejira

Disclaimer: Um...refer to others.

Summary: After the MiB and Kathryn manage to restore Sullivan, the WHiMS come up with another tactic, and utilise an MIB in their plans.

"WHAT?!?"
Lt Hayes looked down at the ground. "I said, his program's been restored."
Private Pam shook her fist. "How can you say that so calmly?"
"I dunno."
Katie 1 tossed her biscuit. "Well, we can't delete him again. What do we do?"
A large thud came from the wall. "Did we HAVE to choose the quarters next to B'Elanna's?" Kim whined.
A light bulb came on above Jenn's head. The other WHiMS girls dropped their jaws.
"Can we remove a part of him?"
"No," The bulb dimmed. "But how the heck didja get a lit light bulb above your head?" Hayes asked.
"I dunno."
"Give me that!" Hayes immediately took the light off Jenn's head and put it above her own. It glowed brighter than their eyes did whenever they got Be-Au-Ti-Ful spoilers.
"I hate him," Kate grumbled.
Hayes made a 'tsk' sound. "I don't."
Everyone gasped. No WONDER she wasn't keen on the name WHiMS!
"I just hate him with her," the lieutenant added.
"So...what's with the light bulb?" Pam asked.
"Well, if we can't delete a Sullivan, we'll restore one."
Coral caught on. "His wife!"
"Exactly." Hayes pulled a cord that had suddenly appeared and pulled it. The light flicked off.
=/\=
"Teaspoon?"
"Teaspoon."
"Fair Haven tape?"
"Fair Haven tape."
"Irish accent?"
Private Pam talked into a microphone for a little while. "Irish accent."
"Wedding ring?"
"Wedding ring. I was so hoping that this would have been on Chakotay's finger..."
"Big old-fashioned dress?"
"Wait, lemme get a tape of Kathryn's old holonovel..."
"Come on, the woman should have SOME dignity..."
"What woman?"
"Mikey's wife!"
"Oh."
"Check the Fair Haven tape again."
"Okay...Big old-fashioned dress."
Triple-bleeps from the computer caused the two girls to pause. "Ooo, bugger."
"What?"
"She's got my accent, not yours!"
"That won't work." Pause. "Wait..."
"What?"
"It could work...just gimme that PADD." Pam took it out of the Australian's hand.
"DON'T TOUCH IT!"
"Why?"
"A screensaver's about to come up!" Sure enough, it did. "Yippie!"
"Maybe we should just focus on Voyager...boy, you're really out there." Pam bit her lip, realizing what she had just said.
"Come on...come on...WOOO HOOOO! This episode's on tonight," Hayes said grinning.
"Pam to Kate: get over here ASAP."
*What is it, Private?*
"Just come here, okay?"
*I can't unless you tell me what it is.*
"Mulder and Scul-"
*I'll be right over.*
"And it's Fox and Dana!" Hejira's face fell.
"Bugger. I touched something. Hello..."
"What?"
"I nearly forgot this bit."
"What?"
Tapping a few buttons, the lieutenant finally reached what she was looking for. It was a sound file. Of Beverly Crusher. "Why didn't you ever tell me you were in love with me?" it said.
"Oh boy...JUST FOCUS ON GETTING SULLIVAN'S WIFE BACK!!!!"
"Okay, I'm just procrastinat-" "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEE!" Hayes tapped one button. "Done."
Mrs Sullivan appeared. "Streuth, mate! Got a XXXX?"
"Bugger..."
=/\=
Every single one of the WHiMS girls were sitting in the Mess Hall. No; scrap sitting, and put in its place 'Working'. Those MiB rats.
"So," Coral began, "We have an Irish wife for Sullivan with an Australian accent, and one of our own have crossed sides - what are you still doing here?!?"
"O.D.ing on M/S and separating Mike from Kathryn. I don't hate him; just what he's done."
"So, why are you wearing a little MiB badge?"
"Emphasize little. I don't want you deleting him."
"Why?"
"Because we might be doing this," pointing to the Leola root, "For life."
"Let's just -" A light bulb appeared above her.
"What?" Coral exchanged looks with everyone except the itty bitty MiB, then everyone looked at her.
"Can you do an Irish accent?" Katie1 asked.
=/\=
"Just a little tighter..."
"Are you kidding? Seven of Nine'll be wider than me when you've finished!"
"We need to make you irresistible."
"I don't need help to be such. But Resistance wouldn't be futile if you squeeze harder!"
"Why?"
"High-pitched voice, a false Irish accent? It doesn't miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiixxxxxxxxxx!!!!!!!!! What are you doing?"
"Pulling the strings a little harder. Why?"
"Because I won't even be able to say a drabble! It's so tight; can you loosen it just a little? Please? Pretty please, with Talaxian Tomatoes on top? It's cutting off the circulation to my legs! Please? Look, I may be in both groups, but does that mean you can just torture me like this. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Please don't show that! I hate Samantha!!!!!!!!! She only LUSTS for Fox! Just loosen it please? You're making me decide between one of the groups, aren't ya? Can't Pam do this? Coral? K1? Jenn? Anyone? You know, I can just turn into an MiB..."
"Please don't. Waitaminit...2,4,6,8...tchu, tchu-tchu, tchu-tchu,tchu-tchu...cheeky!" Kate let go of the strings.
"This isn't working, is it?"
"Nope."
"Can't we just fix the accent?" Coral asked. "Computer: Alter Sullivan Wife character. Irish accent."
*Adjustment confirmed.*
They all sighed. That was easy. "Now, place Sullivan Wife character into the Fair Haven simulation."
*Adjustment confirmed.*
"And adjust Sullivan character accordingly."
*Adjustment confirmed.*
"There. We didn't delete him..."
"And Kathryn can't have him..."
They all Hi-5ed each other. Mission accomplished!

The End!
What do you think of the story? What do you think of my confession?
Lt Hejira Hayes