WHiMS III: The Search For Jay The Spy

By Coral

Mail Me! ~ Coral's Stories ~ The WHiMS

To Jay, For the hobnobs and Sky TV and the Dartboard.

(Disclaimer in Part I) Yes, I know I haven't written part II. Hejira did. Besides, in Braga doesn't give a damn about continuity, why should I?

"It's important to remember not to panic. If we lose our heads, we may be captured by MiB, and I'm sure you don't want that, do you?" Pte Pampers said, regarding the WHiMS members seriously. They all shook their heads with determined faces.

Jenn stood up. "They've got two dogs guarding the MiB Headquarters now, Daisy and Tandar. It'll be hard to get in."

"Not to mention that Hejira defected and has probably gone and told them all our secrets," Corporal Coral put in with a glum scowl. "I know we sent Chakotay to sellotape her mouth, but…"

"At least we have Chakotay on our side," Lt Charon said optimistically.

"We'll take dog biscuits and the underwear stapler that Jay the Spy got us just before she was captured," Pte Pampers decided. "And remember, no shooting neutrals like Nemesis, or else we'll be in trouble."

"You can say that again," Kim sighed, throwing a dart at their Michael dartboard.

Pampers handed out Hob-nobs whilst continuing her briefing. "This shouldn't be too difficult, girls. We'll just give the dogs a load of biscuits, bombard anyone guarding Jay the Spy with mouldy eggs, and get her out of there!" She made eye contact with each of the members of the group. "I don't think I need to point out what will happen if we fa8il to liberate Jay. There will be no more hobnobs."

The group gasped in horror.

"What are we waiting for?" Corporal Coral asked. "Let's go!"

The group made their way down the wide pathway leading to the MiB Headquarters. In the distance, they could hear a barking and a few shouts that sounded like someone enjoying themselves. The Headquarters were load and daunting, and the big sign on the gate that said "NO WHiMS MEMBERS ALLOWED INSIDE" did nothing to raise their spirits.

"This is it," Pte Pampers said, pulling out her lock picking kit and handing it to Lt Charon, who took it and started to creep slowly forwards with some dog biscuits in her other hand.

Corporal Coral and Kim loaded their Leola Rifles and held them at the ready in case any MiB member should appear.

"There's the dogs!" Katie hissed.

Sure enough, two dogs burst out of the gate and hurled themselves down the path towards Charon, who suddenly remembered to hold out the dog biscuits. The other WHiMS members reached for their biscuits too, holding them out for the dogs to take.

Daisy leapt at Charon and snatched the dog biscuit straight out of her hand. "Good dog," Charon murmured, feeding her another one. "Good dog. Now, be a good girl and go home."

Obediently, Daisy turned round and trotted back into the Headquarters, followed by Tandar, who had been dealt with in a similar way by Pampers and Jenn.

Charon quickly joined the other WHiMS members in the shadows as two of the MiBs came out of the Headquarters.

"I wonder what made them come out like that?" Puck mused aloud.

"Maybe they heard some of he WHiMS," Jenna suggested.

"If that's the case," Puck said, "They've gone now. It was probably just a rabbit."

"At least we weren't holding the leads this time," Jenna grinned. The two MiBs walked back into the Headquarters, leaving the coast clear for the WHiMS members.

Cautiously, Charon picked the lock, and the doors swung noiselessly open. The attack force crept through the portal on tiptoe, scanning for holographic signatures and jay's lifesigns.

"I've got her!" Kim whispered at exactly the same time that Katie warned, "I'm reading Michael's signature!"

"We'll split in two," Pte Pampers said, arming an anti-hologram grenade. "Charon, Katie and I'll go after Michael. Corporal Coral, you'll lead Kim and Jenn to get Jay. Good luck."

"You too," Coral whispered, and the group split up.

"On three," Coral instructed her group. "One, two, three!"

The three WHiMS burst into the room where Jay the Spy was being held. Coral and Kim trained their rifles on the man and kazon-looking girl guarding Jay.

"Turn around with your hands in the air," Jenn instructed, poised to start throwing eggs at any minute.

"Hey, it's Jack from Stargate!" Kim exclaimed in surprise as the man turned with his hands in the air.

"Stick sellotape over their mouths," Coral instructed Kim, keeping her rifle trained on the two former guards.

Soon, Jack was tied to the chair and Cullah-Jenna was beside him on the floor. Jay the Spy was free, flexing her arms and legs.

"God, that was awful," she groaned. "Cullah-Jenna is petrifying - the hairdo is enough to nearly kill you!"

"It's over now," Jenn said. "We've gotta rendezvous with Pampers!"

"I'll leave you now guys," Jay the Spy said. She handed Kim a pack of hobnob biscuits. "Give these to Pte Pampers and tell her that Jay the Spy is back on the job!"

The WHiMS members grinned at her and left the room by the door, leaving Jay to activate her site to site transporter.

"He's just behind this door!" Katie whispered.

"I'm reading Hejira's lifesigns too, and Chakotay's," Charon informed Pte Pampers.

"Okay then, I'll take care of Michael." Pampers practically spat the name, "Charon, you keep the Leola Root Rifle trained on Hejira, and Katie, you make sure Chakotay doesn't come to any harm."

"Aye sir!" the two chorused smartly, and they all burst into the room.

"Nobody move!" Pampers demanded.

"Mm-hm-hgm-thm-emmm!" Hejira said, and Pampers grinned.

"Good work, Chakotay," she said. "That'll stop her giving away our secrets."

"We have secrets?" Charon whispered to Katie.

"Don't ask," she murmured back.

Michael looked at them all confused. He opened his mouth to speak, but Pampers never gave him the chance. She threw the grenade at him, and Michael disappeared.

"That's not the only one," Chakotay informed her. "They've got more back-up copies."

Pampers looked worried. "We'll plant a computer virus before we leave to delete them all. Any viruses with you Katie?"

"I've got one on me, yes," Katie said, "But I need a terminal or console or some other interface."

Charon turned to Chakotay. "Can you help…?" she asked worriedly.

"There's one over here," he said, pointing to it. "But it's encrypted."

"That doesn't matter," Katie explained, "I'll just use my Feinberger and cross-circuit the double-talk generators to the primary back-up matrix."

"When did you get so good at technobabble?" Charon asked.

"Coral's been coaching me," Katie said, clicking in a couple of icons with the mouse. "There. That should do it!"

"Great job!" Pampers exclaimed. "Now let's find Coral's team."

"Ouch!" everyone yelped as they bumped into each other.

"Quick, this way," Jenn whispered furiously, looking at her map. The WHiMS followed her out the front door and raced down the path without looking back over their shoulders, never relaxing until they were safely back aboard the Tomahawk.

Kim held up the hobnobs.

"Jay The Spy's back on the job!" she grinned. "Anyone for a hobnob?!"

END