WHiMS VII: Desperations

By Coral

WHiMS ~ Coral's Stories ~ Email

Disclaimer: It's disclaimers as usual, folks.

I'm not sure who this should be dedicated to, but I think apologies probably ought to go out to Pam!

Last time on WHiMS VI: The Undiscovered Hologrid...
"Can I ask you to put your differences aside and work together?"
"Do you trust them?"
"Would you trust a spoonhead?"
"Fine! I'll leave you to your gratuitous Michael Bashing!"
"She's a *liability*, P, not an asset."
"We'll keep an eye on Hejira."
"It's Fair Haven... kinda..."
"We've got to find the person responsible for... for this."
"Michael?"
And now, the continuation...

"Miss Puck," he rumbled. "You've found me."
"What?" Puck asked, her voice a nervous squeak as she joined the slowly retreating WHiMS and MiB members.
"I am the one responsible for the changes to the program!" he bellowed.
"What?" Charon asked in disbelief. "But - that would mean - "
"-he's sentient!" Pam concluded, her eyes lighting up with worry.
Coral looked around. "There's only one way to determine that. Ever heard of the Turing Test?"
@~@~@
"What exactly is this supposed to do?" Katie asked as she connected the three computers in a local area network. "I've never heard of the Turing Test."
"It's a test used to decide if something, usually a computer, is artificially intelligent or not," Coral explained. "Pam will type in a question which Michael and myself will answer anonymously."
"If I can tell which answer comes from the 'computer', so to speak, then Michael isn't really sentient."
Katie nodded. "I get it." She looked around slyly, then lowered her voice and asked, "Want me to rig the computers?"
Coral and Pam laughed, causing Shorty and Jenna to wander over to see what was going on.
"Hey, where's Angel, Shorty?" Pam asked curiously. The two were normally inseparable.
"He and Chakotay went off for a drink together," Shorty explained glumly. "And, as we signed the no hurting Angel treaty, I thought he'd be all right. Have you finished setting up yet?"
Corporal Coral nodded. "We've just finished. I'll go to my computer and wait."
The rest of the girls came running up, and Michael was taken to another computer. Pam settled down in front of the last screen and the other girls watched her over her shoulder with eager anticipation.
"Okay, first question... Pam mused aloud. Her fingers flying over the keyboard, the Irish Private typed in her first question with a wicked gleam in her eyes.
"What is your name?"
Hejira yelled. "Hey! That's cheating!"
The other MiB's nodded their agreement.
Grumbling, Pam thought of another question. "What is pi to five decimal places?" she typed.
"God, Pam, you *know* I hate maths!" one message said.
The other said, "3.14159."
Jenna rolled her eyes. "Let me guess: your amazing deductive powers lead you to believe that Coral's answer was the first one."
Pam looked sheepish. "Sorry." She typed another question, then another. Then she turned to the assembled audience. "I think that perhaps one of you ought to replace Coral."
"Why?" Charon and Kate2 chorused in unison.
Pam indicated the screen. "This is too easy. Coral's the one sending the really weird and sarcastic answers."
Jenn looked at the last answer and laughed. "Well, I'm guessing Michael didn't say that!"
"I say we give up. It's pretty obvious he's sentient," Jenna said.
Kate2 opened her mouth to argue, but Kim quickly put her hand over Kate2's mouth to keep her quiet. "Ssh! Don't argue with her, we'll be here all night!"
"Mm-mm," Kate2 mumbled, her voice muffled by Kim's hand.
"Okay," Kim said, and dropped her hand.
"Thanks!" Kate2 muttered sarcastically, but the rest of the girls were already deep in argument about Michael's sentience or lack thereof.
Finally, Private Pam yelled. "Okay! Okay! For the moment, let's just say he *is* sentient! What do we do?"
Before anyone could answer, Coral ran up and tugged on Private Pampers' sleeve. "Private," she said in a quiet voice, "We have a problem."
Pampers drew the Corporal aside. "What's up?" she asked quietly.
"It's Chakotay! He's gone into the woods alone!"
"I thought Angel was with him!" Pam hissed.
"He *was*," Coral replied, "But he drank too much and passed out."
"Men!" Pam spat. "Why did we bring them along? We're going to have to go and find Chakotay, we can't let anything happen to him!"
@~@~@
The girls, with the exception of Shorty who stayed behind to try and revive Angel, ran up the hill after Charon, who was using her tricorder to try and locate Voyager's First Officer.
"How much further?" Jenn gasped out, her legs already tiring.
"He's about - twenty metres - ahead!" Charon replied breathlessly as she checked the readout display.
The girls shuddered to a halt as a shrieking sound pierced the air.
"Perhaps he's hurt!" Puck exclaimed frantically, and the group sped off again, reenergised. The shrieks and wails continued to issue forth from somewhere up ahead as they followed Charon once more, nearly falling over each other when she suddenly halted without warning.
"He should be here..." Charon said, confused, but a look of comprehension dawned in Puck and Jenna's eyes, and their gaze travelled upwards... into the tree that stood above them.
"Chakotay?" Puck asked.
"Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyn!" Chakotay wailed.
Kim and Katie couldn't help themselves. They looked into each other's eyes and burst out laughing.
Jenna looked worried. "What's wrong, Chakotay?" she called, but he ignored her.
"Let me try," Pmapers said softly, and set off up the tree. It was actually easy to climb but, then again, it *was* holographic. "Chakotay?" she asked, settling next to him on the branch, "What's wrong? Why are you up here?"
"It worked for Michael," Chakotay sobbed. "I looove her!" Kaaathryyyn!"
Pam winced involuntarily at the high pitched wail. "There, there, Chakotay," she said helplessly. "There, there." She patted him on the arm, wishing that she were a trained counsellor. Obviously, Chakotay had some problems...
"What do I do?" Chakotay asked plaintively. "That *stupid* hologram! I should have depiled his program the moment I first saw him look at her! I should have deleted the entire Fair Haven scenario!" he yelled, working himself up to fever pitch with should-haves. "Do you hear me Michael?! I'm going to delete your entire world!"
A heavily accented Irish voice floated up to them. "I hear ye alright, I hear ye," it said, low and dangerous.
"Pampers, he's got a gun!" Jenn yelled.
Pam's eyes went wide and she grabbed Chakotay's shoulder. But she was too late.
"You filthy hologram!" Chakotay screamed, parting the branches so that he and Pampers were exposed to Michael's line of vision.
Michael raised the gun and fired twice.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as Chakotay and Pam tumbled from the tree, landing heavily on the ground.
The girls gasped in horror. Puck and Hejira rushed to restrain Michael, wresting the gun from his grasp. The WHiMS rushed forward, Coral and Jay immediately feeling for pulses as Charon fumbled for her tricorder.
"Zarf!" Coral swore as her eyes met Jay's and they shared a meaningful look. "Charon?" she asked, her voice failing as she looked at the two still forms. She forced herself not to turn and look at Michael because she knew that, if she did, she would lose control and kill him, hologram or no.
Charon ran the tricorder over the two, double checking and then triple checking the readings. Then she shut the tricorder with a look of despair.
Her voice cracked as she announced, "They're dead."